Category Archives: For the Sake of 1

Life at the Front

Chapter 17

8-12-14 – Tuesday, still no water, and looks like it will be a while.  It is dry, hot, no breeze at all…just dead heat.  I can’t imagine my ‘new friends’, and what they endure for the safety and security of this country.  They are layered in gear, bulletproof vests and or body armor, long pants, socks, boots, knee pads, all sorts of gadgets and gear.   I pray for their safety all the time.  It is just me and God, so I talk to Him a lot.  We have had some very long conversations about life…what’s important, and what’s fluff.   In America there is a lot of fluff…life here is real and ‘in your face’.   Living on the edge is quite literal.  One minute you are talking to a friend, and the next you are shaking in your shoes, running for ‘cover’ from an unexpected explosion a few miles away.  God becomes, very real, very fast, and the way I spend my time is more deliberate.   I just don’t drive into town for one thing, I have a list, know exactly where I’m going, and go and return to the house. Not many people out on the streets, as it is just too dangerous and unpredictable.

I’m thankful for the internet, but it has become more and more sporadic in that last days.  Who knows why…the torment of intermittent communication with the rest of the world is enough to make one ‘go’ a little whacky.  One minute you are talking to your loved one, and then just ‘gone’…internet shuts off.  No warning, no reason, and does not coming back on.    I think that it is some sort of demoralizing ploy by the russians to torment us. Who knows, but it does the trick.

Today I will go and pick fruit for juice.  Juice is very expensive now due to delivery trucks refusal to bring food to the grocery stores since it is dangerous to travel the roads. One never knows when a band of DPR will appear on the road, flag you over, eject you from the vehicle and hijack it, and since the DPR needs food, delivery trucks are a prime target. They even go so far as to try and take the ‘back roads’, and that is even worse than the main roads, in addition, if they ‘hurt’ the driver, it will be days until someone finds you. Most people here ‘can’ or ‘jar’ their garden foods, but I haven’t had a very successful garden, as the kids at the center run through it when playing ‘chase’, and with the lack of water, gardens will get the last water, if people need water to live, so I need to continue to harvest the local street fruit and make my own.  It is very odd, the people here won’t pick this fruit, I keep thinking that I’m doing something socially wrong, but after 15 years here, I haven’t really taken notice, but people rarely pick the fruit that is literally everywhere, ‘free’ for the taking. There are MANY abandoned houses with fruit trees, but really, one doesn’t need to go into the yard, as many of the streets are lined with fruit trees. Of course, I’m picking my juice fruit from the trees on the next street over where there appeared to once be a house, but is no more. There are several types of fruit trees just full of fruit, rotting on the branch. So I’m picking it… people see me, they don’t say anything, so I guess it is fine. Picking the fruit and making juice for immediate consumption is fine, but it doesn’t allow me to ‘jar’ any for the impending winter, thus, if I’m here in winter, I will be forced to pay high prices, as I won’t have any stored.  I can’t even imagine what people that have fled will do, if they return to Dzerzhinsk.  Our once 100k population has dwindled to 33k, houses sit empty, gardens are dead, or overrun with huge unusable produce, completely bug infested. If they return, they will be facing a very bleak, expensive winter.    Right now, I have an abundance of plums (for jam), grapes (but they aren’t very sweet, due to the lack of water), apples (tart, but good for juicing), and squash (canning).   I have beets, potatoes, carrots, pumpkins and even celery but those won’t be ready till September.  I may not be here then, so I may lose all that myself.   I could pull it early, but then, if I do return, it would have been better to leave it in the ground longer…it is all a big decision.    I have been eating zucchini stir-fried, and fried almost every night.   It is at least healthy for me, but I’m getting tired of it.  I can’t imagine what the people do that live here, but I suppose they are used to it.  Bread, a staple for most people here, if you can find it, is now up to 6.50gh whereas it was 4.25gh.  Gas just jumped again today from 15.15 to 15.50 per liter.  I limit and combine ALL trips, no just driving people around.  All trips are combined for efficiency.  I always enjoyed being able to assist people when I would see them walking, and I still do, if I’m ‘going that way’, but gone are the days when I could just go across town and drive people home, if I wasn’t ‘going that way.’    So today I picked fruit, for tomorrow, I will make the juice.    I picked 50 apples from a combination of trees, so I have 3 different types of apples, but it doesn’t matter, as I’m juicing them.  My plum tree at the little house is amazing, and has wonderful plums to eat fresh from the tree, I will eat those, not ‘jar’ them.  I have made a grab stick from my paint pole, and it extends about 4 meters up the tree, so I can now reach many that would have normally fallen to the ground and rotted.  They are wonderful!   I’m thinking that I should ‘can’ some, but it is a huge mess to do all this canning, so when I do it, I like to have a lot and do many different things, canning, the juice, the jam, and even squash.  The water that the canning takes, and then there is the clean up, that is the mess, and with water rations, it is virtually impossible to get everything clean.  You have to sterilize the jars and lids too.  So even for those of us that ARE here, that ‘jar’ harvest our crops; we have the difficulty of canning.  Freezing is out of the question, since the power is completely unpredictable, and will shut off in a whim and we never know when it will resume.  It may go off for use a few hours, or a day or 2, and I can’t lose all that food.  Presently, my freezer only has cooked meat in it, and some grains.  I also have some frozen cherries that I will be using in my shakes, as I need to deplete those.  I can’t risk going back to the states and the power going out for days…what a mess that would be!   So I don’t purchase a lot of food, and watch what I do purchase, as the ability to keep it fresh, cooled, or just keep the bugs out of it..as that has been an issue in the cabinets.  I keep most of my ‘grains’ in the freezer, due to flour bugs.  I have lost some food because of that, and that is not a loss one wants to take, due to the cost of food.   And then there are the pesky mice, one must keep everything sealed. We do not have cats, due to allergies, but that would solve our mouse problems.

After a long morning of fruit picking, I took 5 kids to the lake, but it started to lightening after only about an hour…so we had to leave.  Took the kids home, and called it ‘a night’, taking a quick 3 minute shower, ending with cool water, preparing for a hot night.  I usually try to stay up until it cools off around midnight…but there is just ‘dead’ heat, no breeze.  The lightening continued till about 9 p.m., and NEVER a drop of much needed rain.  UGH!

8-13-14 – Wednesday, canning day.  Off to the center to can juice and whatever else I can find.  I have about 50 apples, and 6 huge zucchini and squash, plums and some grapes.  I will do what I can, with the time and water I have.  

From the 50 apples, I’m able to compress about 4 liters of juice, using just 2 cups of sugar, so that isn’t bad considering everything was free.  I will keep it stored and share with the kids later.   I also was able to compress 1 quart of applesauce from the apples, the kids will use the sauce on their cookies during tea time.  I made 48 muffins, which I may take to my ‘friends’, if time allows today.  I hate to bother them, as they are busy people, and to have someone wandering around their camp is probably not so good and a distraction for them.  So we shall see.   The kids arrive and want to go to the lake.  Understandably, it is terribly hot, and with the stove and ovens on.it is hot in the center.  I tell them they will need to wait till I’m finished, and they impatiently wait.  It is interesting to me, after all we do to sacrifice for them, it is NEVER enough.  Reminds me of my own 3 Ukie kids…never enough and always ‘entitled’ to more…they complain about everything, like I have some sort of control over their happiness.   I have never played that role, of the ‘fixer’, so what makes them think that I can fix the weather, or that muffins take 20 minutes to bake??  They are very impatient children.     

We leave late for the lake, due to muffins in the oven, and clean up, but when we get there, after only 30 minutes the afternoon ‘rumbles’ and lightening starts…we must leave.  I return them home, as they are so impolite to me, I don’t want them at the center, plus if it does rain, they could be stuck at the center for hours waiting for it to ease.   

Never does rain, but rumbles a lot, so I decide to go and pay my ‘friends’ a visit.  I have 48 muffins, and I can’t eat them all, so let’s give them away!!   They are delighted to see me, and Andrei is gracious to take the box and goes around man to man and hands them out.  He INSISTS that I take some g’ifts’ back with me, and loads me up with 120 liters of water, 100 kilos of gretcha (a grai), 20 kilos of sugar, 48 cans of fish, and 60 1- kilo bags of pasta!  What a kind man he is, and he is so excited to GIVE back.  Leaving their compound, I stop on the way home at Larissa’s as I know she needs water, and some food.  She is gracious to receive it, and then I think of Olga and her 3 nephews, and stop off and give some to her too.  She is very receptive and happy to see me.   She has taken on the responsibility of 3 rowdy nephews, after her twin sister passed away. Her sister had 9 children, an older girl and boy in Kyiv, 2 boys were adopted to the U.S. and are friends of mine, Olga took the 3 younger brothers, and the 2 youngest kids, 2 girls live with Olga’s daughter just around the corner. The 3 boys eat alot and Olga is thankful for any gifts of food. She is part of our food box delivery program when we are able to do that. We were very regularly doing that, but since the war, the cost of food, and just plain lack of food, we are not able to do much. With this wonderful gift from our friends, we can gladly ‘share the wealth’. Tomorrow, I will make a water run over to Artuma and help Dima (Lena’s father), and Lena’s grandparents, but for now it’s too late. 

8-14-14 – This morning, I will go to meet Dima and then off to Artuma to give water to Lena’s grandparents.  I decide that they will all receive food too, as we have so much.  They are happy to see me, and kindly give me fruit for a ‘thank you’ for the water and food.  Very kind of them!  Their granddaughter, Lena’ has been a friend of ours since we started to go to Ukraine, and many years ago, we brought her to the U.S. to study, and she now has a masters in Music Therapy, working in a hospital. I have known her grandparents for many years, lovely people, but grandpa is frail. I’m happy to share food and water with them, they just live, literally on the opposite of town from us. So I combine trips with other stops to deliver food to others over there.

Back at the center, there are things I need to do.  The big job is to cut the grass, but if I do, that means I need to shower, as it is so hot and dusty, I can’t have kids in the afternoon after cutting grass most of the day.  I have little water for 2 showers, as I always shower before I sleep, just to cool off.  I decide cutting weeds/grass is out…People really do not do much at all, just to try to stay cool.   So I need to tidy up some from all the previous week of jarring food.  I was putting away some jars I didn’t use, and open a cabinet, and oh my goodness, what do I find, but 3 exploded quart size jars of zucchini salsa.  Well, I guess you can’t ‘can’ that, as all 3 exploded, and what a mess.  My afternoon is now defined.  The stench of rotten zucchini is terrible.  Interestingly one evening last week, I was laying in bed and heard several ‘pops’ and thought someone was in the house, so I carefully came to the kitchen, but never saw anything.  I didn’t put it together that it was those jars, so I returned to bed.  I’m so very thankful that I didn’t leave for the states without looking in that cabinet.   Took me over an hour to clean up the mess, and with little water.   Worked up a good sweat, and now I will rest till the kids come at 2.  This heat is exhausting, and zaps all your energy.

The weather looks like it will be good for swimming today.   Olya, Vika, Vlad, Larissa and baby Sasha join us today.   We had the best surprise today, as Lera was at the lake today!!  It was great to see her again!    The kids had a good day of swimming, though Artur and Rada just don’t ‘get’ the concept of sharing and playing fair…reminds me of another Soviet I know, i.e. a little leader of RU, little man complex!!  Anyway, Artur, who is small for his age, desires any and all attention.  He will be a pest to everyone, splashing all the kids relentlessly, even after they ask him over and over to ‘stop’!  He completely ignores them, and me, and even when I tell him to ‘get out for a time out’, he will NOT.  So he will not swim with us for several days.  As for Rada (his sister), the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, she selfishly takes the Styrofoam float but never even uses it, it is like, ‘I have it, and no one else will use it.’  On top of that, she refuses to try to learn to swim…she just stands there in the water with the float, while the other kids wait on her to allow them a chance to use it.  Artur will take the float and use it to splash water on others, just being a pest.   So I think it is time for this family to feel a little squeeze of discipline.    A few days of ‘no lake’ may be the wake-up call for them…we shall see… 

These kids find the strangest things to be amused with.  While looking in the bushes around the lake, they spot some bathing suit bottoms, and are fascinated with them.  One needs to remember, that this is a place that people go to the bathroom in the bushes, they change clothes in the bushes, so to me, this is like, ‘ok someone was changing clothes, and they just forgot their bottoms.’  Nothing more then that, but for them, it is a great discovery, and something to be stared at over and over, like it was going to ‘move’ or something.  The kids took turns running to the bushes and glaring at these swim trunks.  Then there was the drunken couples that were basically ‘locked up’ in the water.  Absolutely disgusting, and probably 50 kids there to see this, they were all over each other like animals in ‘heat’.  All I could think was ‘what’ these kids are exposed to.  This same man was not more then 10 meters from us, and was throwing up prior to getting in the water, where he proceeded to repeatedly rinse his mouth spitting in the water…you now understand why I am not swimming in that water!!   The woman on the other hand, removed her bathing suit top and stands there completely exposed to anyone, then puts on ‘his’ over sized shirt, with nothing but her swim suit bottoms.  Then she goes in the water and removes the shirt!  All the while, Vlad and Artur are laughing and staring from the shore.  I walk over to them and insist that they turn around or go somewhere else to play to stop their gawking.  But, there really is nowhere else to play, as the lake isn’t that large, and all can see this couple.  I finally had had enough and motioned everyone to get out, that we were leaving! They didn’t like that, but totally understood that I was extremely uncomfortable with the cheap sideshow of this couple.

We return to the center at 5:45 for Bible study, and I’m so ‘fed up’ with them, I tell Sasha that I’m going to the house for a while.  I return at 6:30 and all the kids are gone, but Larissa, Nastia and Angel.  Sasha said that all the kids were so ‘bad’, he told them to ‘go home’, and I was not to take any of them swimming tomorrow, except maybe Nastia and Angel. He made sure I understood, as to not give in to them.

Nastia from Artuma (who is fled the war from Donetsk, and has a 6 month baby) calls Sasha saying she is out of water, and do we have any.  We do, so Sasha and I drive over to Artuma to give her some water.  On the return home, there is, what appears to be fog in the air, but why, is the question?  Later in the evening, I realize that it is smoke, and it smells like burning tires, or something horrid.  Don’t know what is going on, but I hear shooting in the distance, machine guns, not big booms, but ground combat. 

8-15-14 – I’m told that RU is heading this direction with ‘humanitarian aid’, or that is what they say, as probably just a cover to bring more artillery to the separatists in Lughansk.  RU is not allowing the Red Cross to transfer the shipment into UA or their trucks, thus one must question not only their motives, but ‘what’ is in those trucks.  One would need to think, if it is all good, then what do they have to hide?  Nothing, they should gladly allow anyone to look in the trucks.  Now they are driving those trucks to the border crossing that they have control over and the trucks will cross over into UA there.  Hummm! doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this out.!

I am supposed to meet Vitally, Sergey, (Larissa’s husband) and little Nastia to go to Novghorosk to get water today.  There have been a lot of explosions from that direction, so not so sure about that today.  One never gets really used to this, but you have to continue to live, so risks are taken for the sake of one…or many in this case.

Well, 4:00 rolls around, and Vitally and Kristina show up at the gates, ready to go, so we are off.  We stop to pick up Sergey and then to Sveta’s to pick up bottles.  Sasha prays over the trip, and off we go. Go through the UA check point, and make it to Novghorosk no problems.  You never know when there will be a ‘strike’ and since this block post was once a separatist’s block post, they know EXACTLY where it is, and could try to hit it from a distance at any time.  I have no trouble getting through; it is just the whole process OF getting through.   You slowly pull up, show all your documents… get out of the car… and they look around…explain what you are doing… where you are going, then usually they wave you on. 

We arrived to the same house we got water from before.  We fill the bottles in record time only 1.5 hours, and head back to Dz. With Nastia in Artuma being our first stop.  Then Lena’s grandparents, and then off to Zabalka to off load the rest of the bottles, drop Sergey and then home to try to get the yard cut.  With only one shower a day, I must combine everything for max. efficiency.  If I’m going to cut grass, make it in the evening when I’m already hot, and it isn’t so hot outside, and I’m NOT going anywhere else…as I get really dirty when I use the weed eater.  We have no mower, just a weed eater, as there re too many stones, and the ground is too uneven for a mower.   After dropping Sergey, I go over to Sergey Shafer’s house, as he needs food.  Igor lives with him, so I give them, sugar, canned fish, gretcha, pasta and 3 large bottles of water.  Igor, who is the only one home, is very appreciative, and thanks me profusely.  Then I head home to cut grass, but not before passing the ‘water truck’ with 50+ people standing getting their water.  Well, ‘brown’ water, which is only good for flushing toilets, and boiling the heck out of it to wash dishes…Maybe bathe, but doubtful on that.   Drinking is out of the question…at least for me. People have been there most of the day waiting for this precious water.  I’m thankful for this family in Novghorosk for their generosity to give us their water, so freely and without question or complaint.  

I finally get home, and am able to complete cutting both the yards, the center and the big house.   I’m physically exhausted, but more work needs to be done before calling it ‘a day’.  I’m already hot, so might as well just continue.  Next project is to fix the motion sensor light on the house.  Security is vitally important in this crisis we are living in.   Everything needs to be working, for maximum protection.  These motion lights will deter most from coming in the yard.  I’m 20 ft. up a ladder, and the bulb doesn’t want to cooperate.  I’m alone, and if I fall, I’m quite doomed.  I just cry out, ‘in the name of Jesus, help me.’  I climb down the ladder, and try the switch, and the bulbs works!  Thank you God for divine intervention.   Off to the shower and then sleep. 

8-16-2014 – It is just HOT, there are no words about that.  Another hot night, I wake up with back pain from the day before.  When it is so hot, you just never really get restful sleep.  Tossing and turning in the heat, and then intermittent booms, you just don’t wake in the morning feeling 100% rested.   Absolutely no breeze, no way to cool off…Americans are spoiled, to say the least…A/C, clean water, access to food, water, transportation, and freedoms that I don’t know if Ukraine will ever be able to grasp.  Today, I just have to breath and rest/recover from cutting grass…I go over to the little house and try to complete the video on plum preserves.  In my boredom, I made some YouTube videos on how to make all natural juices, and the apple tree at the little house is a nice backdrop. 

I know that we have Bible study tonight, and we shall see who shows up, since swimming is contingent on Bible study attendance.   Don’t know how that will go….   Well, we ended up with only Nastia, Angel and Rada, because none of the other kids would come to Bible study.  It is terribly sad that after all this time, they are so disrespectful to Sasha and really to me, and the work we are doing…  so ungrateful.  I have often thought, ‘if I could sell everything, I would leave Ukraine’, the people don’t seem to care one way or another, and they will ‘turn on you’ when you least expect it.    Yes, I have so much invested, but we sow and sow, and do we see fruit.  What does God say about fruit…if the vine isn’t producing, cut it off, so where do we draw the line, how do we know when ‘enough is enough?’ 

8/16/14 – Wish List!

I think today is my mom’s birthday!  I always get she, my grandfather and my sister, all confused, because they are right in a row, 16, 17, 18 of August. She is 83, but extremely active, walking 3 miles every morning, cuts her own lawn, takes care of my step-father and her mind is clear…I miss my family, and this day makes me think about my mom, and what she may be doing, but I can’t call her, so I’m sending my best thoughts and prayers her direction.

I’m working on videos this a.m.  It is terribly hot.  The phone rings at 12 and it is Andrei wanting to know if some people can come over and bring sweets for the kids.  I say, ‘sure’ so I RUN and get dressed and ready for guests.  About 12:30, the big suburban pulls up; UA flag proudly waving in the wind, and to the door comes a stout, hefty man.  He introduces himself as Dr. Seva. and enters the center, and looks around, asking ‘where are the kids.’  At which I tell him that the kids don’t arrive till 2 p.m. and we will go swimming.  He asks if I will bring them over to the compound at the stadium, and I say ‘sure’.  Then he asks, ‘if I could make a wish list, what would it be?”  I’m shocked, and I ask if I can think and bring a list when I come at 3 with the kids.’  He says, ‘sure’, and so we arrange to see him at 3 at the stadium.    WISH LIST.  WOW, can you imagine!!!  Never really thought too much about that, but what an incredible thing to be asked.     

The next thing I know the men are bringing in boxes of aid.  I have no idea what is in the boxes, but later I see, cookies, cookies, cookies, candy, tea, and toiletries.  It is great stuff!!!   I’m going to try and combine it with the other stuff I received Wednesday and make larger aid bags to give away.  It is very difficult to keep all this straight, and not duplicate people, and aid.   I’m working on a way to advertise the aid, but at the same time, not draw attention to ourselves…that is a dilemma.   If you advertise, people will come from everywhere, arriving at 6 in the morning banging on the gates, demanding food.  We are systematic about the aid, with people needing documents, and trying to not give to the same people/families over and over, as there are so many people in need.  It is hard to keep track of everything, and then you run out and some aren’t served, and people get angry; you just can’t win. 

3:00 – we arrive at the stadium and the guards don’t know who we are or what we want…it takes a while for the Dr. to arrive, but finally he does, in this little range rover all-terrain vehicle painted in camo.  He tells us to climb in and he drives us around the field.  The kids find it very interesting, and fun, though I can see that they are NOT as interested as most kids would be.  They are bored and ask, ‘when they can swim?’  It is embarrassing to say the least.  Such boring children, not understanding the opportunity this is.  Vlad acts like he is 4, Rada, Olya and Artur are impatient, Nastia is the only one interested.   The men at the canteen offer them bread and they rudely refuse it, though Nastia gladly accepts.   I meet with the commander, his assistant, and the good Dr. about what kind of aid we need.  He receives my list and we go out for a photo shoot, and then drive to the gate in the range rover, and say our good-byes.  The good Dr. promises to ‘deliver’ the goods…just don’t know when.   We shall see.

Off to the swimming lake, all goes well, though Artur just can’t behave, and he can’t take his hands from people.  Vlad complains several times about Artur and his obnoxious behavior bothering everyone.  It is odd that he doesn’t see how annoying this is to ALL others.   I finally have had enough, and instruct all out of the water, and give them all cookies and milk and we leave.  Frustrating at best, though I know that they desperately need good snack foods, I just hate to make them think I’m rewarding such poor behavior.

8/17/14 – Sunday – Early morning after a HOT night.. I woke in a sweat…didn’t sleep much at all, but have a busy day, as I need to be in Artuma by 9 to pick up Nastia , mom and baby, then to Dima, and then to Ira and Vouldia, then back to the center for church.   We had 18 for church, and it was good.   Again, Sasha seems to go on to long, and I think it is more about ‘time’ for him, then content.  It is like he must ‘go’ till 11:45 or longer, or he hasn’t preached a sermon or something…people are hot, tired and want to move about…anyway, we have a great tea time, and then I return everyone home, where I go through the check point and speak with the soldiers and give them a Bible tract.   These fellows at the block posts are probably the lowest on the rank and file.  Though they are nice, they are the ‘grubby group’ and they literally sleep their in tents, using the fields as their toilet…and no shower, to say the least.  They need God too, so I give them a smile and a tract.  One never knows who you may give a tract to that it will impact and change their life. God does that…changes your life.

Back at the center, Larissa and Alena are there for Bible study, and they are singing.  2:30 Olya, Rada and Nastia and Angel show up.  Not really sure why Angel comes, as he makes more noise then baby Maxim…but he is here…  They have the study and about 3:30 after the study, Artur and Artum show up.  I inform Artur that he will NOT be swimming the next time we go, at which he proceeds to make excuses, as usual for his behavior and why he wasn’t there.  At that point, Sasha decides to give them the lecture about their disrespectful behavior towards adults, and the center.  Olya interrupts repeatedly trying to make excuses for her and her siblings behavior…typical teen, but disrespectful none-the-less.   I have decided to impose a t-shirt over the bikini rule, as the girls are showing too much flesh, well, actually Alena is showing too much flesh and allowing the boys to touch her.  Nastia’s bathing suit is very skimpy, though she is just a child.  Rada is wearing underwear and NASTIA’s TOP, so we know that is too small!   They all complain about the t-shirt, but I tell them, ‘if you go with me, you wear it, or I don’t take you.’  They really balk at this.   Way too much flesh in Ukraine, that is probably why many people are in the predicaments that they are…sex too early, babies too early, single parenthood, drinking to deal with their problems and employment.  It is a vicious cycle that they have gotten themselves into, and it is going to take a few generations to get them out, since it didn’t get this way overnight.   

4:00 and the kids want to swim.  So I agree to take them for 45 minutes, since I want to be back to be a part of our church services in U.S. via SKYPE.  Thank God for SKYPE!!   Alena , Nastia and Angel are the only ones allowed to go, as it looks like rain, but no rain yet.   Swimming is fine, and few are there…the t-shirts are fine, though Alena complains hers is ‘too big’.  What she needs to say, ‘it isn’t skin tight!’ which is what she really means anyway.  Thankful for these soccer jerseys, many have been given away (Latoya Washington), and we will use them, just have to wait for the right time, but for now, some are being used as bathing suit cover-ups…  Stopped at the ATB on the return home and was waiting for Nastia to purchase bread for her family, when I military truck comes down the street with a very nice silver car behind it.  It was a very nice sports car, but front and back windsheilds were blown out, and part of the driver side.  The front bumper was literally just hanging as it was bumping down the road.  All I can think is, ‘who was in the car?’  I wonder what happened to them, and I pray that they are o.k.

It was very loud night, and either the war has moved closer, or the lightening was VERY close, as the sky lit up till after 2 a.m.  I finally had to get up and close the window due to the noise.    I laid in bed praying as I looked at the flashes in the window rest of the night.

8/18/14 – Monday – the start of another week, and it is a beautiful 63 degrees, and windy   We still have no water, and my tank is OUT.  I’m trying to figure out how to get the other tank to fill, but can’t figure that out.   There is no way I used 800 liters in 10 days.  So that is the project for the day, to get water…otherwise, I will go the center to shower, as we have water there…

My friend, Dema Grischuk sent 3000gh for me to spend on food for people, so I will go today and get it with Igor’s mom, Natasha at the bank.  It requires a bank card, and I don’t have one, so it puts me in a situation.  Anyway, I will probably wait to purchase food till I find out when the food shipments will be here.  Andrew is sending his shipment for Wednesday, but I need to figure out a way to get it here from Khartsyzk is 70 kilometers from here, on a bad road.  The army will bring food to the center for free, so I may just let Andrew’s go, as I unfortunately can’t get to it.  I hate to lose such good food, but I do not know how to retrieve it.  

8/19/14 – Tuesday  – I have NO WATER in my tanks at all, all is gone!   No shower last night, so I will go to the center, as we have little water there to at least shower, or clean up.    The booms continued last night, and though it rained, I guess they fought through the rain.   I know that the UA army is trying to decrease civilian casualties, but in the effort to do this, they are not using as much ‘air’ strikes, thus this war is taking so long.  I can’t imagine Iraq, or Afghanistan, years of internal strife, years of living like a gypsy.  I guess there is an element of, ‘you get used to’ it, but I do not.   I like to shower, that is my thing, and I like to have clean dishes…all else is fine, I can sleep in the heat, I can go without drinking water, but bathing and eating on clean plates is important for me.  So I’m trying to figure out the next steps, if the water crisis continues, or if we see no solution in the fore seeable near future…

Story of the sports car I saw a few days ago…

Received very sad news today while speaking to a dear friend, Vanya L..  Seems his cousin Dima, his father-in-law was killed Sunday at the block post going into Nikitokov.  Dima and his 2 sons went ahead in another car to Artomovsk, fleeing the shooting in Gholorvka, and the father-in-law, his wife and her son were coming in another car.  They arrived at the block post, and shelling started, and they jumped from the car to the ditch.  The father-in-law decided that the car was too far into the block post, and felt he needed to move the vehicle back out of the way.  He ran to the car, and moved it just 3 feet, and the car was hit on the roof by a mortar, killing him instantly.     Well, come to find out, his car was the one that I saw being towed down the street, on Sunday afternoon, after swimming, while I sat at the ATB and waited for Nastia to buy bread.   Vanya said that his cousin was looking for the car, as his mother’s earthy possessions were in the vehicle.  I asked him for a description, then told him I’d seen a very sporty car being taken by the military.  He was shocked…what strange timing.  I didn’t even want to go swimming, as it was too late in the day, and I wanted to be at my church service in the U.S., so I made us leave early…timing was amazing, as Dima had no idea where the car was, or who had the car.  So now I will call Andrei and ask about this car.  The military was taking the car but I did not know where.  As the story unfolds, seems that he had in his wallet a card from being a Koysock and the check point guards held them at the check point for more questioning as they thought he was with the separatists, when he wasn’t at all, but sad none-the-same.  Dima’s father-in-law was thrown out of the car and left on the side of the road to die or was dead, while his wife was in the ditch, threw herself on her son and is in the hospital in Artomosk recovering.   Vanya was very sad at this loss of life, but truly happy that I’d seen the vehicle, and had some avenue to find it.  Now to find the car in Dzerzhinsk. 

8/20/14  –  Wednesday, no water, and we wait…Center of town has water, and Zabalka has none, but it is said to ‘be coming’ .   So we wait…….   Waiting teaches you many things, but generally speaking, I do not like to wait.    When I want something, and be it a reasonable ‘want’, I usually am able to get it, but not in this time…once the pipes are blown, it takes a while to replace or repair, and it is very dangerous for the workers, as russian snipers are everywhere, and would like no better then to ‘pick off’ a civilian.  

I was able to go into town, and look for Dima’s father-in-laws’ vehicle.  I remembered that the registration office backs up to the police impound yard, that one can’t see from the road.  So I went to that office, and went in to ‘ask a question’.   They know I always have many questions about my visa, and papers, so me being at that office isn’t odd to them, and they readily take me in and help, if they can. But today, I was on a mission to get a look in the impound yard. I needed to be in the correct office to get a good view, and as the Lord would have it, I was called to just that office. The clerk starts to talk with me, and I’m literally not looking at her, or basically looking ‘past’ her. So great when God provided a phone call to distract the woman I was talking with, and I quickly moved to the window, where I could clearly see the same vehicle that I saw being moved by the military.  I was able to do all that, without the woman seeing what I was doing.  I quickly concluded my business with the clerk, and left; as soon as I got to the car, I immediately phoned Vanya and let him know ‘where’ the vehicle was, and he was delighted to know the exact location, and said he would relay the information to Dima. 

The weather is still cool, so swimming is out of the question, we can’t cook or paint (no way to clean up),  and the kids complain a lot.  I worked on food boxes with Marina (Sasha’s wife), Larissa (mom of family of 7) , Alena (the neighbor girl) and Aloysha (orphan who we have known 10 years), and we complete 41 boxes!!   Tonight is Bible study for the kids, surprisingly we have 8 for Bible study, and one new boy.  Sasha did a good job and kids seemed interested, though we always have the usual, Olya frustrated that it takes so long, and she is hot, and uncomfortable, agitated that maybe what Sasha is preaching about may apply to her…who knows, but for being 13, she is acting more like 3. The other kids watch her, and watch us to see what we will do. Trying hard to show some compassion, we take her behavior in ‘stride’ and Sasha continues.

8/21/14 –   The day started by Alyosha calling that he had ‘found boxes’, and he had about 14 at his flat waiting for me.  For the food, we sort and repackage food into food boxes.  Boxes, are just too flimsy, and boxes are our choice for easy packing and stacking in the van for delivery.   Anyway, boxes are a HIGH commodity here, and hard to find for sure!  We had help, we had food, but no boxes to put the food in.  So I dash over to pick up Aloysha and the boxes, and then we head to the main market, looking there.  We gather another 6 and head to ATB to see what they may have, and to purchase food, catsup, mayo, and a canned vegetables.  I received a wonderful gift of 3000ghrivnas (about $120.) from a Dema G. in Kyiv, and I’m spending it on refrigerated food, when we are ready to give the boxes out.  We beg the ATB (grocery) to give us their boxes, and they finally concede with 5 boxes!  We literally could see so many useful boxes, yet they would not give to us.  We leave and are off to pick up more potatoes, onions and garlic from Andrei, as we have run out, but have all the other components of the boxes.  For being in a war, he is a very cheerful man…one time he shared with me he is a Christian, that he must have an inner peace about everything, his Savior and his eternity, if something is to happen to him; he knows where he will be.  It is such a blessing to have a man of faith in the UA military.   

Upon arriving to the compound, I asked for 1 bag of each, but he insisted that I receive 4 bags of potatoes, 3 bags of onions and 1.5 bags of garlic, and ANYTHING else I wanted.  I took some toilet paper, as we had none left for the boxes; thought that would be useful, to say the least.   Also, their cook, what a nice man, I don’t know his name, yet, but I will get it!   He is just always so happy to see me, and happy to help in any way.  Such a nice man, and never will take anything from me!    He insists on a photo with me for his phone, so I do this.  He just is a very nice person, and I can’t imagine that he is away from his own family to volunteer for this army.  Anyway, all the men are very nice and many speak English so it is a perfect set up for either English club, or Bible study.  I have given out so many bible tracts; I have had to make over 200 copies for the food boxes and the army men.   We may not be able to sit with each individual soldier or family and share Christ with them, but we can ‘plant a seed’ with these Bible tracts.

Aloysha and I return to the center to begin repackaging the potatoes, onions, and garlic.   We give Alena a call and see if she will agree to come and help.  Her grandmother went to the hospital today with chest pains, so we are worried about her, as she is really the only caregiver for Alena, but Alena says she is home and laying down resting.  Alena agrees to come and help at 2.  Lera calls and agrees to come and help too!  So we have a good group, and we can get it done.  We make 24 MORE boxes, to add to our 41, so now we have 65 food boxes to give out!  Praise the Lord, from whom all blessings flow.  We will be able to bless these people with 30 lb. boxes of food and spiritual food.   I’m really excited because Valia is supposed to return tomorrow, thus, our outreach can be bigger, as my language skills are poor, that I can’t go and visit orphans, and ‘new moms’, so I’m really excited that she is returning, plus, I miss her terribly!  The food distribution will be so much better with her input and organization, and God can be glorified, not me or anyone.  I’m not able to explain the ‘where’, ‘who’, ‘how’ of the food boxes in their language, so when we give the boxes, people think that they are from ME, personally, so it will be great to have this cleared up.  

Vanya L. called today also, letting me know that Dima did receive his father-in-laws car…sadly; it was striped of everything including the spare tire.  The people were fleeing to Artomosk, so the car was filled with their belongings, and now this man has nothing.  Dima lost his wife, (the father-in-laws daughter) 2 years ago, finding her dead on the floor from unknown causes, and now this.  He has only his 2 sons, and his mother-in-law and her son left.  It is just terribly sad, why so many people need to suffer, I say this so many times to myself, but more to the Lord, a son losing his father, wife losing her husband, mother losing her son, brother losing a brother; the list goes on, and there is no reasonable explanation.

I spend so much time alone, God has become my bouncing board for conversation. I question my purpose, and why did God have us build this community center, here, in this place, and then allow this to happen…the future is so uncertain, and quite scary; there must be a plan, one that will unfold in time, but the waiting is difficult. God almost always never just lays it all out, but shows us a bit at a time, when we can receive it, and digest it.

Random Acts of Kindness…

Chapter 16

8-10-2014 – 

The morning started out very well, though the continued lack of water is incredibly difficult.  Church was very good, and encouraging.  It is great to come weekly set aside some time to come together to encourage one another, in a not so encouraging environment. One focus was how to help our church members, and how to channel help to the community.  Looking at ‘what’ we were able to do, we decided to pool our 6-liter containers, and any other water container, and drive to Novghorosk to fill and distribute to the community.   After a wonderful compote and bounty of fruit for a light lunch, we gathered all our bottles and left for Novghorosk.   Arriving at a home, Sasha talked with the bespectible  owner, it seemed as though he knew him, the man graciously told us to ‘help yourself’.  We had 73 – 6 liter containers, and 22 – 1 ½ liter containers, and a few odds and ends.  The process lasted about 1 ½ hours, relatively quickly for the number of containers we had.  We drove back to Dz., going back through the same check point that we drove through on the way.  The UA army men were respectful and polite, though official; such a different scenario from the previous regime that held that same checkpoint.  We arrive back to Dz. and start distribution.  People were very thankful, and profusely told us.  We used this opportunity to minister to them, explaining that we used our God given resources to benefit the most, and that God loves them and desires a relationship with them.   Everyone listened, and Nastia’s mother has requested times and places for worship!  Exciting!!  

RAK (Random Acts of Kindness) goes sideways: 

You’re thinking way too much like an American, if you think that help is always wanted and embraced.   Today was such an occasion. During church this morning. Ira, mentioned that my old house in Seravna (North) district was hit by a bomb.  When I first started this work in UA, we were in a different location across town.  As our work became more intense with orphans and shelter children, we decided to move closer to the area that is home to these groups.  The internot (where orphan school age children live and attend school) and the orphan shelter (temporary housing for orphans), is just a few blocks from one another, but fairly far from the Servana district.  Seems the separatists are still shooting in the direction of Dzerzhinsk, and they can only reach the Servna/Artema district.  Unfortunately people in that area think that the UA army is doing this shelling, ‘why’ they think that can only represent what they hear on the T.V. propaganda news.   So, today,  during water deliveries, we were in that area, and I wanted to go by and check with my former neighbor, Andrei to see if he needed anything.   Andrei has always been very nice to me, and for years he kept an eye on our adjoining house, when I was in the states.  He is a Christian, miner, and a strong family man, with 3 daughters.  Years ago, Sveta, his (former) wife, left him, leaving him to single parent the girls.  I always tried to give the girls something special from the aide when I would come for a visit, as he didn’t have much in the way of ‘extra’ money to spend on them.  So, when I heard that ‘our’ house (the house is a duplex, he on one side, us on the other) had been hit, I wanted to make every effort to help him.  Sasha and I had completed our ‘water’ run, and we were on the way to the Servana house, when I saw a man in the road with a motorcycle nearby. My thinking was, he needs help…we have at the very least water to wash his serious wounds. I pulled over and Sasha jumped out to assist. I got the water, and he took it over to help, I pretty much stayed out of the way. About 10 minutes passed, and his knee had a serious puncture wound and would not stop bleeding. I have a first aid bag (thank you Judy Henderson) in the car, so I grabbed it looking for gauze, when the man made a comment at me about being an American. I never said a word, nor could we figure out how he figured it out, but he stood up, threw the jug of water to the ground, and started to come at me, when his knee gave way. He threaten to kill me, and said that ‘I’, an American started this war’. Calling me several horrible names, along with our government, he cursed me over and over. His daughter (about 11) who was on her bike (so it seems maybe they live close by), kept saying, ‘Papa, she is a good lady, she is trying to help you…she isn’t doing anything to you but give you water, and help.’ He yelled at her, telling her to ‘shut-up’, but she repeated it again, when he called me more bad names. Sasha all the while is trying to calm him, though he is yelling very loudly. Sasha told me to get in the van and be ready to leave. He tried to calm the man, but he wasn’t going to calm. Sasha desperately tried to stop the bleeding of his knee, but he was too agitated and though yelling at me, ‘thanked’ Sasha for stopping, at which Sasha replied, ‘it was my friend (me), who insisted we stop and help you.’ It was all sort of amazing, yet sad, because he couldn’t discount the fact that I stopped to help him, but I represented a government that he believes caused this war. I can only assume, he was trying to wrap his mind around all that, but couldn’t do it. Additionally, I predict he was in shock, from the injuries of the accident. And lastly, I think he was pretty upset with himself, as he wrecked his motorbike, scattering his cell phone in pieces across the road. I discreetly shot photos prior to the outburst, he didn’t know or see me doing it, so that wasn’t the issue either… I was thankful I could leave with my life, as sadly, RAK takes a sharp 180…

It wasn’t her time yet…

Chapter 15

8-9-14 –  Everyday I’ve been taking the kids to the lake.  It is refreshing for them, though personally, I will not go in that water.  It is disgustingly dirty, I have no idea ‘where’ that water comes from, what runs off in it, and what people are doing in it, but the kids are fine with it.  There are no areas where you can see ‘bottom’, and that is one thing I was taught, don’t swim where you can’t see some bottom. Though we contemplated not going today due to it being Saturday thinking it would be crowded, today was like any other; about 40 random people, a mixture of young and old, enjoying the lake on a 90 degree + day.  Kids were frolicking in the water and working on their swimming skills. 

About 4:00 a group of gypsies arrived.  They placed their blanket about 10 feet from me.  There were 7 adults, and 11 children, several under the age of 5.  The kids immediately wanted to go in the water, as kids would have…and the adults went in with the little ones.  After about 30 minutes the adults emerged from the water, and started to prepare their picnic, pulling 2 benches together working on both sides of the bench, with some working towards the water, others their backs to the water.  I was busy watching our kids, Nastia, Angel, Artur and Rada can’t swim, so I keep a close eye on them.  Never far from my mind is the death of my friend Oleg Shafer, just 21 and he knew how to swim…so here I am with other people’s kids, I’m going to be extra careful to watch them…

The gypsies aren’t watching their kids, and I remember they had one little girl, Erica (they called her name several times), blonde and blue eyed, about 14-15 months old.  All of a sudden the patriarch of the family says, ‘Erica, Erica.’ and goes running towards the water…the child is floating face down in the water.    He snags her from the water, flips her limp body over, and started smacking her on the back…I so much wanted to get up and help them, as they did not have the child at the right angle to get the water out of her lungs.  She didn’t respond.  He just kept smacking her, and finally, she threw up a lot of water.  Looking at them, she still did not respond to them…they brought her over to the blanket area, and held her upright…not a good idea, and she was limp and did not respond.  She appeared to be in shock, and could not breath…they turned her over and smacked her again and again on the back and she threw up again, and this time, she started to cry, …good sign…though they accomplished it in a very odd way, it worked.! I wanted to help, but did not, I just silently prayed for that child, that she would survive this ordeal.  The grandfather was extremely upset that no one seemed to be watching the children, and he verbally scolded all the adults.  They were well ‘shamed’ for their lack of attention to the little ones in the water…but for today, it wasn’t Erica’s day to go to the Father. 

Learn to read Russian:

Chapter 14

8/6/2014

I decided yesterday to purchase some white-wash and finish the summer kitchen at the little house.  It would really make it look better, not that anyone sees its, but all the same, house maintenance.  I stopped at the home store and purchased what I thought was ‘paint’.  well, about burned my hands off…I THOUGHT I bought more chalk paint to finish the house garage, instead I think I bought some kind of remover, containing acid.  Interestingly, I mix this stuff with my hands, and last time I did it, it was really difficult to get off my hands, so this time, I decide to wear gloves…thank GOD, really, truly, God must have put that memory in my head…as I poured the stuff into the water, and started to stir and stir, because I had gloves on, I didn’t know that it was getting hotter…I could still feel lumps in it, so I decided to stick my hands in and mix, like I usually do.  Stuck one hand in and it was like BOILING water, and immediately pulled it out, but by then it was a boiling liquid…I grabbed the bucket handle and threw it in the grass, thinking that I was going to have some chemical explosion.!!   I immediately started rinsing my gloved hand, and throwing water on the steaming mess on the ground, it was totally weird…but I came to the conclusion it was a ‘remover’ for chalk paint, instead of the paint..I’m so thankful God prompted me to wear gloves. 

With no ‘white-wash’ to complete painting the garage, my attention turned to ‘fruit’ to make juice.   Juice is now doubled in price, so I’m taking advantage of the fruit we have and making my own!!    I have apples, plums, purple grapes, green grapes.  This is all a new adventure, but since we have such an abundance of fruit, I thought I could figure out some way to make juice.  I boiled grapes before leaving for the lake for afternoon swimming.  I will put them through the grinder and then working on apples, when I return.

The kids are enjoying going to ‘the lake’, but only Aloysha can swim.  I decided, if they go to the lake, then they must learn to swim.  The best way for me, is to find Russian speaking youtubes on ‘basic swimming’.  Everyday that they want to swim, is everyday they watch a video.  Once arriving at the lake, they must spend the first 20-30 minutes practicing what they learned.  Kids came at 2 and we watched a video on swimming.   Yesterday, Rada and Artur REFUSED to stay for Bible class, and I told them that they would not be allowed to swim the next day (today), if they left.  They left, and I told them, ‘you will not go tomorrow.’    But, here they show up, thinking I was going to allow them to go swimming.  I told them, ‘NO’, and Rada stomped out, and slammed the door.   About 20 minutes later and their mother calls asking why they can’t go… and apologizes for them.  Like that is supposed to do anything for me!!!   It really upsets me that this mother won’t allow them to reap their consequences.   So she pleads and pleads, it is totally ridiculous to say the least, Olya is desperately trying to explain that they were disrespectful and that this is the consequences.     She isn’t ‘hearing’ me at all, and she doesn’t seem to understand why I can’t bend the rules for her kids!!!.     The conversation ends, and about 10 minutes later, they both show up, Artur and Rada!   Rada appears to have been crying, and comes in and immediately apologizes for her behavior, Artur, as usual says nothing…just like he is so innocent.     I told them ‘NO MORE CHANCES, LISTEN TO ME< OR YOU WILL NOT GO WITH US AGAIN…   COME TO BIBLE STUDY< OR YOU WILL NOT GO AGAIN.!    They seemed to get that I really meant business here, and I wasn’t going to take this anymore!      So after watching the videos, we were off to the lake for swimming…    They both were MUCH better, and thanked me profusely for allowing them to join us.  I dropped them all off at home, and returned to the center, to try to make the juice.

Well, we have no internet…which means, no talking to the family today.  I guess I will cook/bake,  glad I had looked at my juice recipes before we lost the internet.   One has to plan that when you leave your house, you may lose power, or water while you are gone…so, you always have the dishes done, toilets flushed, etc.   I usually try to write the family in the a.m. so that they know how the day is going…and then if I lost internet, they will at least know what was going on prior to that.   The things you have to think about when you live in a war zone.   I used to leave the house with everything…documents, computers, change of clothing, etc.  It was terrible to go out, very difficult, but now since the army is here, I do feel better, but still, everything is packed, and I can be out of the house in about 10 minutes, if need be.  This is not a way to live!

8:27 p.m.  is the precise time it started to RAIN, we desperately need rain!!!  And this is the first rain we have had in probably 3 weeks, maybe longer!!!   The ground is terribly cracked, and the gardens are burning up.    Please let it rain and rain!!!  

9:05 p.m.  still raining!!! And still no internet…..

9:15 p.m.  the rain has slowed to a drizzle;  like a faucet, it seemed to turn on full blast, and then just STOP.   Praying that it may start again, it would be perfect to drizzle all night…and saturate the ground.    But I’m thankful all the same to this rain we had.  God knows our needs, every one of them.  He is in control.  There have been so many times, that I have questioned, and then later, we see the reasons why things happened that way that they did, or plans changed, whatever the reasons…it always come to light.  God never fails us. 

Tried to watch the T.V tonight, thinking that maybe some channels were freed up…well, no internet, no T.V., which may be a good thing, since so many people believe the lies they are playing on the very few channels we have;  I have never seen so much junk on T.V.  they basically have 5 types of shows.  T.V. consists of cartoons, news propaganda, soap operas, old movies, and music T.V.  That’s it!  News is the most obvious, and do they have a lot of news, and BAD news at that, incorrect news.   News showing old war footage, some not even in  UA at all, but putting captions on it like it is happening today!  People believe that junk, it is like, ‘where is your brain??   Cartoons are just STUPID, can you imagine 24 hours of that type of stupid stuff.    Music T.V. is nothing but SEX, beauty and emptiness, unfortunately, SEX SELLS!!!   That is the same with ‘soap opera’s’, sex, and do they have sex, all over the T.V.  just like, WOW, shut that junk OFF!!!   I just think about what kids minds are being filled with!!  So no T.V. and no internet…. Hummm…so time to try and get some rest.

Woke up at 3:15 a.m., it is hot in the house.  I sleep with the windows closed and locked, because there have been incidents where people have been kidnapped from their homes.  Since I’m the last American here, I can’t take any chances on this.   I must be very careful.   I’m so exhausted by the time I go to bed, I sleep soundly, and though I haven’t had ANY problems so far, I don’t want to ‘test’ the situation.  Granted the dogs go crazy when there are people on the street, but again, I might not hear them.   Anyway, it was hot, so I lay there trying to find a cool spot on the sheets.  Finally dozed back off….

Got up this a.m. with family on my mind.  I so miss them, and wish there was a way for us all to be together.   The cost of living here is so cheap, it pays to live here, but then there is the fear factor, and language factor.   Plus, some of my family members don’t want to live here,  the U.S. is quite comfortable.  It all goes with the lifestyle in the U.S., it isn’t just them, many people stand under the same umbrella.  When you put criteria on service to others, it seems to take the element of God from it, and becomes your own mission.  Many times God is unpredictable, unplanned, service just happens before your eyes, and you step in and serve the need before you.  One has to be looking, intentional and attuned to needs, and not just be duped into helping, when there is no need but manipulation.  And, you have to get out of your comfort zone.  Service isn’t always comfortable.  It is hot, tiring, expensive, dirty, stressful, sacrificial.  Many people haven’t ventured outside of their comfort circle.  Traveling is scary to them, and would require great sacrifice, which they aren’t ready to give up.  In the meantime, their time and many times money, will be spent on restaurants, movies, Disney and frivolous things for themselves.  Maybe one day they will see that those things really don’t matter to God and that God never put His own comfort before the comfort of others.   

8/8/14 – so we still have no internet at 12:10 pm, still no getting it on the horizon, seems that a tower was hit, so who knows when we may get internet again.   Could be an hour, or a week.  ~~

Miraculous!  Internet returns late afternoon!!  Yeah!!!   Thank you Jesus!!

Andrei (Commander of the local battalion) calls me around 3, asking if we are at the Center.  I have the kids at the lake today, still trying to get through this 95 degree+ heat.  He says that they have some ‘presents for the kids and wanted to bring them by, and what time is good?’  I reply that we will return by 5, as we have Bible study in the evening.   The kids are excited wondering who our guests will be…I keep it all a secret, to just intrigue them!   We swim a bit longer, and then gather our things and leave at 4:30, with plenty of time to return to the center, and tidy up a bit before they arrive at 5.  5:20 comes, and they still are not at the center, so I text Andrei to let him know we are back and that the kids are excited to meet ‘their guests’.

Within 10 minutes of my text, a large army jeep arrives with 6 men.  They are fully armored and suited as professional soldiers.  I meet them in the yard, and they pull through the gates.  They unload and start to carry boxes in the center.  One by one, they bring 10 boxes of various sizes.  We don’t open the items then, the kids want to meet them and see their equipment.  Despite the reality of the situation, it was all very exciting for the kids, and some of them even held the guns.   The men were all VERY nice, and several spoke English.  One, in particular shared that he lived in Ireland for 4 years, and he has returned to UA to help his countrymen.   He mentioned that he is a Christian, so I offered him a Bible, which he gladly received, saying that when he came to UA, his space was very limited on what he could bring.  Unfortunately his Bible didn’t make the ‘cut’.  He was very happy to have a complete Bible.  I was so happy that I could give this precious gift to him.   I would really like to invite them to join us for church, but with church members, Volodia and Ira’s opinions about the war, it may be best not to open that ‘can of worms.’   These church members, though sweet friends, believe that UA is at fault, and that RU isn’t even involved in this war at all, that it is all just small groups of men that don’t want the EU (which they don’t want the EU) in Ukraine.  It just seems so odd to me that people think this way, as when the DPR were in Dz., the DPR did NOTHING for the community, with exception to ‘taking’…they didn’t offer any help, food, water, nothing to the community people, or displaced people.  It was obvious, at best, that they had no interest in any relations with the locals.  They were only after a ‘land grab.’     The UA army men, quite the contrary, have been nothing but generous, offering help in any way. 

After unloading all the aid, the soldiers insisted on photos with the kids, and it was all a lot of fun, they were a very good group of men to have at the center to represent the UA army.  We prayed in a circle with them before they left.  They brought wonderful gifts, of: soaps, shampoo, toothpaste, toilet tissue, napkins, cleaning supplies, cookies, and a box of beautiful fall jackets for our young teen girls.  They left, and we continued our Bible study, and later had more conversation with the kids about the soldiers and their job, ending with how we need to respect them, as they are our physical protectors. 

On My Soapbox

Chapter 13

I have been reflecting today on my time here…purpose, God’s presence, and the future.  I know for now, I’m supposed to be here, as hard as that is as I miss Laila and Madden, I miss the rest of the family…I don’t miss the fighting, I don’t miss the conflict, and I don’t miss the gluttony of Americans.  The sheer self absorbed culture we live in…where ‘things’ are more important than people…self is more important than others…our own agenda is more important than the suffering of those around us.  I’m not talking about enabling people, but there are people in need, and we completely ignore them, as we run to get our manicure, have a business lunch, fill our time and space with things that have no eternal consequence, just FLUFF.  I call it ‘cotton candy’.  So many make the excuse, that these activities ‘build eternal bridges’, oh that is such a great justification…imagine that I must go OUT to lunch with someone, instead of having them in my home…  which would you like??   I still remember Belinda Curtis (the wife of our former pastor, he is still a pastor, just in a different state))) talking about making it a priority to have someone in her home EVERY Sunday lunch.  That was a priority for their family.  I still remember being one of those families, one Sunday.    She had prepared a lovely lunch, at a fraction of the cost of eating out, and we spent a wonderful time fellowshipping at she and Tim’s home.  Not rushed by someone needing ‘our table.’ and the kids would play in the other room, while the adults talked about ‘life’.    We just don’t do that anymore…we are just too busy with…what?  fill in your blank ___________.   I hear pastors teach about, ‘what fills our time’, yet I see them, just the same, running to have a ‘6 buck’ (Starbucks), or a ‘business lunch’ to ‘minister to people’.  What about, ‘let’s meet at the park and bring your sandwich and thermos of coffee?’  Let’s save that $6. And give to the poor, give to a mission…but don’t spend it on ourselves…it is just too much.  And that lunch, ‘pack a sandwich and meet at the park…it’s free’, and the fresh air will do you some good.!    How about a ‘new leaf’…Sunday lunch at HOME and invite another family to join you.  The problem is that everyone thinks it needs to be a 4-course gourmet’ meal…  what about soup and salad; or just salad.  How many of us NEED TO reduce our ‘size’, and why not do it in the name of ministry???   WOW, new thought there…  Reduce our food consumption, and give the savings to a ministry …  there are many good ones.  And I HIGHLY recommend a ministry that works with people, NOT animals…People need help before animals, that is what the Bible teaches…regardless of what ‘we’ feel.   People always ‘trump’ animals.    I’ll step down off my soap-box now~~ Thanks Belinda for setting the example for all minister wives…Rest in Peace, my friend

Back to reality…

8/5/14 – Took the kids to the lake today, after dropping them off, I returned to the house.  Was making dinner, when I see a BUS in front of the center, at which I immediately think that I have parked my van too far in the road and the bus can’t get by.  I grab my keys and start to go to the center, and when I get to the gate, I see, ‘soldiers’, or what appear to be soldiers.  My adrenaline shoots through the roof.  I immediately get distressed, thinking… separatists have invaded, as I did hear frequent booms earlier in the day.   Plus, Andrei had told me many times, the separatist even dress as soldiers to fool people.  So I slow my ‘gait’ down considerably, and frantically call Andrei, praying he picks up the phone, at which he does, but says that he can’t talk as he is in a meeting.  I say, ‘but there are men at the gate, I don’t know who they are or what they want…’ The men at the gate are 2, but I can see to my right there are about 20 others just steps away, and I can see others to the left.  The 2 men at the gate are telling me to ‘shut off my phone’… ‘put down my phone.’ …  ‘turn off my phone.’   I frantically explain this to Andrei…   Then I get to the gate, and the man with a machine gun, is demanding me to ‘open the gate.’  I open the gate, and hand him the phone…he says, ‘yes sir, yes, sir, yes sir, yes, commander.’   Then hands me the phone and says (in English), ‘its o.k. you are fine.’’   At that point I was physically shaking, and the 2nd man touched my arm and said, ‘it’s o.k..’  Then the first man, said, ‘so this is the children’s center? ‘  I said, ‘yes, would you like to come inside?’   He said, ‘I can’t now, but are you Baptists?’  I said, ‘no, just Christians,’ and then he said, ‘me too, I’m a Christian too, sister.’   He kindly smiled at me, and then I knew all would be fine.   He asked me some questions about ‘people’ on the street, criminals, etc.  and I answered, and he immediately sent a squad back over to the ‘mayor’s house.  (The ‘mayor’, as we call him, is our next door neighbor who makes and sells vodka.) We talked for a few minutes, and then other men came and went, listening to my voice, and asking me questions about ‘where I was from…why I’m here.’ All spoke in english.   I then took my chance to run home and get my Bible tracts.  I returned and gave them to the team commander, and he looked at them, and handed them to 2 of the other fellows, and said, ‘you need this.’   It was funny!     So they patrolled the street talking to all the neighbors, and are seeking separatists, hiding in people’s houses.   I hope they flushed some out!!!     Though this encounter began very scary, it ended well, and I thanked God for the relationships, and I continue to pray for their safety and success over this terrible, unjust war….all for the sake of one…

Mobbed by the Masses

Chapter 12

8/4/2014  

With the gift of the food, brings the responsibility to GET IT TO THE PEOPLE.   After asking church members to assist and not getting a very positive response, I decided to take matters into my own hands, and I KNEW where we could help some people.  After taking the kids to the lake, took them all home, with exception to Alena, as she has helped me in the past, and is a good helper.   Alena is 13, lost her mom 2 summers ago, to probably cancer.  She is in dire need of a mother figure, and though we are friends, I try to keep my perspective on all this.  She lives with her grandmother, as her father has never recovered from the loss of his wife, Alena’s mother, and mostly comforts himself with ‘alcohol’ most of the day. He is a ‘gravedigger’, yes, they dig graves by hand, and most likely, he dug the grave for his deceased wife. The irony of all that is a bit much, but this is reality. I ask if she has the time to help me, and she gladly helps, I think if nothing else for the positive interaction with an adult.  The food boxes are loaded in the van and ready for distribution, so we are off to give food away!!!    IT is always an exciting time to bless someone, brings good cheer to ones heart, not for our glory, but for the glory to God. We are only conduits for Him. We know our ‘calling’, we know our purpose.

I decide that we will go to an area that is full of gypsies, a.k.a. ‘gypsyland’.  God put this on my heart, as they are a somewhat neglected group of people. Gypsies have large families, many children, and are in great need.  The problem is, is that if you aren’t careful, while you are helping them, they are ‘helping themselves’ to everything in your car!  They are quite good at manipulation, and distraction, and though I’m aware of this, I only have 2 eyes, and Alena!   We look for groups of people, and see a group, and turn to the right, slowly heading down the dirty, dusty road…and then I see, oh my goodness, like 50 people come pouring out of this covered area, and start running towards the van.  We are now stopped in the road, surrounded by children and adults.   I get out, and 2 of the woman recognize me, though I think I only know one of them, but I’m not completely sure.  We are being MOBBED to say the least.  They are screaming and yelling at me, ‘’what do you have for me….give me, give me, give me..’’ they are yelling.   I get to the rear of the van and raise my hands to quiet them, and Alena is able to speak and say what we are doing and what we have.  I immediately realize that we don’t have all the boxes, and some are still at the center because we ran out of room, but we don’t have enough for this large crown, though we do have some, and some clothing.  So, we give what we can, and say that we will return in 30 minutes.  They are screaming and yelling, it was scary for me, I’m sure for Alena too.  One of the woman who I thought I recognized, walked over and said, ‘you are Teresa, I know you, you have helped me before, thank you so much for remembering us.’   I told her, ‘you are very welcome, and I will be back in 30 minutes. ‘   She kindly smiled at me.  A kind face in the storm, thank you God!!

Alena and I dash back to the center, and retrieve the remaining boxes, and grab several shorts and dresses made by our friends at Lone Oak Church of Christ.  Wish we had more baby clothing, but we have nothing for babies.  The people are VERY desperate, and I know when I return, it will be ‘survival of the fittest’…it is scary with those grannies…they just get up in your face, and DEMAND that you give to them.   Like you owe them something, instead of YOU choosing to give…there seems to be a hierarchy and some DEMAND the attention, even though I ignored them…and gave to those more quiet in the rear of the pack.    We returned to the house, and they were all on the road waiting….Alena and I held hands and said a quick prayer and we were out the doors and MOBBED again.  We could not even get to the back of the van to hand out the things… yelling, screaming, pushing!!  Finally, we gained some control, and was able to unload the boxes, to grannies ‘screaming in my face’, about how ‘THEY DESERVE’ the boxes before anyone else.   I was able to make my way back to the quiet ladies in the rear, holding babies, and gave them 2 boxes, all the while, probably being cursed at by the grannies~~ but it is fine, it just floats off my back.  God is greater than all this.!   The children are thrilled to have clothing, many are literally naked, or only have underpants on, and most are absolutely filthy from head to toe.  It is sad to see the lack of care of these little helpless ones.     We are able to get the items distributed, and some photos before Alena motions me to ‘get in the van’, seems someone said something to her, and it was time for us to EXIT, still don’t know what was said, but either, we needed to ‘get out’, or they said something impolite to her.   Alena and I get back to the center, and thank God for this time of sharing the love of Jesus with others, even if it was difficult.  I am thankful for the food, and we now have only a few items left, not much to make up bags, but still some ‘odds and ends’ to distribute.  Maybe tomorrow, but as the night ascends on us, the booms are getting more frequent, so I don’t know what tomorrow brings.   Good night.

8/5/14 –  9: 00 a.m. – Bombs continued throughout the night, and they seem to be closer .   As the morning progressed, I could hear the plane(s) and…wow, had an air strike in Dzerzhinsk, could hear it… ugh…I hope they have not invaded us again!    Ukraine must hold on to Dzerzhinsk.  I pray over the day, and know God is in control.  I have a full day planned, as I’m going to try to get over to the little house house and complete my work over there, of sanding and spot touch up painting on the house. 

12:25, returned from the house and completed all work; the booms continue but now (thank the Lord), they are in the distance.   ‘What’ distance is ‘what’ is in question, as my friends in Ghorlovka, Lena and her mother, Ludmilla (in Gorlovka) are writing me now, texting that they are in the cellar and to pray for them, as Ghorlovka is being bombed.  I have invited them to come here and stay, but they can’t leave the shelter of the cellar…too dangerous.   I stop and pray for them.  Ludmilla’s husband Eugenia is a pastor in Ghorlovka, they are both wonderful servants, and have a congregation of about 225, now down to 150.  They hang on for their congregation, and refuse to leave.  I assure them and I’m fine, and that my ‘door is open to them or anyone they know…and that I’m praying for them.’ Their 2 daughters, and their families also live in Ghorlovka.  After praying for this family and their congregation, I decide to bake for the soldiers, as while I was at the other house painting, I was able to pick zucchini.  The men haven’t figured out what the ‘green’ stuff is in the muffins, but they like them, and that is all that matters.   When I’m totally bored, but need to stay busy, I bake zucchini muffins, as we have an over abundance of the vegetable, and it makes great muffins.  I have probably baked 1000 muffins and given to neighbors and of course UA soldiers. 

New Friends

July 26, 2014 – I realized that I must keep my ‘new friends’ a secret, as they are well hidden at the stadium, and RU can’t find out this information, or they will be targeted, along with the rest of Dzerzhinsk.   Still no internet at the house, thus I sit many nights at the center talking with the family.   Tonight was especially scary, as I could hear in the distance helicopter(s).  Nightly I hear them, they seem to be circling Dzerzhinsk, looking for movement at night since we continue under a dusk to dawn curfew, people should not be out on the streets, this is when the separatists take their chance to advance or invade.   I can hear in the distance machine gun fire, though it isn’t uncommon to hear this throughout the night.  But tonight the helicopter seems closer, so curiosity got the better of me.   I’m sitting at the downstairs window looking out towards the volleyball court, so if the motion sensor lights flip on, I can see what is ‘out there’.  I see on the frame of the window, very bright lights, too bright to be the flood light from the house, and directionally incorrect to be the flood light on the center.  I stand up to look out the window, and ‘oh my goodness’, the helicopter is literally over the top of Zabalka, about a block away, and they have their huge lights pointed to the ground.  I hear machine guns just blocks away.   I could hear the copter getting closer to the center, and it hovered over my house with their lights pointing at the open space, which was the volleyball court behind the house, but next to the center.  Their lights were directly in the windows of the center, I hit the floor  slapping my laptop closed, and lay there behind the radiator, that was as far as I could go, as their lights were too close, and they were probably looking for movement.  I KNOW they would not intentionally hurt me, but in an effort to stop separatists, they could shoot, if they saw me standing at the window, as a threat of any kind.   Earlier, they obviously WERE shooting at something, as I have been hearing the gunfire.      They finally moved on, and I took my chance to run home, must hurry.   The rest of the night was on and off gunfire, but no more helicopters.   I lay in bed most of the night just tossing and turning, and thinking about the events earlier in the evening.  Adrealine racing, my mind is scattered, but I’m able to utter thanks to God for continued protection.

July 30, 2014 – received a call today from Andrei asking if we needed food to distribute to the community.  I said, ‘sure!!’  So he and 7 of his men brought over about 1000 kilos of food:  Egg powder, milk, sugar, pasta, kasha, rice, cookies, condensed milk, gretcha, yellow peas, candy and another grain, (not sure what it is called).  Much of it was in huge bags, and I would need to separate it to smaller bags for distribution.   We stood and talked a while, and they took a tour of the center.  I invited them to come anytime they would like for some rest and ping-pong, basketball, volleyball.  Granted, I realize that this is a war, not summer camp, but they needed some ‘down time’.  The men were all very nice, and we took some photos.  The neighbors were getting an EYE full, that is for sure…But, the food will be a great ministry tool, so we are very thankful, and thankful for this new friend, and that we could minister to the men also.   Unfortunately, there were NO children today, due to the booms in the community, they all stayed home…but it was probably best, though the men wanted to see the kids.   ~~  After the men left, I set to work to start dividing the large bags of food…It was going to be a task alone to do this, sure miss Angela (((((.   Anyway, I got 4 bags ready and went to the neighbors, and gave out food for 12, the first night.  Thank you Lord for this ministry of food.!!   My back is just killing me, and I must get a shower, some meds, lay down…and sleep.… 

July 31, 2014 – Receiving this gift of food from the UA army was wonderful, but now I must repackage the food for distribution.  Several 100 kilo bags of rice, sugar, grains, and more will feed so many people; but it is labor intensive, so I must ask the kids to help me.  Spent most of the day packing food into 2k smaller bags. Fellow sister in Christ, and neighbor, Larissa came and helped, along with a few of the older kids.  We have enough food for about 25 families, with about 1-3 kilos of each product in each box.  I collected boxes when I went to get the plastic bags, so that we could put the food in boxes, the bags are really thin and the less handling the better.    I let the kids know that we were blessed, and that if they knew of families that needed to please let me know.    Olya and Rada brought 2 families.  Larissa knew of 2, then we went to other families in the neighborhood and gave them boxes of food.  They were all so surprised and thankful; we in turn thank the soldiers and gave glory to God for this divine meeting. 

8/1/14 – Due to the events of the 21st. I never was able to complete the painting of the house.  I needed to finish my painting work, but with my new ‘friends’, and  their ‘gift’ of food, this was keeping me busy.  Today I decided to work on painting the little house, it needed it, and looked pretty rough.  Was able to get the exterior 3-side completed, and it looks great!  Despite the booms most of the day, children came to Bible study, and we had 3.  Sasha stayed, and we decided to deliver a few boxes of food in his area.   Sasha went along with me, as he was familiar with the families that needed food.  It is always a blessing to bless others.  To see their unexpected joy must bring happiness to the Father! 

8/3/14 – Sunday – church today we had 14, 3 visitors, Dima Chorna, Dasha (a friend of Nastia’s), and Vlad, an orphan coming for food.   Artur brought him, and was so silly throughout the service, he finally left, but Vlad stayed.   After services, we had tea and muffins.  I made zucchini muffins yesterday and sure glad I did, because we have not had power since about 3 a.m.   Don’t know what is going on…but hope it returns.    After tea, Ira and Sasha helped me pack food bags, and Ira, Dima and I left for the Servna (north) district of Dzerzhinsk for food delivery.   Stopped off at 3 houses, and then dropped them off at home.  What a great day, then I took the kids to the lake to swim.  Seems there is a lake basically in the middle of town across the street from the Lenin Hospital.  I have lived or visited Dz. for 16 years, and never knew this ‘lake’ was here.  It appears to be ‘man made’, but the kids enjoy it, and it is free,..so free is good, and it gives the kids something to do.   

Fruitful Encounter

Chapter 11

July 25, 2014 Since July 21, when Dzerzhinsk was taken back by Ukraine and the DPR was removed from our town, I have been seeing UA army men all over the city.  I don’t want to be intimidated by them, I want to HELP them, since our U.S. government is a sham, to say the least.  It is a sick joke their threats to RU while UA people are slaughtered.  The army doesn’t have equipment, to fight off the Goliath of RU.  So, today was an interesting encounter.  God’s timing and my hearing and obeying was key to this situation. 

I continue to be in awe of how God works things out.  I needed to make a couple of stops today, get paint at the home store, some gas, talk to Yelena (a friend and translator), and exchange a ripped in half 20 gh.  So the path I took was nothing planned, just the timing was what was important, had I taken a different path, different route, things would not have unfolded at they did.  So first stop to the Home Store.  As I passed the Route 20, gas station, all seemed normal.  Got to the home store, and bought more house paint, and some screws to fix some molding.  As a left, passing the Route 20, I noticed that there were 4 military men at the station, 2 at each opening, and cars blocking the entrance.  Hummm, I wonder what is going on, but I had no time, I needed to get to the bank, and talked to Yelena, who said she would ask the bank director about ‘what’ was going on at the Route 20, as she is friends with the owner.   They didn’t have a response.  I get the 20gh exchanged for a new one, and go back out to the van, where, I see 2 vans approaching, and I see guns sticking out the windows, and UA flags flying.   To say the least, I’m concerned…and then they pull off, literally 200 meters from me.  One man dressed in a local police uniform jumps out and heads to the ATB, the local grocery.   So I decided to just SIT in the van, pretending to wait on ‘someone’, but more interested to see ‘what’ is going on.   I text Yelena and let her know what is going on, so she can ask and see if anyone in the bank knows what is going on.    She responses, with no one knows anything~~ So about 5 minutes pass, and 2 more truck loads of men come up the road and join in the line of vehicles.  I decide to get a better look, so I drove up to the ATB parking, which was in front of the vehicles, and then I was able to look back and see what was happening.  Just as I passed the policemen came up from the ATB and got in the van.  I was able to see them pass, but nothing unusual.  

These Ukrainian soldiers are new to our town, as we have been DPR occupied for the last 4 months.  My curiousity is getting the best of me, as I would really like to ‘do something’ and be of some sort of help to the UA military.  I wait an few minutes and decide to drive past the police station, maybe something over there…but nothing over there…nothing out of the ordinary, people standing out front, no unusual vehicles, and none of the vans of soldiers.    I knew that there were military men at the stadium, as Yelena’s mom lives across the street from the stadium, and she had told me that some army men were staying there.  So I decided to do a ‘drive by’ and see if I could see anything.    As I slowly go past the stadium, all is very usual…then I see on the side of the road 4 military men.  There is a bus in front of me that stops literally just past the men, thus my van is stopped for the bus, and the 4 men are directly on my right.   This is my God opportunity, this is my chance, so I look out the window, and one of the men and I catch an eye, and I smile at him and give him the ‘thumbs up.’  He smiles back and gives me the ‘thumbs up’.   The bus moves, and I need to move, so I move forward, and I see the men cross the street behind me.    I think, I have planted the seed in this man’s head…and he responded in a friendly way…so I ‘whip’ into the old sports club parking lot and turn around, back down the street, I see the men at a little kiosk.  I pull to the side of the road, and the one that smiled at me, saw me and I motioned him to the car.  I tried to explain in my poor Russian, that I would like to help the UA army in any way.  He raised his eye brow, and motioned over another man and said something to him, they both moved closer to the car, and they said, I should go down to the stadium and talk to their commanding officer.  I told them I did not want to do this alone.  So the next thing, I know there is the smiling soldier sitting in my van, gun, grenade, knife, the WHOLE works, and he is motioning me to go forward towards the stadium.  We arrived to the stadium, and he jumped out and went to a side entrance and tried to motion someone to come to the gate.  When he got no response, he returned to the van, and motioned for me to go to the side entrance.  It was well hidden, and I would not have found this on my own, nor would I have ventured to even go there alone.   There were 6 men standing guard, and even with their fellow comrade in the van with me, they motioned for me to ‘STOP’, with their guns.  Of course, I immediately stopped, and he jumped from the van, and explained to the men who I was and what I wanted.    One motioned for me to park the van, while the original soldier told me to ‘Wait’ he was going to get their commander.   About 5 minutes later, a very tall man, wearing a tee shirt with the word ‘ARMY’(written in English) comes out of the stadium area with 2 other men.  They approach me and introduce themselves.  They all speak English, though the commander has the best skills.   He was very kind, and ask ‘how can WE help YOU?’  I explained that I was probably the last American here in the oblast, but that I wanted to help in any way, to help the UA army with this war.  I explained that I couldn’t do much, but that I could cook, clean, wash laundry and even offer a place that the men could come and relax and have a hot shower.  The commander, Andrei, explained that Dzerzhinsk was the place that the soldiers would come AFTER battle to ‘regroup’, clean up, eat, sleep, and rest.  I offered him my business card, and in turn, he said, ‘here is my personal cell number, if you need ANYTHING at all, if you feel threatened, you feel unsafe, just CALL me, and I will send out some men to your place, I know where you live.’ That statement startled me a bit…’I know where you live.’

Seems they did know where ‘we’ are, since the separatist had shelled School #2, which is just about 4 blocks from the center.  He called me to make sure that I had his number, and then we talked a bit more, as he explained that his battalion was doing ‘damage control’, since we had no police in our town, that they would be staying and acting as the police to keep up crime out of  Dzerzhinsk.  They would be interviewing new men for police force work, and they would NOT be leaving until they had a honest, solid group in place to be our new police.  Also, he specifically said that he ‘had food to give away’, if I could help with that, and of course, I said ‘yes’.   We parted, and I really feel much better knowing that they are here.   God’s perfect timing for the meeting that was supposed to take place on this day!

Day of Reckoning

Chapter 10

Monday – 7-21-14  – God hide me under the feathers of your large wings – protect me and your followers from the evil in this world.       

8:15 a.m. A friend called telling me that the Ukrainian army would be in Dzerzhinsk today, and that I needed to prepare to ‘go under’ if needed, as they would be hitting all of Dzerzhinsk.   I thanked him, and though much was already packed, I got dressed, washed my face and hands, prepared breakfast, and cleaned everything that needed cleaning, flushing toilets, dishes, since we would most like lose power and who knows when that would be restored, I was told they were going to turn off the water to the city and gas, in fear of gas explosions (smart), so I had everything prepared for the cellar, food, water, clothing, the house was locked down, as was the children’s center…I could hear machine guns and bombs in the not so far distance,  it was so scary.  The unpredictability of it all, is what is scary. Just don’t know ‘where’ they are aiming. There was no one to call, my family was asleep in the U.S., I didn’t want to scare them, there was nothing they could do for me, but pray, and be terrified and I didn’t want to put that burden on them.  I prayed, and prayed some more…and prayed some more.  God knows the future, and I must rest in Him, knowing that He is with me.  Being alone was not my desire.  Being alone in a war was DEFINITELY not my desire.

9:30 a.m. The gunfire is so loud and seems to be getting closer, though I don’t visibly see anything, just hear the noises of war.   There is whistling noises for rockets, and constant machine guns.   I ran over to the center to look out the top window of the center, as I can see all the way to the city center (1.5 mile),  from the 2nd story windows…  There is heavy black smoke coming from the downtown area of Dz..  Also appears as though there is some smoke near our only local hospital, Lenin Hospital.  Not a lot, but some.  The noise is louder from up there.   I did some filming, if I die, at least someone will know what I have lived through.  No one is on the streets, a few neighbors went in the yards to look towards the town center, but I think I have the best view from the 2nd story window.

9:45 a.m…. oh my goodness, a HUGE BOOM…I lose internet….they probably hit the electric plant down town but I can’t see.  The house just shook, and the noise is incredibly loud.

10:30 a.m.   Lost all power. Another huge boom and lots of black smoke coming from the down town area…All the shooting seems to be pointed in the downtown area, just 1.5 miles from me, but I can see it all from the center window. 

11:15 a.m.  planes are flying over head; this is all new to me, but I guess this is what an air strike is, …those are not pleasant…very loud, and starts with a big bang,  then a whistling noise for about 6 sec. then it impacts their target, BOOM.   Over and over,  I can hear the planes overhead, and then they come in for a hit on the target.  It is really scary.

Walking back from the center to the house, I could hear the airplanes over head, so I stopped in the yard to film the air strike, I knew they would be shooting towards town.  I looked up, and could see the plane fly in, turn sharply like 180, and then shoot towards the center of town, I could actually see them firing…it was interesting though I don’t like war, but it was interesting to see this.   I ran back inside.  I wonder how long this will continue, and I constantly talk and pray, since I’m alone, I just talk out loud to God constantly, thanking Him for His love and protection…now I pray for Pastor Sasha and Marina, Valia, Tonya, the many disabled people who have no ability to take appropriate shelter and all my friends living in the center of town…it is all so scary for them, as they are right in the middle of the immediate shelling. 

1:30 p.m.– still shelling, this has been going on for hours, and is waring on me, must be fierce fighting…I can hear gunfire, and small arms being fired.  Oh, I so hope that UA army can ‘take’ these guys…I’m so tired of living like this.   I try to call a few people that live in the downtown, but there are no connections or service at all….

4:00 p.m. –  shelling has finally slowed down, and I’m not even going to the center, children should know we are NOT open…goodness.  They need to stay off the streets, at all cost.   I have decided to try to use my modem to get an internet connection.    I bought this external modem years ago, when there was no internet in the area.  It was useful at one time, and so I kept it thinking that maybe one day I may need.  So I plugged it in, and allowed it to reset.  It is going to take a few minutes so, I decide to take a shower, because with no power, they may cut the water too, so since I have water, better get a shower now while it is still ‘light’…

5:00 p.m. – working on trying to get my computer to recognize the modem for over an hour.  I stand at the bedroom window trying to pick up a connection…I can still hear fighting in the distance, probably ‘new york’, as UA military are trying to clear that separatists block post.   I hear the planes…the usual ‘motice operendi’ is that there is ground battle, then they call in the big guns and the planes finish them off.  So in the distance, I could hear the plane(s) getting ready to fire on the target.  I heard the usual BANG, and then all of a sudden I hear breaking glass and splitting wood.  I could tell, the house had been hit, and there I was standing at the window like a ‘sitting duck’!  I dropped to the floor and crawled over to the other side of the bed so that the bed frame and mattress could possibly protect me.  I lay there for about 7 minutes till the planes are gone, and then I got up to see what was hit.  The living room window frame was hit, and then I see that the shelving unit of the T.V. was hit.  I slowly opened the drawer and I could see the damage of the wood.  I followed the damage, pulling the drawer out, and there lay a bullet in the bottom of the cabinet!   Just 5 meters from where I was standing, and I had just come through there not 10 minutes before, and after showering.    I keep looking at the trajectory of that bullet…  God is amazing, as that would have hit me about thigh high, as I walked right though it’s path.  That gives me the chills!  I’m thanking God for divine protection.   I’m giving up on the internet for now, I’m mentally exhausted from the day, and just read and pray!

8 p.m.  still no electricity, but we do have water, so I can cook and eat and clean up, and prepare for a long night of no internet and no talking to family and NO charging phones, etc.  I call a family friend and ask him to send Rich a message about the ‘war and that I’m O.K..   Love to him. !! ‘    He gladly does this, and is concerned for me.  I assure him, that I’m as ‘fine as fine can be’, under the circumstances.    Though physically fine, mentally I’m shaken from the earlier bullet coming through the window; but I can’t let my family know this, they are 7000 miles away and can’t help me, so to tell them this, would just upset them more.  So I make all assurances that I’m ‘o.k.’ and that I’m fully prepared to leave, or do whatever I need to do. 

Tuesday – 7-22-14

WOW, what a night… booms throughout the night, but not on Dz. but in the distance;  no electricity, and my phone is almost dead.  Computer battery is almost gone too, so I’m being very careful.  Hoping power to be restored today.  

2 p.m.   POWER BACK<<<   yeah, don’t know for how long, so must recharge everything quickly.    Didn’t lose any food, as I never opened the frig. but once.  Now to work on internet…..nothing, but at least we have electricity……. The day is somewhat quiet, so I decide that I need to do some ‘house’ work, so the house needs painting, but scraping is first.  I spend the afternoon scraping paint from my house.  I’m sure when I die, I will probably glow in the dark from all the lead I have inhaled, as they use lead in their paint.  Since kids haven’t come to the center for a few days, I’m trying to stay busy.    Maintenance on 3 houses is a lot for one person, between the yards, external work, interior cleaning, it’s almost full time, and when something big needs to be done, like painting, tilling the garden for spring; it is only me that is going to do it.  I can’t rely on or expect the center director to do these jobs.  So I take this time to paint the little house and our house ‘trim’ work.

We have booms, usually at night…all night…night is not my friend, and I can’t sleep at all…very difficult.  Between the sounds and occasional flashes of light, it is impossible to sleep. 

7-23-14 a.m. still no internet….but we do have power, so that is good.  

Finally internet at the center only late in the day…can send a message to the family!!  Things are quiet here with only moments of machine gun fire, and intermittent, unexpected booms in the distance.    Yesterday I scraped the house, so needing to stay busy, I purchased the paint, and am preparing to paint the exterior of the my house, and window trim.  After scraping it last night, and now I’m fixing all the lose bricks and stones…I even went to the other house and fixed the foundation stone work!…but it will look great, I’m excited to start painting. 

For a visual image, here I am, the lone American in this town,  booms and bombs going off in the distance, and I’m up on a ladder painting my house!  I’m sure the neighbors think I’m crazy!!   And as a matter of fact, my neighbor does come out one time, yelling something at me between bombs.  I told her I was bored and needed to ‘do’ something; she laughed at me and returned inside. 

7-24-14 – A few years ago, we had a fire in our surii, which is somewhat like an outside storage house or room.  We housed aid and some tools in the house.  After the fire, we were able to salvage very little, but was able to retrieve a metal ladder, though the rubber ends had melted away.  That ladder was about the doom of me…while I was up 15 ft. painting the window encasement, the ladder shifted.  I wasn’t ready for that, it started to slide sideways down the house, but I was able to hold on, all while holding the paint!     One big scare…So back to praying in all things…so praying for safety to FINISH this job.  It looks really nice, so I can’t stop now.  My plan to complete this job today fell short, completing the front and back, but running out of paint for the side…more paint tomorrow….

Noise

Chapter 9

There are many things that I used to classify as ‘noise’.  Noise can be anything from temporary things, such as a car pulling up next to me at a stop light playing loud music, to things that distract us from what we really want or should do, to actual audible noise.  We already established that Russians know I, as an American, live in Dzerzhinsk, and I’m not supportive of their invasion.  I have had my phone ‘tapped’; strange men have walked up and down my street, standing outside the children’s center; cars with dark tinted windows have stopped in front for periods of time…I understand this danger, but God provided the funds for this ministry, and me being here does keep the property safe.  No one wants a scandal to hurt or harm an American woman; so I stay here to protect the building and the houses, and allow the ‘center’ to be a refuge for those who need help.  Since our phone communications have been ‘tapped’, Rich and I have come up with code words to convey the real situation and possible danger that is around me.   For us, the word ‘noise’ has been the code word for ‘shooting or shelling’.  We have words like, ‘I’m going to go down under’, which to any person would mean, that I’m going to New Zealand or Australia, but for us that means, I’m going in the cellar, thus Rich knows the ‘noise’ is pretty bad.  I only ‘go down under’ when it is unpredictable that the house may be ‘hit’ by shelling or stray artillery.  We have other code words, but since the war continues, I really can’t share them here. 

7-19-2014

Today was ‘noisy’.  Noisy, is our way of telling people that we were ‘shelled’ without actually saying that.  There was shelling most of the day, all day, and we could hear it in the distance…people say it was Ukraine shelling the separatists checkpoints of Konstyinavka and maybe the ones on the way to Gorlovka and Kardomfka too!!!  One thing one needs to remember, is if Ukraine military is firing at the DPR, that means they are firing ‘at’ Dzerzhinsk, because we are under the control of the DPR.  The likelihood of an exact aim is almost impossible, so hitting something in the surrounding area is quite possible.    The U.S. Embassy has already warned me that I am ‘here on my own’, they don’t recommend me being or staying here, and ‘they aren’t coming after me’, if I need help.  Comforting thought…not, but if I leave, it is too unpredictable what will happen.

The noise is intense, the windows are shaking and my supplies are ready, if I need to get in the cellar.   I have a rain poncho, my rubber ‘high’ boots and black socks, a Styrofoam cooler with flannel sheets, some food, utensils and napkins, matches, candles, a whistle, a hammer, one bucket, 2 folding chairs, light and extension cord (plugged in), change of clothing, toilet paper, some plastic sheets, a few plastic bags for trash, and WATER.  I have a broom laying next to the cellar, and a large crowbar.  If I must get in, I won’t close the door all the way, but lay the broom down to allow air to come in and if something were to fall on the house, at least there is some opening for someone to find me.    I have told several people, ‘if there is bombing in Zabalka (my district of town), and you don’t hear from me…assume I’m STUCK in the cellar and can’t get out.’  Just saying that sends a chill…but it is reality. I keep my computer, along with my phones plugged in at  time to keep them fully charged at all times.  It is scary to think through all this, I don’t like to think about it at all; and never in my years did I think going to Ukraine to minister to orphans would take me down this detour.  To think that 6 months ago, no one saw this coming, all was ‘activities at usual’, and all due to the greed of one world leader, and the mess the UA government was in at the time, Russia jumped at the chance to seize weak and unsuspecting Ukraine. Seeing this happen, and basically no one coming to Ukraine’s aid, was shocking. A treaty broken, a country invaded, UA citizens being randomly shot if they questioned ‘what was going on’…no one seemed to care, thought it was isolated to Crimea, when all along Putin had big plans…plans to go into the east for a land grab with the Donetsk and Lughansk oblast which boarder Russia. God calls us to ‘GO’, we are only told to ‘obey’ and never once do you read about people praying for protection when they ‘went out’ to minister to people.  People say, ‘I’m praying for your safety’ and I do appreciate that, but New Testament Biblically speaking, praying for ‘safety’ isn’t there.  Where does Paul, Peter, John, etc. pray that the path to share the gospel is easy, safe, without rejection, persecution; I can’t find that; we are just called to ‘go and share the gospel of Jesus Christ’, what happens… happens, God is with me.  So far, God has protected me, providing a hedge of protection, I continue to trust Him for my time here, or my time to ‘leave’.    But for right now, my mind is racing with the noise outside, and I watch from the 2nd story window of the center to see if I can see the direction of the bombs. 

In the hours after the airliner being shot down, a video surfaced, and I watched it. Clearly, it was filmed in Torez, having been there many times, I knew they were in that town. The men were laughing, and talking on the phone/radio to someone about what they were doing. They were given an order to ‘fire’, and you could hear and then see the missile…then moments later, you can hear the man on the phone curse and say, that was an airliner, NOT a UA military they shot down. You can hear several men cursing at each other at their ‘mistake’…This video has since ‘disappeared’ from the internet, when it was found to be so damaging to Russia. It is sad that the terrorist may not be held accountable for their murder of 300 people on that airliner….as Putin is scurrying to get that BUK missile launcher out of UA and back to RU.   What I can’t figure out, is how people can’t see this for what it is…it is like, do they WANT these terrorists to be their leaders…someone who will just go out and shoot you for what ever they trump up as a charge…no courts, no justice…just guilt and sentencing without a trial??   Pastors being kidnapped and questioned, or worse murdered… arbitrary taxes, curfews, basically they just make up the rules as they ‘go’ along….and it is amazing that perfectly intelligent people support this ridiculous ideology!   People are so ‘bent’ on NOT going with the EU, they are willing to go the extreme opposite and blindly follow this ‘little man.’

Sunday – 7-20-14

War noises have become more frequent, and seem to be getting closer…Gorlovka has been hit hard, and the UA army is trying to get the separatists block posts cleared out… I try to stay busy.  We have church at the children’s center, and 22 show up!  It is a good service, though I still think that Pastor talks too long.  He needs to learn to make his point, and stop going over and over the same points, it bores people after a while and then they just shut down.   Lera came to church, so that was good!    Later, more kids arrive, but by 5:30-6 they get really loud and unruly, so I have been sending them home.  Without a translator, it is difficult at best to work with them.  Trying to maintain ‘order’, do activities with them, and calm their fears; as their ‘go to’, is to be loud, trying to dispel the noise.  Later in the evening, the ‘noise’ is even louder, and it seems that it is getting closer to Dzerzhinsk.  Then about 9 p.m. an eerie silence falls on us, and it was ‘quiet’ the rest of the night…