Life goes on…

July 2015 – Saturday, finally a day off, rest…I’m so tired, weary, exhausted…people don’t get that, who don’t live here…you never get a good nights rest, or just when you start to sleep normal again, the shooting and bombing starts, and you are woke in the middle of night with flashes of lights and crashes of bombs!  You’re shaken to the core.  You never know when it is coming…but that is the pan, that is the motis oprendi for the enemy…keep them on the edge, keep them wondering when I will fire on them again…the not knowing is the difficult part.  But today, right now, it is quiet…so I must do some of the work that needs to be done, that gets neglected through the week.  Tomorrow we have guests,  Sema’s father and Tanya arrive for the next weeks camp for physically and mentally challenged people.    Sema and I need to go today and make sure that all the kids remember the camp, and know to be up and ready for us to pick them up.  We need to clean, as you never know when there is going to be bombing, and they can hit the water canal, and we may be without water for a day, a week, or a month.      There is a lot of preparation for the camp, from curriculum to craft activities, music, physical therapy for those that need; special diets, drinks, juice, snacks…so much to remember, yet there is such joy on their faces when they accomplish a tasks, make a bracelet, clap to the music; all the work and preparation time fades away. 

Oleg V.  stops by with sheets…200 of them, from the ‘Rainbow’, headquarters, telling us that they have a rotation, and that they all left.  Alarmed, Sema makes some calls, and sure enough, most have left, and the rest will leave Monday.  This isn’t good; we have formed relationships with these people, connections with them, that if there is a problem, we can call them, and they will come over…in addition, if there is ‘something’ that may happen, they will call us, and give us a much needed warning.  Without this connection, we have no one to call if we were in desperate help.  We make a few more calls to see who we can meet with, as yesterday when we were at ‘rainbow’ and got the bread, one of the commanders, Alexander walked up to me and introduced himself.  When I went to say my name, he said my name, and said, ‘I know’…not sure how to respond, I just said it was good to meet him.  He then, to my surprise, started to speak in English to me.  He talked to me about the situation, and said that he was part of the new rotation and that they would not leave for 2 months.  He gave us his number and said that if we needed anything, to call him.   All I could think was, ‘hummm, time will tell…’  In light of the recent news, we call Alexander to ask, ‘what is going on??’  He confirms that there are some leaving, but NOT from his group.   He assures me, if we need anything, he is here to assist us.  This news, eases our minds that we continue to have familiar faces to help us.

Back to the laundry, 12 loads in all, 3 bottles of bleach and loads of soap…still they don’t seem to get very clean, but we did our best.  The afternoon was spent just cleaning and preparing for the night of bombing…we try to go to bed somewhat early, as the shelling usually starts around midnight, but for the past few days, it is getting earlier. 

Goodness, 10 p.m. the bombing starts, and I didn’t get any sleep at all.  I just lay, think, pray, and try to think that I need to go home, I miss the babies, Rich, the rest of the kids…but I’m so pulled about being here, I’m needed here, but this NOISE, I can’t deal with it. God help me.

War is a place you lose who you were and not sure who you will find at the other end.

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