We get on the road, and as we are going through Dzerzhinsk, there are police all over the downtown, blocking all the roads entering and leaving town. I can’t really see anything, but later I find out that separatists covered the city with pamphlets saying that they were invading on Monday!  (we are coming back, MONDAY!)  We were checked and waved through and headed to Kostiantynivka, 2 check points, and we are there…onward to Druzhkivka and 2 more check points, and passing a lot of military trucks and armor vehicles.  Once in Kramatorsk, the city seems deserted.  Much more quiet than ever.  So many destroyed buildings, abandoned buildings, burned out vehicles. We see the aftermath of war.    We drive on and next is Maryinka, where we see many destroyed and burned buildings

I can only imagine the havoc that went on here with these people for weeks.  People scared, children scared; homes destroyed, cities destroyed. 

We move on to Slay’vansk, where we get a little turned around and end up going to their city…and turn around and go back to the main road.  We pass 3 more UA heavy artillery trucks just as we turn onto the main road.  They are always scary, as you can see the boxes and boxes of ammo, and know where it is going to kill sons, husbands, uncles, fathers, even daughters.  It is terrible to see RU against their brother UA.  I weep when I think about what could have been, if only Putin had not invaded our beautiful oblast.  We go on, and see that the bridge is out, and a make-shift floating bridge is in place for single cars only.  It is well manned and there are snipers in bushes, along with the obvious men at their bunkers.  In single file we wait out turn to go on the bridge, and nod to the UA army soldiers.   Next big stop is Kharkiv.  We go through several more stops prior to getting to Kharkov, some smaller, and some very big, with extensive mazes to drive through and navigate.  No one is driving fast through those.  You can see snipers in the trees, and many men in bomb shattered buildings, hiding in the windows looking at each van, car, truck, etc.  They are watching for separatists and RU military to be sneaking back into the regained territory of UA.  They desperately do not want to lose territory.   The men are very nice, and when they see the child with us, they usually smile and just wave us through.  We have our signs on the windows, so it is clear we have a child in the vehicle. 

We finally make it to Kharikov, a big city, and there are 2 police check points there.  The city takes us a while to get through, and we make a few wrong turns again.  With so many roads destroyed, they are just not well marked in, and if you happen to be driving beside a huge truck, you may totally miss a sign, and that is what happened.  We get turned around and get back on the right road.  It is now approaching dark, and I hate to drive after dark.  I have night-blindness, and with these dimly lit roads, it is terrible to drive.  In conjunction with the massive road construction, kilometer after kilometer, and the lanes changes, and differences in topography, we creep along the highway, trying to make our way to Kyiv.  

Next is Poltova, and though a large city, we find the way around it, and move through, with 288 kilometers to go.  We feel safe.  We are in constant communication with people in Dzerzhinsk, and we hear that it is quiet there.  

Time approaching 9:30 pm and we are on a nice road, but then it turns off to Borispol, and we get turned around again, as it wouldn’t make sense to go from a really nice 6 lane road to just  2 bumpy lanes, but who can figure Ukrainian logic.  We stop at a gas station, and they day we are going in the correct direction…so we are off.  Next stop is to find Phillip, our night lodging.

After a few calls, we fine Phillip, and get to the church on the left bank in Kyiv and get settled.  It is a great church and it is built with the church in the center of the building and around the perimeter are classrooms, offices, their living quarters, and housing for visitors.  It is a nice place, and I decide that probably best that I stay by myself, instead of with the family. 

I am finally able to get on the internet, and see that Sergie, the man that I sent the photos to, writes me back, saying that Commander Andre was killed.  I’m just shocked, heart broken for his family, his team of men.  He explains that they were at Illovisk and they were surrounded without help.   I couldn’t read the rest…tears flowing down my face, reading that this gentle giant had been taken in such a way, I jump on the internet to read the news that indeed that many men had been slaughtered at Illovisk.  Though they were promised a ‘green gateway’ to get out, unarmed, when they went to leave, they were cornered and shot dead!  Just too much for me.  I’m in shock. 

I must try to at the very least find Andre’s wife and 2 sons, and share with them the photos I took of their beloved husband and father.   So I write Sergie a third time, this time asking for ANY information to find his family to give condolences.  My head is pounding, and I try to sleep.  So shaken from the 10 hours drive, and then to receive this devasating news…  Sleep does not come with ease.

Monday morning I’m up early, and see Sergie writes back, with the news that there is a slim possibility that Andre made it out alive.   Phillip, Masha and myself are going downtown to the Kyiv Post to talk with them, and see if they want a story.  On the way down, I talk with Masha about trying one more time to call Andre and see if he is alive.  We talk through what to say if he answers, or if someone else answers.  There is the possibility that he because he is a commander could have been captured, and RU has his phone, or he was killed and they have his phone.  Then there is the scenario that he is alive.   I dial the number and it goes dead…not a good sign.   I decide to try again, as I know there are sometimes difficulties getting through.  So we try again, and Masha starts to speak…and it is ANDRE, HE IS ALIVE!   I’m speechless, yet so happy.  I know our time may be short, so I speak fast and let him know that we are praying for him, and that we are thinking of he and his men.  He explains that he is ‘on the road, looking for his men.’  He sounds distraught that he can’t find them and concerned about their whereabouts.  I know he must be worried.  This is the kind of person he is.  I remember, he was always asking me, ‘are you ok, are the kids o.k, do you need anything at all.?’    To think that he was caught in that gun battle in Illovisk, is just causing me to be sick to my stomach..just, heartbreaking.  His military assignment is to rebuild the communities after the war, not actual combat!  He was misled!   I would be so upset if I were him.    I don’t know ‘what’ he feels, probably abandonment from the UA military.  But God will never abandon him, I try to convey all this to him.   I also tell him what a difference he made in so many children, families, and the elderly.  He laughed and said, ‘it was nothing, you do all the work.’     He says again, ‘how kind I am to care about him and his men’ and I say that ‘we will continue to pray for he and his safety and the safety of his men.’ He thanks me profusely, and we say good-bye.  It was a good conversation, and if it were my last, I feel I said what I needed to for his sake.   

God please surround this man and his men with your wings of protection, hide them from the evil one, and provide shelter for them.  In some small way, help them to know that there are hundreds of people praying for them, and sending waves of encouragement to them.  Lord, place your hedge of protection around them.

We get to the Kyiv Post, and they want to do an interview, but only if I will go on the record.  I can’t do that, I can’t jeopardize everything for an interview, a few photos…anything like that.  The children’s center would become a target and be destroyed, and probably the houses too, by the separatist, if it were revealed that I was receiving help from the UA army to feed people in the community.  The effect that one interview could have may touch hundreds of people that would never get food, water or medicine.  Granted, having His Kids Too name out there for the publicity would be nice, but really, who knows if the publicity would bring any help to the people, it may take a 180 degree turn and place a target on the place. So I decline this opportunity and trust that other opportunities will arise. 

We get back to the church, I have a blazing headache, Phillips driving, no air, heat, and little food, and just stress, I’m literally overwhelmed.  Tomorrow we are to go to the Embassy, and we don’t know the way, so we need to get information on where to go…   The embassy appointment is at 8:30, thus we must leave by 7 a.m. to make the metro connections and get there on time.  The people I brought with me from Dzerzhinsk are trying to get a visa for the woman and the child, but they aren’t married, and have no documents, so I don’t really know what will happen.

Sleeping is very difficult, tossing and turning most of the night, reliving the days events, of first thinking Andre was dead, finding out he is alive, then everything he had been through and that at the minimum he has lost 10 of his men. Short night, and we get to the Embassy, and thankfully, we have all the documents, but because when the child was born and they were not married, they must now prove evidence that he is the father.  Which is a fact that many of questioned.  The child looks like her, but not him.   So they scurry to find photos, and send to the embassy.   So we will know something in 6 days. 

9/3/14 – 31 years today, and I’m not with Rich ((((   It is hard to be apart for our anniversary, but I can’t do anything…my hands are tied.  Received a text today from Andre, that’ he is o.k., and appreciates my encouragement.’  Just to know that he is o.k, and prayerfully some of his men…I don’t know and Sergie hasn’t responded to my note.  I pray that something didn’t happen to the man that asked me to take the photos.    He was really nice, and many of the young men look up to him as a senior service man.  

Wednesday we are working on my registration, and see what we can do to get re-registered under a different church, since it is impossible for Ludmilla to re-register me.  Phillip makes a few calls, and a letter is written, and we run over to an office and drop things off, but we won’t know anything till Thursday, but I need to leave, and get home.  I have made the ticket and I leave in the early morning.    The people that traveled with me from Dzerzhinsk will go on to Cherniga and the woman will stay there with the child, while he returns to the states. They didn’t have all the documents they needed. The man will leave after me for the states.     I relax in the afternoon, and repack the suitcases for leaving them in Kyiv with Phillip.  Car is unloaded, suitcases are repacked, and I’m ready.   Off to bed by 10 p.m., as I’m up by 3 a.m. to get to the airport by 4:15 a.m.   I really wanted Phillip to just drop me at the door, but he insisted that he walk me in the airport!   He was talking and talking about his children, and I forgot to ticket my luggage with I.D. tags, I sure hope it makes it!! We arrive at the airport, Phillip helps me with all the luggage, and we make it to the baggage x-ray and I make it through all the security check points…I was surprised, as I have several used large ammo cartridges, used missles and even RU military ammo that is in my suitcases. It all makes it through, so that is good, but very surprising. We say our ‘good-byes’, and I’m off to the passport check and to the gate. So hard to believe that I’m finally heading back to the U.S. I’m trying not to worry about leaving the ‘center’ behind, as I know I need to get home to the family.

Made it to Amsterdam and on the way to Atlanta.  Flight is good, just tiring.  I feel so helpless and useless on this plane…I left so much behind, and they need so much help, and they have no one to assist them at all.   I’m going to drop Andre a note about any left over food at the stadium, maybe Sasha and Valia can get some and give it away, I don’t know, and there may not even be food there, but it is worth asking. 

Made it to Atlanta, and all went well, though the passport control man asked me a lot of questions about the war, and what was really happening.  He said that the news U.S. gets, is that UA wants RU to take over!!   I dispel that incorrect information. Disgusting, and totally untrue, but I have decided that it is easier for people just to believe the lies, that way they don’t have to react to the way the U.S. gov. has turned their back on UA.  My luggage got stuck at immigration, due to my seeds and eggs.  While I was there, the men talked with me again about my experience in UA.  Then a Russian man came up and he had problems too, with his seeds, and onions.  I was asked to translate, as no one there spoke Russian, but me.  I had to laugh, as my Russian isn’t great, but I totally understood him, and he understood me.  He wasn’t all that pleasant to me, so I wonder if he was pro-putin??   Anyway, I finally was able to leave, and transferred to my next, and final gate…then I will be in Tallahassee…

As I sit here at the gate, and just people watch, and watch CNN that is blarring on the news about Joan Rivers who died earlier in the day, my mind just wanders back to UA, and wondering what is happening.  Are Valia and Sasha and others safe?  How is Andre and his men?  Did he find them?  What is their condition?  My heart just hurts for what has happened in UA, and how the UA government just LEFT these MEN who are NOT even foot soldiers, left them to be killed by RU army.  It is deplorable; and though I will not turn my back on UA, I don’t understand it at all.  I can’t imagine how distraught Andre must be, and how responsible he must feel that he could not fight back with 100% assurances from the government forces to back him up.  Alone and just trying to figure out what to do; I continue to pray for peace, but NOT at the expense of losing the territory to RU.  ! 

By the time we take off for Tallahassee, I’m exhausted, the flights and layovers, the stress of the trip has taken over, and I sleep.  The 45 minutes goes by fast, but at least a little cat nap is helpful.  Yes, I’m ‘home’, but my mind is elsewhere.  It is with the hundreds of hungry, the displaced families that have no place to live or really to go…the hungry children, those in Ghorlivka; the UA army, and the continuing battle for UA territory by the evil Putin.  God send your wrath on him and his troops.  Send a plague that only effects them, whether it be sickness, mechanical failure, natural disaster to russia, or death, place a plague on them so that they will retreat, in the name of Jesus.

Friday  8/22/14 – Valia has returned!!!!  WooHoo!!!  I have known Valia for about 12 years, and she is a dear friend, and wonderful translator. I so desperately need her.  We go and pay bills today, then off to the baby hospital to see the shelter children as they are staying there.  Then we go look for boxes, which has become our new daily destiny!  Boxes for food!  We’re always on the look out for them.  Anyway, it is so great to have her back!!   She loves to go visiting too, so it is a ‘win – win’ situation. Andrew calls that the shipment will arrive late in the afternoon as the driver just showed up and that he is leaving shortly and should arrive Saturday morning. We work on food boxes all afternoon, and prepare for Andrews shipment which is to arrive tonight. The kids arrive and beg us to take them to the river.  Valia is an expert swimmer, so she can assist in the teaching of them to swim.  So we agree, as long as they listen and continue to try to learn to swim. 

Swimming goes well, and the kids try the new approach with Valia, thank goodness she swims and knows how to teach swimming.  The kids listen, and try, but they just don’t get it…but maybe in time.   We return to the children’s center where Sasha is waiting for us.

We now have 65 boxes, if we put together from Andrei, and we contact other churches to see if there is a need.  There is a need, but the problem is, getting the food ‘to’ to the people.  The food is heavy, and to lift and move it, seems so ridiculous, but we will probably end of doing just that because few have any form of transportation.  Andrew calls around 4, confirming that the truck won’t arrive today, but tomorrow.   Knowing this, we go ahead with Sasha having a Bible study, and then we enjoy milk and cookies, courtesy of the UA army.    

I take the opportunity to talk to Sasha about the food and he makes a few calls.   It is decided that Lena’s church can take 13 boxes, but I insist that we take much more, we take 28 or so, bags and boxes.  We are off to deliver leaving about 8p.m., as finding these houses is difficult as it is, now it is dark, and I must be able to turn around…it is a recipe for an accident; to me, it is too late, but I guess we go when we can go.  

We first go and pick up Lena, who is now at least 350 lbs, in my car with all this food, and myself, Aloysha, Valia and Sasha…too much weight!  Poor car!   Anyway, house after house, we distribute and as we go, she remembers others…(I’m so glad I insisted on bringing more boxes)…we finally wind things up around 9:45 p.m., my back is killing me, and we are all very tired.  We have 2 boxes left, but it is just too late to go to anyone’s house now.  I drop everyone off and I get home, get the van put away, and call Rich briefly, shower and fall into bed, exhausted.    Food truck from Kyiv is supposed to arrive tomorrow…we shall see.

Saturday – 8/23/2014 – I wake at 6:45 a.m.  I don’t know why, but I can’t sleep and then I wake early.  I finally fall back to sleep,   since Angie W. gave the funds for the lunch, I decided to start the fellowship lunches tomorrow, after church.  I had the time in the morning, so I was off to the market to get food, and more yellow paint, for pole painting later.  I decided to just go with sandwiches, due to the food situation, as the time involved to make the lunch.  I didn’t want to start off so big that later I would regret that, as what if the funding stops, and then we go back to tea and cookies, which isn’t bad, just not much.  So egg salad, sausage, tomato and cucumber, carrot salad, pickles, and tea and cookies, simple, yet at least something.  So I’m busy cooking today until the kids arrive. 

 I’m excited to think that the shipment may be here today, but at the same time, thinking ‘who’ are we giving this food to.  We know people need it, but we can’t drive it all over town…getting them to come to the center may be difficult, since it is so far from the main road where the busses flow.  There are definitely +’s  and –‘s about our location.  Being where we are had the + of NOT being so visible to the separatists.  They didn’t see our attractive building, and just come in and take it, which they probably would have.  But on the other hand, being so far off the road limits people’s accessibility to the center also.  But, it is all a trade off.   

Finally, the food is in Donetsk region, and we decide to take 40 packs to Novghorosk, before off loading the rest in Dzerzhinsk.  No sense in moving it twice.  The driver agrees to do this, and we meet him on the road and take him to Pastor Paul’s church, where they have 4 people waiting to unload.  The unloading goes very smoothly, and we agree to return Sunday for distribution, and photos.  Then, we are off to Dz.

We arrive in Dz. and our team of men, Sergey, Larissa’s husband, Alex, Roma’s dad, Roma and Jimmy, Vitalyi and Kristina are there to assist us, to unload, and start sorting.  Two tons of food is a lot of food to organize, but Andrew did a great job putting it all together.  The truck is unloaded fairly quickly, and we send the men on their way with a snack food package as their ‘thank you’.  They are grateful.  We now have food for 180 families, now to find families.

8/24/2014 – Sunday – the building is just a mess, with food everywhere, but it is great to see Roma’s family at church.  They say that they are going to come to church, or start back…time will tell.  But they are very nice people, and appreciate all we are doing.  They have 3 girls, and Roma, so their family of 6 is a lot to feed.   Sasha is supposed to cut his sermon a little shorter today, as Valia and I need to go to Novghorosk by 12 to distribute food and shoot some photos for donors.  Well, that doesn’t happen, and we don’t even finish till 11:40 a.m. yet, I still need to prepare the food table, I’m VERY glad I thought in advance to prepare the sandwiches, bowl the salads, and basically get everything ready but the actual table, because it was where we were meeting.  I’m able to get everything ready, and Valia and I leave for Novghorosk arriving around 12:20, yet, Pastor Paul continues to speak until at least 1, which is frustrating, because it took so much effort to ‘get’ there we needed him to be on time.  But we get the food distributed, and people are very pleased with the food.  

Valia and I finish up and dash back to the center.  The ‘noise’ in Novghorask is scary to say the least, and sounds like it just down the streets.  We also stop off at Nicholi house, a first in many years, and drop them some food.  It looked like all they had was bread, but I don’t know for sure.  I didn’t see any food at all, just some broken pieces of bread in a bowl on the coal stove.  They were so happy to see me, and it was nice to see them.  The war is literally just outside, as at the end of their street it backs up to an area that they are shelling.   The cracking noises were disturbing, and frightening. 

Back at the center, I had left the church members to bag up all the onions, carrots, and potatoes, which they did.  The food was not ready to go.   We had invited Lena’s church people over, but they never showed up, so we decided to go over to Start church and invite the other Assembly of God church near school 1.  Both places said that they would take 14 boxes/bags each.  28 down, and 160 to go!  

8-25-2014 – Monday morning – start of a new week.  I keep thinking I’m going to get home to the U.S. and it isn’t happening.  At this point, I must find an organization to help me with my registration.  I don’t know what to do.  Ludmilla can’t, she can’t even get out of her city let alone go to any office and sit for hours while her home and church are under attack.  It just seems ridiculous the bureaucracy of this country without any regard for those of us helping Ukrainian people.  If I were not here, these people would NOT get food.  Who knows what would happen.  Yes, they probably would survive, but Christ would not be preached, and food would not fill children’s and the elderly tummies.  It is just amazing to me the attitude of disdain towards those of us here helping.   Like we caused this war, or that if we left, people would still get fed.!   All paperwork is processed via the immigration office. After several tries, we finally get someone to answer, and explain the situation, that I need to renew our Charity Fund status, but our host church is under attack in Ghorlvka. Additionally, that we can’t get to her office due to the war. The woman replies, ‘war, what war…just go to Donetsk and they will process your documents” !!!!  Repeatedly, we try and convince her of the reality of the situation, but she refuses to agree that we can’t physically get to Donetsk to do this required paperwork. What planet is she living on?

 So this week, I need to find a sponsoring church, someone who will do this document so that I can get the visa.   

Valia and I are off to give out food, something that I said I wasn’t going to do, but at this point, we need to move this food, or it is going to spoil.  So we start with 25 boxes, got rid of all those, and went back for more.  Took a few more out; then when we returned the kids had come.  Andrew had donated bread, which had gone hard, perfect for French toast, so cooking class, was French toast, and then off to swimming.  Arrived at the swimming lake, but they told us, that after today, it is closed for the summer.  Kids had a great time, and I allowed them to stay longer since it was the last.  We had 11 kids go with us, and I had to refuse Angel, due to Zhenya being with us, and so many others.  I just can’t keep my eye on Angel too, with Zhenya.  Angel was disappointed, but Larissa totally understood. 

We returned to the center to find Sasha waiting for us, he has decided that he will go to Gorlovka tomorrow with much needed food, diapers, and medicine.  Valia and I do not feel led to go, and unless we got some revelation from God, he will go alone.   We pray over that, then he leaves, deciding that we will meet in the morning at 8 to load the car for the trip to Gorlovka. 

8-26-2014 –  7 a.m. comes very early when you go to bed at 1 a.m…but up and over to the center to meet Sasha and Valia and the Pastor from the church by school 1 had come for their 14 boxes.  They are very happy and appreciate the help.  Sasha calls Ludmilla and says that they need more baby food, and some diapers and gives a list of medicines.  Valia and I are off to the store to purchase more monka (cream of wheat), diapers and the medicine.  Returning to the center, Sasha has the car loaded with about 1 ton of food, which is amazing, as the car is a small Lada, just a little bigger then a compact Toyota and after prayer, he is off to Gorlovka.  Valia and I load up for our day of food distribution.  We take 25 bags, pick up Ira and are off to more places to see more people and bless them. 

Sasha calls throughout the trip to give us updates.  He arrives safely and drops the food with Zhenya (Ludmilla’s husband), and leaves.  The ‘drop spot’ is supposedly in a ‘safe zone’ near the train station in Niketocov.  He arrives back at the center about 12:30, and we join him for some much needed lunch.  About 2 we start hearing very loud bombing, for about 30 minutes or more.  Ludmilla calls and says that the very place Sasha was, is now being bombed.  Thank God that none of our people are there, though we don’t know how the food is…??   Guess we will find that out later when it is safe to venture in that storage area. 

Because of the bombing, we don’t have many kids today, just Nastia, Artum, Angel and Zhenya.  And Artum leaves after his grandmother arrives for her food bag.  It gives me a chance to take an inventory of foods we have left, and if we are to make more boxes, what will go in them. ?

Later in the evening, my friend Linn K. a reporter from Donetsk drops me a note about a food outreach from Donetsk, and asks if we need food.  I say, YES, and we agree to talk Wednesday about how and when to get more food, as the group in Gorlovka need more food at this point.  We will probably take some of what she has to offer and fill up our boxes (we only have about 12 bags of onions, potatoes, carrots, pasta, meat, cookies left), and then move on the rest of the shipment to Gorlovka.   

I’m exhausted by the work today…and it is strangely quiet…eiry I don’t know what all that means, but I hope that it stays that way!

8/27/2014 – Wednesday – I had been looking for airline tickets for this day, and it seems I won’t get home for my anniversary ((((((   I’m just sick that I can’t find any religious organization to help me with this letter of invitation.  I just don’t know what to do at this point.  If I don’t have the registeration, and go to the airport, passport check can stamp my passport that I can’t re-enter for 6-12 months, which would be terrible, so finding a sponsoring church is important.        

Valia and I worked all day on trying to obtain information on how to reregister, impossible!  Ridiculous people, ridiculous country, people were just rude to us to even ask.  From all the people we spoke to, which were about 15, 3 were remotely pleasant and helpful, though no results.

We formulate the letters for Ludmilla to sign and stamp, and now the case is HOW to get those stamps.??   Sasha isn’t feeling called to ‘go’ there, and if he doesn’t go, then the letters don’t get the stamps, I’m sunk.  So we complete the letters, and pray. 

Kids arrive and we are still working on everything.  Valia is so good to find a craft of using the egg cartons to make butterflies and we will hang them from the ceiling.  They are excited to do this, and everyone participates. 

Pastor Paul is to arrive in the morning with his thank you letter, and Start church is to bring their overs, and the other church by school #1, said they would not do a letter??   So  they won’t be getting more food or clothing, which they asked for.  Very odd.

Friday, we will go to the Ovir office and try to get something done there.  

8/29/14 – Friday – Wake at 6:45 a.m., no internet, this is usual, and then it will turn on about 10 or 11 a.m…  it is just frustrating to say the least, as I have a lot of work to do, and can’t do it.  Anyway, it is what it is.   God knows my needs, and will supply as He desires. 

Valia and I go to the Ovir’s office, and they initially can’t help us, but when we go over to the boss, a nice man that knows me, he makes several calls, and gives us the direct name of a person that should be able to assist us.   So thankful for his kindness.  We get to the car and start making calls, which again is running around, but the people seem to be nicer.  The man is helpful, and gives us another number to call, where the woman (Victoria) is helpful, and asks that we call back in 1 hour, that they are in the process of MOVING their office from Mariupol to Slav’yansk and they are in transit.  Literally in the car….We gladly agree, and try back later, only they still have not arrived.  We continue on with the plans to leave on Sunday, and think about food, and what we must do and what we need.  Talking to Ludmilla, it is decided to go Sunday, but NO ONE tells to bring the stamps for my documents.  At this point, I’m worried about the documents, as we can’t get a hold of Ludmilla to bring the stamps.  I don’t know what to do, but I’m leaving Sunday, with or without them.     I received a sweet note from my daughter Haley, ‘missin her mama’, and I really just need to be there for the kids.  The babies need me, and right now, though we have some food, everyone is o.k., and we don’t have food to give right now.    I have been gone long enough from the family, and need to get home…God continues to protect the UA army, seems that RU has moved in full force, and many UA battalions have been trapped and slaughtered.   2 men just blew themselves up with their 12 Russian prisoners.  I can’t even begin to think what Andre and his kind men are going through.  But this is war…people die…innocent people die…

The kids arrive, and we play for a while, but the stress level is high, the noise level is high, everyone senses ‘something is going on, but no one really knows what is happening.  We try to get their minds off things, and make a craft.  They love crafts, but they are so expensive, and many times, they just throw them out.    We later have a good Bible study, just Olya, Lera, and Nastia, Larissa, Angel, Zhenya and baby Sasha.   

Saturday – 8/30/14 –  Up since 5:15, a.m.  I can’t sleep, I don’t know why, maybe nervous about the trip, idk. Maybe it is just thinking about the text I got from Andre, ‘we are in a VERY tense situation…pray for us’, and I just feel for those men.  Then, Valia lost her job, as there are no students, so she is over cleaning her office/class room out, and making a bizillion copies of things.  So many things seem senseless, when so many are suffering needlessly, all by the hands of some silly little dictator, who won’t stop his games.  He is really a sick little man.  God please have judgment on him, as so many innocent are dying at his hands, please come quickly and protect your faithful children. 

Praying as we go, Valia and I are off to big open-aire market early to purchase food for Ludmilla’s group.    We are able to purchase  90 kilo’s of potatoes (300gh), 90 kilo’s of onions (300gh), monka, cereal, buckwheat, green pepper, cabbage, flour, pasta with Dema’s money, and then we added it with what we had left from Andrew (toiletry bags, carrots, a few potatoes, and onions) and (military) Andre (sala, soap, oil, cookies, pasta), I also picked 3 kilos of apples from our tree,…Sasha’s car is packed and he will go Sunday, the problem is, we still have not been able to reach Ludimilla and now, have no internet.  We think that the DPR hit the cell tower which would knock out phone, and internet…but we must pray that we get through to Gorlovka.    Church members show up to help sort potatoes and onions, while Sasha systematically loads his car for the trip.  He says he will go regardless if he reaches Ludmilla or not…so that is fine, I just won’t get my documents.  I take Ira and Marina, picking up Lera on the way home, and dropping her at the bus stop near her grandparents.  Marina is first, then Lera, then Ira, who takes all the broken boxes to her house for the winter to stoke her fire.  I finally get back around 6, and Valia and Aloysha are painting the summer kitchen at the small house.  I mentioned to Valia I wanted to do this, so they went over and did it.  The houses look great…too bad we can’t sell them, but no one will come here, let alone buy a very modern house.~~  In the back of my mind, I keep reminding myself that I need to reserve my return ticket to the states, but without internet, it is impossible.   Valia and I finally sit down to eat at 9:45 p.m.  shower and fall into bed, exhausted.  My body just aches, and tomorrow will be a huge day with so many things that need to be done.

Sunday 8/31/14 –  Awake by 5 can’t sleep.  Too much on and in my head.  I just think about so many things that we got done on this trip, so many helped, new people met, lives touched I hope that God is pleased in some way, it is such a huge responsibility to bring the gospel to people, people who are in crisis.  There are no words for it.  They are stressed out, many can’t see that their only hope is in God.  They want a quick fix, and there is no quick fix to this at all.  Though it did happen over night,  and the only way it will be fixed, is if putin pulls back and retreats to russia; we I don’t see that happening.    It is 12:44 am. time in U.S. I can’t call and give a message, I just hope that Rich and I are ‘channeling’ and he knows that we need prayer to make this happen with Ludmilla, otherwise, I leave without those critical stamps on the documents that I need for the registration. 

Off to loading the van for the drive to Kyiv, as I will leave my van at Masha and Phil’s church parking lot, so that when I return I can load it up with supplies from Kyiv and drive it back to Dzerzhinsk, since flying to Donetsk is out of the question.

Sunday we still have no internet, but I rise and get things packed and pray for Pastor Sasha that he is safe.  Valia stayed at my place and she left early to go over to the center.  I’m thinking about all the things I must do, prepare, and deal with.  Money for bills, money for food for Happy (our dog), money for Valia to help me, money for food for Gorlovka people.   We get a message that Sasha makes it to Nikitocva but Zhenya isn’t there, and so no docs. signed, but he insists on going on to Ghorlivka to find Ludmilla and get the signatures.  He is risking life for this.  So ridiculous to me…that government can’t understand what we are dealing with here. I get the van loaded and feel it is ready to go.  I have a bite to eat, and go over and join church services.  There are 18 people there!!  WOW!!   So glad to see Roma’s family return.  We have just a few minutes of Vitalyi teaching, and Sasha returns.  We are all anxious to hear about his trip, and he tells about the snipers in the trees, and the DPR ppl everywhere….how he had to go to the bridge and meet Ludmilla there with the documents, hide and have her sign them.  Crazy.  They were afraid to get shot by the DPR, if they were seen with official documents…it is shoot first, and then if the victim is alive, ask questions later.    It all seemed really surreal that I’m living through all this,  violence all around and people just going to the market like nothing is happening 20 miles away.  People fighting for freedom, and people dying for freedom, and no one cares..so many people are just apathetic about the whole situation, they don’t want RU, but they don’t understand that the violence won’t just stop, they won’t just put their guns down and go back to RU, it doesn’t work that way.  I’m ready to leave, but I’d like the church to pray over the car., and I have one more bag at my house, that I need to go and get, without Alena and Lera seeing all this.     We finally get to pray, and we leave.  It is a bitter sweet for me, I know it is time, but it is so hard to leave all these people behind in this situation.  I feel God has used me, but to what extent, could I have done more, should I have done more, I certainly WOULD have done more if I had more food to give away.  

We head over to the Start church where they do not have the stamp we need we must get on the road, so I go to the friend thatI’m giving a ride to Kyiv and pick them up, with their tearful good-byes’ to relatives, we load them, their suitcases, and their child in the van; place ‘child on board’ signs on the van and back to Start church where they have the documents ready for me.  They ask if I am able to help a church member out and we agree to take a large package to Kyiv for a family that fled and had no time to gather their things.  A common occurrence, people flee the fighting, and just leave most of their belongings behind.  The van is packed with the friends things, this bag I’m taking to someone, and I have 5 suitcases!! Yet I still have so much I left behind. !   But after all… it is just stuff…

Chapter 18

Olya, Rada, Artur, Nastia, Angel and Zhenya arrive as we finish up the boxes, and the kids want to go and swim.  I agree to take them, and Zhenya wants to go.  Zhenya is one of the children, (though he is 21) that attended our summer camp for challenged kids summer of 2013.  He lived in the ‘invalid’ home in Dzukofvoka for the first 18 years of life, and then his parents mysteriously decided to go and pick him up and brought him home.  We are not real sure how much he understands, as he doesn’t speak or write, so he communicates through grunts, hand gestures (but not sign-language), leading us, and basically just about anyway he can. Unfortunately, it isn’t very effective, as usually we give up, not understanding what he wants.  He has malformed legs, feet, and fingers, and a large hump on his right shoulder.  Prior to him coming to the center, he would sit outside his home, and watch life pass by. One day I decided to ask his mother if he could attend the functions at the children’s center, just 6 houses away, and she asked him, and he clearly was very happy to be invited, and promptly showed up at the center the next day, and has come everyday we are open since. He literally arrives to the gate about 30 minutes early, and stands and waits for me to open the gate. He will come in the courtyard and just sit on a bench and wait for the time we open. He has never been a problem, always follow directions, and participates as he is able. Again, though, he doesn’t speak, so we really don’t know how much he understands. And today he really wanted to go swimming. We have never taken him, but there is a large area that is only knee deep, so it seemed safe…Of course we would need the permission of his mother, so we loaded up everyone in the van and since he has a bit of difficulty walking we stop off at his place to talk with Gala, his mom, and she says that ‘yes’, Zhenya can swim, as his sister lives in Mariupol, and they have been to the sea many times.  We agree to take him, pick up the rest of the kids, who had walked home to change and get towels, and off we go.  We get to the ‘river’, as they like to call it, but it is more like a big, dirty, pond with very little flowing water.  The 3 sides are lined in concrete with the 4^th being a ‘beach’, which would very loosely describe this, as it is really more like play sand and mud, but that is ‘their’ beach, and where they have huts to rent, and 3 grills.  The kids head for the water, and they tend to stay in the end where the sun is, as the water is fairly cold.  Zhenya walks down in the water and walks over to where the kids are.  He enjoys the water, and basically just follows the kids wherever they go.  The water is only about knee to waist deep with exception to one area near a tree that someone apparently dug out so that the swimmers can jump from this tree into the water.  There is a sharp underwater cliff, that the water goes from 3 feet, to about 15 feet.  This lake, I have not been able to figure out, as there seems to be a lot of slick clay around it, and when you dig down in the ‘sand’, there is clay.  So the bottom is somewhat slick.  Anyway, Aloysha and I are sitting on the blanket just watching, the kids have left the sunny area and are heading across in front of us and it appears that they want start jumping from the side into this deep area, (our kids will not climb the tree to jump from the tree, it is just too high), so Aloysha decides to join them.  He goes over to the area, and it seems that Zhenya has followed them, and is ‘in their way’.  I’m motioning to the kids to come in closer, but then it seems that Zhenya stepped off that ‘cliff’ and has GONE UNDER!.  He is drowning, he can’t get his footing.  Initially, I do not see that he has gone under, as there is a huge tree in the way, but I see Aloysha go in and I thought he was just jumping in, nothing more.  Then Rada yells for me, ‘Teresa, Zhenya’.  Her voice was more saying, ‘Teresa, Zhenya is in the way.’  NO it was more like, ‘Teresa, Zhenya needs help.’  So I got up and walked over, and Zhenya was no where to be seen, and Alyosha was flaying in the water, yelling for help.  I immediately took off my phone, which is clipped to my pocket and jumped in the water and headed to Aloysha, Zhenya popped up, but was pulling Aloysha down, both were gasping for air.  Aloysha saw that I made it to Zenya, and I grabbed him in the life saver hold, and started swimming to shallow water.  Aloysha was still gasping for air.  I yelled for Olya to come and help me, since I could ‘touch’ so I knew she could also, so she came and helped me with Zhenya and I went back for Aloysha, pulling him to shore.  Thank God, that is all I could say.  Because NO ONE even tried to help from the shore, they all just stared at me as if I was swimming for FUN.  Zhenya had swallowed a lot of water, but both boys were o.k… though wet, I was fine, and very thankful that my mother made me take that life-saving course back in high school.   Truly a miracle, thank you God. 

Ten minutes later, Andrei calls saying he has a present for me, a desk top COMPUTER!   WOW, I gasp, and he says that it is just an extra one and they don’t need it.!!   We are to go over and pick it up on our return home.  I hate to so this, as I’m soaking wet, but have no choice, gas is so high, I don’t want to go back and forth with the kids and the car, so they will have to wait in the car for me.   Another reason why I’m glad to have Valia back is that I can convey to Olya and Rada that they are WRONG about these men, that they are NOT separatists, and that they bring good, not bad to this community.  WHAT did the separatists bring, NOTHING, but fear and lies!  I’m very tired of hearing that they are bad people…they provide so much to the community, and yet these kids continue to say they are ‘bad’.  They will not get any more food because of these comments, since the food comes from the army men.     We expected a big shipment that was supposed to arrive today from Andrew, but their driver didn’t show up…so maybe tomorrow.

NIGHT MOVES:

Everyone got home safely, and Aloysha and I prepare for our ‘night moves’ on the ‘Dzerzhinsk’ sign that was painted blue and yellow, at which someone painted the yellow RED for the DPR, so we bought all the paint and will be repainting it tonight!   We plan to go around 8 p.m. just so it is dark.   The letters are big, and tall, and it is on the side of a slag mountain, so there is some risk involved.  But, I’m going for it…I only live once, and I want to make the most of it, or at least die trying to make a statement for these people, that Ukraine needs to be UNITED, not divided by RU. 

We leave around 7:40p.m. and scout out the area for the best place to park, and find a nice little side road where the van is well hidden, and we can just pretend like we are ‘taking a walk’.  We put everything in the Aloysha’s backpack, a perfect spot for the paint, brushes, gloves and can opener.   The city has been burning underbrush, so the top of the slag mountain that was once covered in grass, is now burnt grass, and easy to walk through, but provides no place to hide, if we get a ‘visitor’ or 2.  We get to the top, and see our work, but at the same time must be careful not to fall off the slag mountain.  The letters sit at the ledge of the slag, which is quite shifty under foot. The drop is about 40 ft.  It is just almost completely dark now, so safe to start painting.  I should have bought 2 cans of yellow, as I can see, this isn’t going to be enough, as the letters are much bigger when you get closer.  They are probably 12 ft. tall, and 4 ft. wide.  We paint quickly and quietly, and I work on yellow, as Aloysha works on blue.  Part of the sign had been scorched by the brush burning fire, so flakes of wood would flick off and hit us while we painted, but after about 1 hour all was complete and I’m anxious to see it tomorrow in the daylight!     I thank Aloysha, and drive him home. My next ‘painting project’ are the utility poles, they have been spray painted, blue and yellow, but it looks terrible, and I want to just repaint it to look nice.  That will be another night, with more yellow, as we are OUT of yellow paint.

Chapter 17

8-12-14 – Tuesday, still no water, and looks like it will be a while.  It is dry, hot, no breeze at all…just dead heat.  I can’t imagine my ‘new friends’, and what they endure for the safety and security of this country.  They are layered in gear, bulletproof vests and or body armor, long pants, socks, boots, knee pads, all sorts of gadgets and gear.   I pray for their safety all the time.  It is just me and God, so I talk to Him a lot.  We have had some very long conversations about life…what’s important, and what’s fluff.   In America there is a lot of fluff…life here is real and ‘in your face’.   Living on the edge is quite literal.  One minute you are talking to a friend, and the next you are shaking in your shoes, running for ‘cover’ from an unexpected explosion a few miles away.  God becomes, very real, very fast, and the way I spend my time is more deliberate.   I just don’t drive into town for one thing, I have a list, know exactly where I’m going, and go and return to the house. Not many people out on the streets, as it is just too dangerous and unpredictable.

I’m thankful for the internet, but it has become more and more sporadic in that last days.  Who knows why…the torment of intermittent communication with the rest of the world is enough to make one ‘go’ a little whacky.  One minute you are talking to your loved one, and then just ‘gone’…internet shuts off.  No warning, no reason, and does not coming back on.    I think that it is some sort of demoralizing ploy by the russians to torment us. Who knows, but it does the trick.

Today I will go and pick fruit for juice.  Juice is very expensive now due to delivery trucks refusal to bring food to the grocery stores since it is dangerous to travel the roads. One never knows when a band of DPR will appear on the road, flag you over, eject you from the vehicle and hijack it, and since the DPR needs food, delivery trucks are a prime target. They even go so far as to try and take the ‘back roads’, and that is even worse than the main roads, in addition, if they ‘hurt’ the driver, it will be days until someone finds you. Most people here ‘can’ or ‘jar’ their garden foods, but I haven’t had a very successful garden, as the kids at the center run through it when playing ‘chase’, and with the lack of water, gardens will get the last water, if people need water to live, so I need to continue to harvest the local street fruit and make my own.  It is very odd, the people here won’t pick this fruit, I keep thinking that I’m doing something socially wrong, but after 15 years here, I haven’t really taken notice, but people rarely pick the fruit that is literally everywhere, ‘free’ for the taking. There are MANY abandoned houses with fruit trees, but really, one doesn’t need to go into the yard, as many of the streets are lined with fruit trees. Of course, I’m picking my juice fruit from the trees on the next street over where there appeared to once be a house, but is no more. There are several types of fruit trees just full of fruit, rotting on the branch. So I’m picking it… people see me, they don’t say anything, so I guess it is fine. Picking the fruit and making juice for immediate consumption is fine, but it doesn’t allow me to ‘jar’ any for the impending winter, thus, if I’m here in winter, I will be forced to pay high prices, as I won’t have any stored.  I can’t even imagine what people that have fled will do, if they return to Dzerzhinsk.  Our once 100k population has dwindled to 33k, houses sit empty, gardens are dead, or overrun with huge unusable produce, completely bug infested. If they return, they will be facing a very bleak, expensive winter.    Right now, I have an abundance of plums (for jam), grapes (but they aren’t very sweet, due to the lack of water), apples (tart, but good for juicing), and squash (canning).   I have beets, potatoes, carrots, pumpkins and even celery but those won’t be ready till September.  I may not be here then, so I may lose all that myself.   I could pull it early, but then, if I do return, it would have been better to leave it in the ground longer…it is all a big decision.    I have been eating zucchini stir-fried, and fried almost every night.   It is at least healthy for me, but I’m getting tired of it.  I can’t imagine what the people do that live here, but I suppose they are used to it.  Bread, a staple for most people here, if you can find it, is now up to 6.50gh whereas it was 4.25gh.  Gas just jumped again today from 15.15 to 15.50 per liter.  I limit and combine ALL trips, no just driving people around.  All trips are combined for efficiency.  I always enjoyed being able to assist people when I would see them walking, and I still do, if I’m ‘going that way’, but gone are the days when I could just go across town and drive people home, if I wasn’t ‘going that way.’    So today I picked fruit, for tomorrow, I will make the juice.    I picked 50 apples from a combination of trees, so I have 3 different types of apples, but it doesn’t matter, as I’m juicing them.  My plum tree at the little house is amazing, and has wonderful plums to eat fresh from the tree, I will eat those, not ‘jar’ them.  I have made a grab stick from my paint pole, and it extends about 4 meters up the tree, so I can now reach many that would have normally fallen to the ground and rotted.  They are wonderful!   I’m thinking that I should ‘can’ some, but it is a huge mess to do all this canning, so when I do it, I like to have a lot and do many different things, canning, the juice, the jam, and even squash.  The water that the canning takes, and then there is the clean up, that is the mess, and with water rations, it is virtually impossible to get everything clean.  You have to sterilize the jars and lids too.  So even for those of us that ARE here, that ‘jar’ harvest our crops; we have the difficulty of canning.  Freezing is out of the question, since the power is completely unpredictable, and will shut off in a whim and we never know when it will resume.  It may go off for use a few hours, or a day or 2, and I can’t lose all that food.  Presently, my freezer only has cooked meat in it, and some grains.  I also have some frozen cherries that I will be using in my shakes, as I need to deplete those.  I can’t risk going back to the states and the power going out for days…what a mess that would be!   So I don’t purchase a lot of food, and watch what I do purchase, as the ability to keep it fresh, cooled, or just keep the bugs out of it..as that has been an issue in the cabinets.  I keep most of my ‘grains’ in the freezer, due to flour bugs.  I have lost some food because of that, and that is not a loss one wants to take, due to the cost of food.   And then there are the pesky mice, one must keep everything sealed. We do not have cats, due to allergies, but that would solve our mouse problems.

After a long morning of fruit picking, I took 5 kids to the lake, but it started to lightening after only about an hour…so we had to leave.  Took the kids home, and called it ‘a night’, taking a quick 3 minute shower, ending with cool water, preparing for a hot night.  I usually try to stay up until it cools off around midnight…but there is just ‘dead’ heat, no breeze.  The lightening continued till about 9 p.m., and NEVER a drop of much needed rain.  UGH!

8-13-14 – Wednesday, canning day.  Off to the center to can juice and whatever else I can find.  I have about 50 apples, and 6 huge zucchini and squash, plums and some grapes.  I will do what I can, with the time and water I have.  

From the 50 apples, I’m able to compress about 4 liters of juice, using just 2 cups of sugar, so that isn’t bad considering everything was free.  I will keep it stored and share with the kids later.   I also was able to compress 1 quart of applesauce from the apples, the kids will use the sauce on their cookies during tea time.  I made 48 muffins, which I may take to my ‘friends’, if time allows today.  I hate to bother them, as they are busy people, and to have someone wandering around their camp is probably not so good and a distraction for them.  So we shall see.   The kids arrive and want to go to the lake.  Understandably, it is terribly hot, and with the stove and ovens on.it is hot in the center.  I tell them they will need to wait till I’m finished, and they impatiently wait.  It is interesting to me, after all we do to sacrifice for them, it is NEVER enough.  Reminds me of my own 3 Ukie kids…never enough and always ‘entitled’ to more…they complain about everything, like I have some sort of control over their happiness.   I have never played that role, of the ‘fixer’, so what makes them think that I can fix the weather, or that muffins take 20 minutes to bake??  They are very impatient children.     

We leave late for the lake, due to muffins in the oven, and clean up, but when we get there, after only 30 minutes the afternoon ‘rumbles’ and lightening starts…we must leave.  I return them home, as they are so impolite to me, I don’t want them at the center, plus if it does rain, they could be stuck at the center for hours waiting for it to ease.   

Never does rain, but rumbles a lot, so I decide to go and pay my ‘friends’ a visit.  I have 48 muffins, and I can’t eat them all, so let’s give them away!!   They are delighted to see me, and Andrei is gracious to take the box and goes around man to man and hands them out.  He INSISTS that I take some g’ifts’ back with me, and loads me up with 120 liters of water, 100 kilos of gretcha (a grai), 20 kilos of sugar, 48 cans of fish, and 60 1- kilo bags of pasta!  What a kind man he is, and he is so excited to GIVE back.  Leaving their compound, I stop on the way home at Larissa’s as I know she needs water, and some food.  She is gracious to receive it, and then I think of Olga and her 3 nephews, and stop off and give some to her too.  She is very receptive and happy to see me.   She has taken on the responsibility of 3 rowdy nephews, after her twin sister passed away. Her sister had 9 children, an older girl and boy in Kyiv, 2 boys were adopted to the U.S. and are friends of mine, Olga took the 3 younger brothers, and the 2 youngest kids, 2 girls live with Olga’s daughter just around the corner. The 3 boys eat alot and Olga is thankful for any gifts of food. She is part of our food box delivery program when we are able to do that. We were very regularly doing that, but since the war, the cost of food, and just plain lack of food, we are not able to do much. With this wonderful gift from our friends, we can gladly ‘share the wealth’. Tomorrow, I will make a water run over to Artuma and help Dima (Lena’s father), and Lena’s grandparents, but for now it’s too late. 

8-14-14 – This morning, I will go to meet Dima and then off to Artuma to give water to Lena’s grandparents.  I decide that they will all receive food too, as we have so much.  They are happy to see me, and kindly give me fruit for a ‘thank you’ for the water and food.  Very kind of them!  Their granddaughter, Lena’ has been a friend of ours since we started to go to Ukraine, and many years ago, we brought her to the U.S. to study, and she now has a masters in Music Therapy, working in a hospital. I have known her grandparents for many years, lovely people, but grandpa is frail. I’m happy to share food and water with them, they just live, literally on the opposite of town from us. So I combine trips with other stops to deliver food to others over there.

Back at the center, there are things I need to do.  The big job is to cut the grass, but if I do, that means I need to shower, as it is so hot and dusty, I can’t have kids in the afternoon after cutting grass most of the day.  I have little water for 2 showers, as I always shower before I sleep, just to cool off.  I decide cutting weeds/grass is out…People really do not do much at all, just to try to stay cool.   So I need to tidy up some from all the previous week of jarring food.  I was putting away some jars I didn’t use, and open a cabinet, and oh my goodness, what do I find, but 3 exploded quart size jars of zucchini salsa.  Well, I guess you can’t ‘can’ that, as all 3 exploded, and what a mess.  My afternoon is now defined.  The stench of rotten zucchini is terrible.  Interestingly one evening last week, I was laying in bed and heard several ‘pops’ and thought someone was in the house, so I carefully came to the kitchen, but never saw anything.  I didn’t put it together that it was those jars, so I returned to bed.  I’m so very thankful that I didn’t leave for the states without looking in that cabinet.   Took me over an hour to clean up the mess, and with little water.   Worked up a good sweat, and now I will rest till the kids come at 2.  This heat is exhausting, and zaps all your energy.

The weather looks like it will be good for swimming today.   Olya, Vika, Vlad, Larissa and baby Sasha join us today.   We had the best surprise today, as Lera was at the lake today!!  It was great to see her again!    The kids had a good day of swimming, though Artur and Rada just don’t ‘get’ the concept of sharing and playing fair…reminds me of another Soviet I know, i.e. a little leader of RU, little man complex!!  Anyway, Artur, who is small for his age, desires any and all attention.  He will be a pest to everyone, splashing all the kids relentlessly, even after they ask him over and over to ‘stop’!  He completely ignores them, and me, and even when I tell him to ‘get out for a time out’, he will NOT.  So he will not swim with us for several days.  As for Rada (his sister), the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, she selfishly takes the Styrofoam float but never even uses it, it is like, ‘I have it, and no one else will use it.’  On top of that, she refuses to try to learn to swim…she just stands there in the water with the float, while the other kids wait on her to allow them a chance to use it.  Artur will take the float and use it to splash water on others, just being a pest.   So I think it is time for this family to feel a little squeeze of discipline.    A few days of ‘no lake’ may be the wake-up call for them…we shall see… 

These kids find the strangest things to be amused with.  While looking in the bushes around the lake, they spot some bathing suit bottoms, and are fascinated with them.  One needs to remember, that this is a place that people go to the bathroom in the bushes, they change clothes in the bushes, so to me, this is like, ‘ok someone was changing clothes, and they just forgot their bottoms.’  Nothing more then that, but for them, it is a great discovery, and something to be stared at over and over, like it was going to ‘move’ or something.  The kids took turns running to the bushes and glaring at these swim trunks.  Then there was the drunken couples that were basically ‘locked up’ in the water.  Absolutely disgusting, and probably 50 kids there to see this, they were all over each other like animals in ‘heat’.  All I could think was ‘what’ these kids are exposed to.  This same man was not more then 10 meters from us, and was throwing up prior to getting in the water, where he proceeded to repeatedly rinse his mouth spitting in the water…you now understand why I am not swimming in that water!!   The woman on the other hand, removed her bathing suit top and stands there completely exposed to anyone, then puts on ‘his’ over sized shirt, with nothing but her swim suit bottoms.  Then she goes in the water and removes the shirt!  All the while, Vlad and Artur are laughing and staring from the shore.  I walk over to them and insist that they turn around or go somewhere else to play to stop their gawking.  But, there really is nowhere else to play, as the lake isn’t that large, and all can see this couple.  I finally had had enough and motioned everyone to get out, that we were leaving! They didn’t like that, but totally understood that I was extremely uncomfortable with the cheap sideshow of this couple.

We return to the center at 5:45 for Bible study, and I’m so ‘fed up’ with them, I tell Sasha that I’m going to the house for a while.  I return at 6:30 and all the kids are gone, but Larissa, Nastia and Angel.  Sasha said that all the kids were so ‘bad’, he told them to ‘go home’, and I was not to take any of them swimming tomorrow, except maybe Nastia and Angel. He made sure I understood, as to not give in to them.

Nastia from Artuma (who is fled the war from Donetsk, and has a 6 month baby) calls Sasha saying she is out of water, and do we have any.  We do, so Sasha and I drive over to Artuma to give her some water.  On the return home, there is, what appears to be fog in the air, but why, is the question?  Later in the evening, I realize that it is smoke, and it smells like burning tires, or something horrid.  Don’t know what is going on, but I hear shooting in the distance, machine guns, not big booms, but ground combat. 

8-15-14 – I’m told that RU is heading this direction with ‘humanitarian aid’, or that is what they say, as probably just a cover to bring more artillery to the separatists in Lughansk.  RU is not allowing the Red Cross to transfer the shipment into UA or their trucks, thus one must question not only their motives, but ‘what’ is in those trucks.  One would need to think, if it is all good, then what do they have to hide?  Nothing, they should gladly allow anyone to look in the trucks.  Now they are driving those trucks to the border crossing that they have control over and the trucks will cross over into UA there.  Hummm! doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this out.!

I am supposed to meet Vitally, Sergey, (Larissa’s husband) and little Nastia to go to Novghorosk to get water today.  There have been a lot of explosions from that direction, so not so sure about that today.  One never gets really used to this, but you have to continue to live, so risks are taken for the sake of one…or many in this case.

Well, 4:00 rolls around, and Vitally and Kristina show up at the gates, ready to go, so we are off.  We stop to pick up Sergey and then to Sveta’s to pick up bottles.  Sasha prays over the trip, and off we go. Go through the UA check point, and make it to Novghorosk no problems.  You never know when there will be a ‘strike’ and since this block post was once a separatist’s block post, they know EXACTLY where it is, and could try to hit it from a distance at any time.  I have no trouble getting through; it is just the whole process OF getting through.   You slowly pull up, show all your documents… get out of the car… and they look around…explain what you are doing… where you are going, then usually they wave you on. 

We arrived to the same house we got water from before.  We fill the bottles in record time only 1.5 hours, and head back to Dz. With Nastia in Artuma being our first stop.  Then Lena’s grandparents, and then off to Zabalka to off load the rest of the bottles, drop Sergey and then home to try to get the yard cut.  With only one shower a day, I must combine everything for max. efficiency.  If I’m going to cut grass, make it in the evening when I’m already hot, and it isn’t so hot outside, and I’m NOT going anywhere else…as I get really dirty when I use the weed eater.  We have no mower, just a weed eater, as there re too many stones, and the ground is too uneven for a mower.   After dropping Sergey, I go over to Sergey Shafer’s house, as he needs food.  Igor lives with him, so I give them, sugar, canned fish, gretcha, pasta and 3 large bottles of water.  Igor, who is the only one home, is very appreciative, and thanks me profusely.  Then I head home to cut grass, but not before passing the ‘water truck’ with 50+ people standing getting their water.  Well, ‘brown’ water, which is only good for flushing toilets, and boiling the heck out of it to wash dishes…Maybe bathe, but doubtful on that.   Drinking is out of the question…at least for me. People have been there most of the day waiting for this precious water.  I’m thankful for this family in Novghorosk for their generosity to give us their water, so freely and without question or complaint.  

I finally get home, and am able to complete cutting both the yards, the center and the big house.   I’m physically exhausted, but more work needs to be done before calling it ‘a day’.  I’m already hot, so might as well just continue.  Next project is to fix the motion sensor light on the house.  Security is vitally important in this crisis we are living in.   Everything needs to be working, for maximum protection.  These motion lights will deter most from coming in the yard.  I’m 20 ft. up a ladder, and the bulb doesn’t want to cooperate.  I’m alone, and if I fall, I’m quite doomed.  I just cry out, ‘in the name of Jesus, help me.’  I climb down the ladder, and try the switch, and the bulbs works!  Thank you God for divine intervention.   Off to the shower and then sleep. 

8-16-2014 – It is just HOT, there are no words about that.  Another hot night, I wake up with back pain from the day before.  When it is so hot, you just never really get restful sleep.  Tossing and turning in the heat, and then intermittent booms, you just don’t wake in the morning feeling 100% rested.   Absolutely no breeze, no way to cool off…Americans are spoiled, to say the least…A/C, clean water, access to food, water, transportation, and freedoms that I don’t know if Ukraine will ever be able to grasp.  Today, I just have to breath and rest/recover from cutting grass…I go over to the little house and try to complete the video on plum preserves.  In my boredom, I made some YouTube videos on how to make all natural juices, and the apple tree at the little house is a nice backdrop. 

I know that we have Bible study tonight, and we shall see who shows up, since swimming is contingent on Bible study attendance.   Don’t know how that will go….   Well, we ended up with only Nastia, Angel and Rada, because none of the other kids would come to Bible study.  It is terribly sad that after all this time, they are so disrespectful to Sasha and really to me, and the work we are doing…  so ungrateful.  I have often thought, ‘if I could sell everything, I would leave Ukraine’, the people don’t seem to care one way or another, and they will ‘turn on you’ when you least expect it.    Yes, I have so much invested, but we sow and sow, and do we see fruit.  What does God say about fruit…if the vine isn’t producing, cut it off, so where do we draw the line, how do we know when ‘enough is enough?’ 

8/16/14 – Wish List!

I think today is my mom’s birthday!  I always get she, my grandfather and my sister, all confused, because they are right in a row, 16, 17, 18 of August. She is 83, but extremely active, walking 3 miles every morning, cuts her own lawn, takes care of my step-father and her mind is clear…I miss my family, and this day makes me think about my mom, and what she may be doing, but I can’t call her, so I’m sending my best thoughts and prayers her direction.

I’m working on videos this a.m.  It is terribly hot.  The phone rings at 12 and it is Andrei wanting to know if some people can come over and bring sweets for the kids.  I say, ‘sure’ so I RUN and get dressed and ready for guests.  About 12:30, the big suburban pulls up; UA flag proudly waving in the wind, and to the door comes a stout, hefty man.  He introduces himself as Dr. Seva. and enters the center, and looks around, asking ‘where are the kids.’  At which I tell him that the kids don’t arrive till 2 p.m. and we will go swimming.  He asks if I will bring them over to the compound at the stadium, and I say ‘sure’.  Then he asks, ‘if I could make a wish list, what would it be?”  I’m shocked, and I ask if I can think and bring a list when I come at 3 with the kids.’  He says, ‘sure’, and so we arrange to see him at 3 at the stadium.    WISH LIST.  WOW, can you imagine!!!  Never really thought too much about that, but what an incredible thing to be asked.     

The next thing I know the men are bringing in boxes of aid.  I have no idea what is in the boxes, but later I see, cookies, cookies, cookies, candy, tea, and toiletries.  It is great stuff!!!   I’m going to try and combine it with the other stuff I received Wednesday and make larger aid bags to give away.  It is very difficult to keep all this straight, and not duplicate people, and aid.   I’m working on a way to advertise the aid, but at the same time, not draw attention to ourselves…that is a dilemma.   If you advertise, people will come from everywhere, arriving at 6 in the morning banging on the gates, demanding food.  We are systematic about the aid, with people needing documents, and trying to not give to the same people/families over and over, as there are so many people in need.  It is hard to keep track of everything, and then you run out and some aren’t served, and people get angry; you just can’t win. 

3:00 – we arrive at the stadium and the guards don’t know who we are or what we want…it takes a while for the Dr. to arrive, but finally he does, in this little range rover all-terrain vehicle painted in camo.  He tells us to climb in and he drives us around the field.  The kids find it very interesting, and fun, though I can see that they are NOT as interested as most kids would be.  They are bored and ask, ‘when they can swim?’  It is embarrassing to say the least.  Such boring children, not understanding the opportunity this is.  Vlad acts like he is 4, Rada, Olya and Artur are impatient, Nastia is the only one interested.   The men at the canteen offer them bread and they rudely refuse it, though Nastia gladly accepts.   I meet with the commander, his assistant, and the good Dr. about what kind of aid we need.  He receives my list and we go out for a photo shoot, and then drive to the gate in the range rover, and say our good-byes.  The good Dr. promises to ‘deliver’ the goods…just don’t know when.   We shall see.

Off to the swimming lake, all goes well, though Artur just can’t behave, and he can’t take his hands from people.  Vlad complains several times about Artur and his obnoxious behavior bothering everyone.  It is odd that he doesn’t see how annoying this is to ALL others.   I finally have had enough, and instruct all out of the water, and give them all cookies and milk and we leave.  Frustrating at best, though I know that they desperately need good snack foods, I just hate to make them think I’m rewarding such poor behavior.

8/17/14 – Sunday – Early morning after a HOT night.. I woke in a sweat…didn’t sleep much at all, but have a busy day, as I need to be in Artuma by 9 to pick up Nastia , mom and baby, then to Dima, and then to Ira and Vouldia, then back to the center for church.   We had 18 for church, and it was good.   Again, Sasha seems to go on to long, and I think it is more about ‘time’ for him, then content.  It is like he must ‘go’ till 11:45 or longer, or he hasn’t preached a sermon or something…people are hot, tired and want to move about…anyway, we have a great tea time, and then I return everyone home, where I go through the check point and speak with the soldiers and give them a Bible tract.   These fellows at the block posts are probably the lowest on the rank and file.  Though they are nice, they are the ‘grubby group’ and they literally sleep their in tents, using the fields as their toilet…and no shower, to say the least.  They need God too, so I give them a smile and a tract.  One never knows who you may give a tract to that it will impact and change their life. God does that…changes your life.

Back at the center, Larissa and Alena are there for Bible study, and they are singing.  2:30 Olya, Rada and Nastia and Angel show up.  Not really sure why Angel comes, as he makes more noise then baby Maxim…but he is here…  They have the study and about 3:30 after the study, Artur and Artum show up.  I inform Artur that he will NOT be swimming the next time we go, at which he proceeds to make excuses, as usual for his behavior and why he wasn’t there.  At that point, Sasha decides to give them the lecture about their disrespectful behavior towards adults, and the center.  Olya interrupts repeatedly trying to make excuses for her and her siblings behavior…typical teen, but disrespectful none-the-less.   I have decided to impose a t-shirt over the bikini rule, as the girls are showing too much flesh, well, actually Alena is showing too much flesh and allowing the boys to touch her.  Nastia’s bathing suit is very skimpy, though she is just a child.  Rada is wearing underwear and NASTIA’s TOP, so we know that is too small!   They all complain about the t-shirt, but I tell them, ‘if you go with me, you wear it, or I don’t take you.’  They really balk at this.   Way too much flesh in Ukraine, that is probably why many people are in the predicaments that they are…sex too early, babies too early, single parenthood, drinking to deal with their problems and employment.  It is a vicious cycle that they have gotten themselves into, and it is going to take a few generations to get them out, since it didn’t get this way overnight.   

4:00 and the kids want to swim.  So I agree to take them for 45 minutes, since I want to be back to be a part of our church services in U.S. via SKYPE.  Thank God for SKYPE!!   Alena , Nastia and Angel are the only ones allowed to go, as it looks like rain, but no rain yet.   Swimming is fine, and few are there…the t-shirts are fine, though Alena complains hers is ‘too big’.  What she needs to say, ‘it isn’t skin tight!’ which is what she really means anyway.  Thankful for these soccer jerseys, many have been given away (Latoya Washington), and we will use them, just have to wait for the right time, but for now, some are being used as bathing suit cover-ups…  Stopped at the ATB on the return home and was waiting for Nastia to purchase bread for her family, when I military truck comes down the street with a very nice silver car behind it.  It was a very nice sports car, but front and back windsheilds were blown out, and part of the driver side.  The front bumper was literally just hanging as it was bumping down the road.  All I can think is, ‘who was in the car?’  I wonder what happened to them, and I pray that they are o.k.

It was very loud night, and either the war has moved closer, or the lightening was VERY close, as the sky lit up till after 2 a.m.  I finally had to get up and close the window due to the noise.    I laid in bed praying as I looked at the flashes in the window rest of the night.

8/18/14 – Monday – the start of another week, and it is a beautiful 63 degrees, and windy   We still have no water, and my tank is OUT.  I’m trying to figure out how to get the other tank to fill, but can’t figure that out.   There is no way I used 800 liters in 10 days.  So that is the project for the day, to get water…otherwise, I will go the center to shower, as we have water there…

My friend, Dema Grischuk sent 3000gh for me to spend on food for people, so I will go today and get it with Igor’s mom, Natasha at the bank.  It requires a bank card, and I don’t have one, so it puts me in a situation.  Anyway, I will probably wait to purchase food till I find out when the food shipments will be here.  Andrew is sending his shipment for Wednesday, but I need to figure out a way to get it here from Khartsyzk is 70 kilometers from here, on a bad road.  The army will bring food to the center for free, so I may just let Andrew’s go, as I unfortunately can’t get to it.  I hate to lose such good food, but I do not know how to retrieve it.  

8/19/14 – Tuesday  – I have NO WATER in my tanks at all, all is gone!   No shower last night, so I will go to the center, as we have little water there to at least shower, or clean up.    The booms continued last night, and though it rained, I guess they fought through the rain.   I know that the UA army is trying to decrease civilian casualties, but in the effort to do this, they are not using as much ‘air’ strikes, thus this war is taking so long.  I can’t imagine Iraq, or Afghanistan, years of internal strife, years of living like a gypsy.  I guess there is an element of, ‘you get used to’ it, but I do not.   I like to shower, that is my thing, and I like to have clean dishes…all else is fine, I can sleep in the heat, I can go without drinking water, but bathing and eating on clean plates is important for me.  So I’m trying to figure out the next steps, if the water crisis continues, or if we see no solution in the fore seeable near future…

Story of the sports car I saw a few days ago…

Received very sad news today while speaking to a dear friend, Vanya L..  Seems his cousin Dima, his father-in-law was killed Sunday at the block post going into Nikitokov.  Dima and his 2 sons went ahead in another car to Artomovsk, fleeing the shooting in Gholorvka, and the father-in-law, his wife and her son were coming in another car.  They arrived at the block post, and shelling started, and they jumped from the car to the ditch.  The father-in-law decided that the car was too far into the block post, and felt he needed to move the vehicle back out of the way.  He ran to the car, and moved it just 3 feet, and the car was hit on the roof by a mortar, killing him instantly.     Well, come to find out, his car was the one that I saw being towed down the street, on Sunday afternoon, after swimming, while I sat at the ATB and waited for Nastia to buy bread.   Vanya said that his cousin was looking for the car, as his mother’s earthy possessions were in the vehicle.  I asked him for a description, then told him I’d seen a very sporty car being taken by the military.  He was shocked…what strange timing.  I didn’t even want to go swimming, as it was too late in the day, and I wanted to be at my church service in the U.S., so I made us leave early…timing was amazing, as Dima had no idea where the car was, or who had the car.  So now I will call Andrei and ask about this car.  The military was taking the car but I did not know where.  As the story unfolds, seems that he had in his wallet a card from being a Koysock and the check point guards held them at the check point for more questioning as they thought he was with the separatists, when he wasn’t at all, but sad none-the-same.  Dima’s father-in-law was thrown out of the car and left on the side of the road to die or was dead, while his wife was in the ditch, threw herself on her son and is in the hospital in Artomosk recovering.   Vanya was very sad at this loss of life, but truly happy that I’d seen the vehicle, and had some avenue to find it.  Now to find the car in Dzerzhinsk. 

8/20/14  –  Wednesday, no water, and we wait…Center of town has water, and Zabalka has none, but it is said to ‘be coming’ .   So we wait…….   Waiting teaches you many things, but generally speaking, I do not like to wait.    When I want something, and be it a reasonable ‘want’, I usually am able to get it, but not in this time…once the pipes are blown, it takes a while to replace or repair, and it is very dangerous for the workers, as russian snipers are everywhere, and would like no better then to ‘pick off’ a civilian.  

I was able to go into town, and look for Dima’s father-in-laws’ vehicle.  I remembered that the registration office backs up to the police impound yard, that one can’t see from the road.  So I went to that office, and went in to ‘ask a question’.   They know I always have many questions about my visa, and papers, so me being at that office isn’t odd to them, and they readily take me in and help, if they can. But today, I was on a mission to get a look in the impound yard. I needed to be in the correct office to get a good view, and as the Lord would have it, I was called to just that office. The clerk starts to talk with me, and I’m literally not looking at her, or basically looking ‘past’ her. So great when God provided a phone call to distract the woman I was talking with, and I quickly moved to the window, where I could clearly see the same vehicle that I saw being moved by the military.  I was able to do all that, without the woman seeing what I was doing.  I quickly concluded my business with the clerk, and left; as soon as I got to the car, I immediately phoned Vanya and let him know ‘where’ the vehicle was, and he was delighted to know the exact location, and said he would relay the information to Dima. 

The weather is still cool, so swimming is out of the question, we can’t cook or paint (no way to clean up),  and the kids complain a lot.  I worked on food boxes with Marina (Sasha’s wife), Larissa (mom of family of 7) , Alena (the neighbor girl) and Aloysha (orphan who we have known 10 years), and we complete 41 boxes!!   Tonight is Bible study for the kids, surprisingly we have 8 for Bible study, and one new boy.  Sasha did a good job and kids seemed interested, though we always have the usual, Olya frustrated that it takes so long, and she is hot, and uncomfortable, agitated that maybe what Sasha is preaching about may apply to her…who knows, but for being 13, she is acting more like 3. The other kids watch her, and watch us to see what we will do. Trying hard to show some compassion, we take her behavior in ‘stride’ and Sasha continues.

8/21/14 –   The day started by Alyosha calling that he had ‘found boxes’, and he had about 14 at his flat waiting for me.  For the food, we sort and repackage food into food boxes.  Boxes, are just too flimsy, and boxes are our choice for easy packing and stacking in the van for delivery.   Anyway, boxes are a HIGH commodity here, and hard to find for sure!  We had help, we had food, but no boxes to put the food in.  So I dash over to pick up Aloysha and the boxes, and then we head to the main market, looking there.  We gather another 6 and head to ATB to see what they may have, and to purchase food, catsup, mayo, and a canned vegetables.  I received a wonderful gift of 3000ghrivnas (about $120.) from a Dema G. in Kyiv, and I’m spending it on refrigerated food, when we are ready to give the boxes out.  We beg the ATB (grocery) to give us their boxes, and they finally concede with 5 boxes!  We literally could see so many useful boxes, yet they would not give to us.  We leave and are off to pick up more potatoes, onions and garlic from Andrei, as we have run out, but have all the other components of the boxes.  For being in a war, he is a very cheerful man…one time he shared with me he is a Christian, that he must have an inner peace about everything, his Savior and his eternity, if something is to happen to him; he knows where he will be.  It is such a blessing to have a man of faith in the UA military.   

Upon arriving to the compound, I asked for 1 bag of each, but he insisted that I receive 4 bags of potatoes, 3 bags of onions and 1.5 bags of garlic, and ANYTHING else I wanted.  I took some toilet paper, as we had none left for the boxes; thought that would be useful, to say the least.   Also, their cook, what a nice man, I don’t know his name, yet, but I will get it!   He is just always so happy to see me, and happy to help in any way.  Such a nice man, and never will take anything from me!    He insists on a photo with me for his phone, so I do this.  He just is a very nice person, and I can’t imagine that he is away from his own family to volunteer for this army.  Anyway, all the men are very nice and many speak English so it is a perfect set up for either English club, or Bible study.  I have given out so many bible tracts; I have had to make over 200 copies for the food boxes and the army men.   We may not be able to sit with each individual soldier or family and share Christ with them, but we can ‘plant a seed’ with these Bible tracts.

Aloysha and I return to the center to begin repackaging the potatoes, onions, and garlic.   We give Alena a call and see if she will agree to come and help.  Her grandmother went to the hospital today with chest pains, so we are worried about her, as she is really the only caregiver for Alena, but Alena says she is home and laying down resting.  Alena agrees to come and help at 2.  Lera calls and agrees to come and help too!  So we have a good group, and we can get it done.  We make 24 MORE boxes, to add to our 41, so now we have 65 food boxes to give out!  Praise the Lord, from whom all blessings flow.  We will be able to bless these people with 30 lb. boxes of food and spiritual food.   I’m really excited because Valia is supposed to return tomorrow, thus, our outreach can be bigger, as my language skills are poor, that I can’t go and visit orphans, and ‘new moms’, so I’m really excited that she is returning, plus, I miss her terribly!  The food distribution will be so much better with her input and organization, and God can be glorified, not me or anyone.  I’m not able to explain the ‘where’, ‘who’, ‘how’ of the food boxes in their language, so when we give the boxes, people think that they are from ME, personally, so it will be great to have this cleared up.  

Vanya L. called today also, letting me know that Dima did receive his father-in-laws car…sadly; it was striped of everything including the spare tire.  The people were fleeing to Artomosk, so the car was filled with their belongings, and now this man has nothing.  Dima lost his wife, (the father-in-laws daughter) 2 years ago, finding her dead on the floor from unknown causes, and now this.  He has only his 2 sons, and his mother-in-law and her son left.  It is just terribly sad, why so many people need to suffer, I say this so many times to myself, but more to the Lord, a son losing his father, wife losing her husband, mother losing her son, brother losing a brother; the list goes on, and there is no reasonable explanation.

I spend so much time alone, God has become my bouncing board for conversation. I question my purpose, and why did God have us build this community center, here, in this place, and then allow this to happen…the future is so uncertain, and quite scary; there must be a plan, one that will unfold in time, but the waiting is difficult. God almost always never just lays it all out, but shows us a bit at a time, when we can receive it, and digest it.

Chapter 16

8-10-2014 – 

The morning started out very well, though the continued lack of water is incredibly difficult.  Church was very good, and encouraging.  It is great to come weekly set aside some time to come together to encourage one another, in a not so encouraging environment. One focus was how to help our church members, and how to channel help to the community.  Looking at ‘what’ we were able to do, we decided to pool our 6-liter containers, and any other water container, and drive to Novghorosk to fill and distribute to the community.   After a wonderful compote and bounty of fruit for a light lunch, we gathered all our bottles and left for Novghorosk.   Arriving at a home, Sasha talked with the bespectible  owner, it seemed as though he knew him, the man graciously told us to ‘help yourself’.  We had 73 – 6 liter containers, and 22 – 1 ½ liter containers, and a few odds and ends.  The process lasted about 1 ½ hours, relatively quickly for the number of containers we had.  We drove back to Dz., going back through the same check point that we drove through on the way.  The UA army men were respectful and polite, though official; such a different scenario from the previous regime that held that same checkpoint.  We arrive back to Dz. and start distribution.  People were very thankful, and profusely told us.  We used this opportunity to minister to them, explaining that we used our God given resources to benefit the most, and that God loves them and desires a relationship with them.   Everyone listened, and Nastia’s mother has requested times and places for worship!  Exciting!!  

RAK (Random Acts of Kindness) goes sideways: 

You’re thinking way too much like an American, if you think that help is always wanted and embraced.   Today was such an occasion. During church this morning. Ira, mentioned that my old house in Seravna (North) district was hit by a bomb.  When I first started this work in UA, we were in a different location across town.  As our work became more intense with orphans and shelter children, we decided to move closer to the area that is home to these groups.  The internot (where orphan school age children live and attend school) and the orphan shelter (temporary housing for orphans), is just a few blocks from one another, but fairly far from the Servana district.  Seems the separatists are still shooting in the direction of Dzerzhinsk, and they can only reach the Servna/Artema district.  Unfortunately people in that area think that the UA army is doing this shelling, ‘why’ they think that can only represent what they hear on the T.V. propaganda news.   So, today,  during water deliveries, we were in that area, and I wanted to go by and check with my former neighbor, Andrei to see if he needed anything.   Andrei has always been very nice to me, and for years he kept an eye on our adjoining house, when I was in the states.  He is a Christian, miner, and a strong family man, with 3 daughters.  Years ago, Sveta, his (former) wife, left him, leaving him to single parent the girls.  I always tried to give the girls something special from the aide when I would come for a visit, as he didn’t have much in the way of ‘extra’ money to spend on them.  So, when I heard that ‘our’ house (the house is a duplex, he on one side, us on the other) had been hit, I wanted to make every effort to help him.  Sasha and I had completed our ‘water’ run, and we were on the way to the Servana house, when I saw a man in the road with a motorcycle nearby. My thinking was, he needs help…we have at the very least water to wash his serious wounds. I pulled over and Sasha jumped out to assist. I got the water, and he took it over to help, I pretty much stayed out of the way. About 10 minutes passed, and his knee had a serious puncture wound and would not stop bleeding. I have a first aid bag (thank you Judy Henderson) in the car, so I grabbed it looking for gauze, when the man made a comment at me about being an American. I never said a word, nor could we figure out how he figured it out, but he stood up, threw the jug of water to the ground, and started to come at me, when his knee gave way. He threaten to kill me, and said that ‘I’, an American started this war’. Calling me several horrible names, along with our government, he cursed me over and over. His daughter (about 11) who was on her bike (so it seems maybe they live close by), kept saying, ‘Papa, she is a good lady, she is trying to help you…she isn’t doing anything to you but give you water, and help.’ He yelled at her, telling her to ‘shut-up’, but she repeated it again, when he called me more bad names. Sasha all the while is trying to calm him, though he is yelling very loudly. Sasha told me to get in the van and be ready to leave. He tried to calm the man, but he wasn’t going to calm. Sasha desperately tried to stop the bleeding of his knee, but he was too agitated and though yelling at me, ‘thanked’ Sasha for stopping, at which Sasha replied, ‘it was my friend (me), who insisted we stop and help you.’ It was all sort of amazing, yet sad, because he couldn’t discount the fact that I stopped to help him, but I represented a government that he believes caused this war. I can only assume, he was trying to wrap his mind around all that, but couldn’t do it. Additionally, I predict he was in shock, from the injuries of the accident. And lastly, I think he was pretty upset with himself, as he wrecked his motorbike, scattering his cell phone in pieces across the road. I discreetly shot photos prior to the outburst, he didn’t know or see me doing it, so that wasn’t the issue either… I was thankful I could leave with my life, as sadly, RAK takes a sharp 180…

Chapter 15

8-9-14 –  Everyday I’ve been taking the kids to the lake.  It is refreshing for them, though personally, I will not go in that water.  It is disgustingly dirty, I have no idea ‘where’ that water comes from, what runs off in it, and what people are doing in it, but the kids are fine with it.  There are no areas where you can see ‘bottom’, and that is one thing I was taught, don’t swim where you can’t see some bottom. Though we contemplated not going today due to it being Saturday thinking it would be crowded, today was like any other; about 40 random people, a mixture of young and old, enjoying the lake on a 90 degree + day.  Kids were frolicking in the water and working on their swimming skills. 

About 4:00 a group of gypsies arrived.  They placed their blanket about 10 feet from me.  There were 7 adults, and 11 children, several under the age of 5.  The kids immediately wanted to go in the water, as kids would have…and the adults went in with the little ones.  After about 30 minutes the adults emerged from the water, and started to prepare their picnic, pulling 2 benches together working on both sides of the bench, with some working towards the water, others their backs to the water.  I was busy watching our kids, Nastia, Angel, Artur and Rada can’t swim, so I keep a close eye on them.  Never far from my mind is the death of my friend Oleg Shafer, just 21 and he knew how to swim…so here I am with other people’s kids, I’m going to be extra careful to watch them…

The gypsies aren’t watching their kids, and I remember they had one little girl, Erica (they called her name several times), blonde and blue eyed, about 14-15 months old.  All of a sudden the patriarch of the family says, ‘Erica, Erica.’ and goes running towards the water…the child is floating face down in the water.    He snags her from the water, flips her limp body over, and started smacking her on the back…I so much wanted to get up and help them, as they did not have the child at the right angle to get the water out of her lungs.  She didn’t respond.  He just kept smacking her, and finally, she threw up a lot of water.  Looking at them, she still did not respond to them…they brought her over to the blanket area, and held her upright…not a good idea, and she was limp and did not respond.  She appeared to be in shock, and could not breath…they turned her over and smacked her again and again on the back and she threw up again, and this time, she started to cry, …good sign…though they accomplished it in a very odd way, it worked.! I wanted to help, but did not, I just silently prayed for that child, that she would survive this ordeal.  The grandfather was extremely upset that no one seemed to be watching the children, and he verbally scolded all the adults.  They were well ‘shamed’ for their lack of attention to the little ones in the water…but for today, it wasn’t Erica’s day to go to the Father. 

Chapter 14

8/6/2014

I decided yesterday to purchase some white-wash and finish the summer kitchen at the little house.  It would really make it look better, not that anyone sees its, but all the same, house maintenance.  I stopped at the home store and purchased what I thought was ‘paint’.  well, about burned my hands off…I THOUGHT I bought more chalk paint to finish the house garage, instead I think I bought some kind of remover, containing acid.  Interestingly, I mix this stuff with my hands, and last time I did it, it was really difficult to get off my hands, so this time, I decide to wear gloves…thank GOD, really, truly, God must have put that memory in my head…as I poured the stuff into the water, and started to stir and stir, because I had gloves on, I didn’t know that it was getting hotter…I could still feel lumps in it, so I decided to stick my hands in and mix, like I usually do.  Stuck one hand in and it was like BOILING water, and immediately pulled it out, but by then it was a boiling liquid…I grabbed the bucket handle and threw it in the grass, thinking that I was going to have some chemical explosion.!!   I immediately started rinsing my gloved hand, and throwing water on the steaming mess on the ground, it was totally weird…but I came to the conclusion it was a ‘remover’ for chalk paint, instead of the paint..I’m so thankful God prompted me to wear gloves. 

With no ‘white-wash’ to complete painting the garage, my attention turned to ‘fruit’ to make juice.   Juice is now doubled in price, so I’m taking advantage of the fruit we have and making my own!!    I have apples, plums, purple grapes, green grapes.  This is all a new adventure, but since we have such an abundance of fruit, I thought I could figure out some way to make juice.  I boiled grapes before leaving for the lake for afternoon swimming.  I will put them through the grinder and then working on apples, when I return.

The kids are enjoying going to ‘the lake’, but only Aloysha can swim.  I decided, if they go to the lake, then they must learn to swim.  The best way for me, is to find Russian speaking youtubes on ‘basic swimming’.  Everyday that they want to swim, is everyday they watch a video.  Once arriving at the lake, they must spend the first 20-30 minutes practicing what they learned.  Kids came at 2 and we watched a video on swimming.   Yesterday, Rada and Artur REFUSED to stay for Bible class, and I told them that they would not be allowed to swim the next day (today), if they left.  They left, and I told them, ‘you will not go tomorrow.’    But, here they show up, thinking I was going to allow them to go swimming.  I told them, ‘NO’, and Rada stomped out, and slammed the door.   About 20 minutes later and their mother calls asking why they can’t go… and apologizes for them.  Like that is supposed to do anything for me!!!   It really upsets me that this mother won’t allow them to reap their consequences.   So she pleads and pleads, it is totally ridiculous to say the least, Olya is desperately trying to explain that they were disrespectful and that this is the consequences.     She isn’t ‘hearing’ me at all, and she doesn’t seem to understand why I can’t bend the rules for her kids!!!.     The conversation ends, and about 10 minutes later, they both show up, Artur and Rada!   Rada appears to have been crying, and comes in and immediately apologizes for her behavior, Artur, as usual says nothing…just like he is so innocent.     I told them ‘NO MORE CHANCES, LISTEN TO ME< OR YOU WILL NOT GO WITH US AGAIN…   COME TO BIBLE STUDY< OR YOU WILL NOT GO AGAIN.!    They seemed to get that I really meant business here, and I wasn’t going to take this anymore!      So after watching the videos, we were off to the lake for swimming…    They both were MUCH better, and thanked me profusely for allowing them to join us.  I dropped them all off at home, and returned to the center, to try to make the juice.

Well, we have no internet…which means, no talking to the family today.  I guess I will cook/bake,  glad I had looked at my juice recipes before we lost the internet.   One has to plan that when you leave your house, you may lose power, or water while you are gone…so, you always have the dishes done, toilets flushed, etc.   I usually try to write the family in the a.m. so that they know how the day is going…and then if I lost internet, they will at least know what was going on prior to that.   The things you have to think about when you live in a war zone.   I used to leave the house with everything…documents, computers, change of clothing, etc.  It was terrible to go out, very difficult, but now since the army is here, I do feel better, but still, everything is packed, and I can be out of the house in about 10 minutes, if need be.  This is not a way to live!

8:27 p.m.  is the precise time it started to RAIN, we desperately need rain!!!  And this is the first rain we have had in probably 3 weeks, maybe longer!!!   The ground is terribly cracked, and the gardens are burning up.    Please let it rain and rain!!!  

9:05 p.m.  still raining!!! And still no internet…..

9:15 p.m.  the rain has slowed to a drizzle;  like a faucet, it seemed to turn on full blast, and then just STOP.   Praying that it may start again, it would be perfect to drizzle all night…and saturate the ground.    But I’m thankful all the same to this rain we had.  God knows our needs, every one of them.  He is in control.  There have been so many times, that I have questioned, and then later, we see the reasons why things happened that way that they did, or plans changed, whatever the reasons…it always come to light.  God never fails us. 

Tried to watch the T.V tonight, thinking that maybe some channels were freed up…well, no internet, no T.V., which may be a good thing, since so many people believe the lies they are playing on the very few channels we have;  I have never seen so much junk on T.V.  they basically have 5 types of shows.  T.V. consists of cartoons, news propaganda, soap operas, old movies, and music T.V.  That’s it!  News is the most obvious, and do they have a lot of news, and BAD news at that, incorrect news.   News showing old war footage, some not even in  UA at all, but putting captions on it like it is happening today!  People believe that junk, it is like, ‘where is your brain??   Cartoons are just STUPID, can you imagine 24 hours of that type of stupid stuff.    Music T.V. is nothing but SEX, beauty and emptiness, unfortunately, SEX SELLS!!!   That is the same with ‘soap opera’s’, sex, and do they have sex, all over the T.V.  just like, WOW, shut that junk OFF!!!   I just think about what kids minds are being filled with!!  So no T.V. and no internet…. Hummm…so time to try and get some rest.

Woke up at 3:15 a.m., it is hot in the house.  I sleep with the windows closed and locked, because there have been incidents where people have been kidnapped from their homes.  Since I’m the last American here, I can’t take any chances on this.   I must be very careful.   I’m so exhausted by the time I go to bed, I sleep soundly, and though I haven’t had ANY problems so far, I don’t want to ‘test’ the situation.  Granted the dogs go crazy when there are people on the street, but again, I might not hear them.   Anyway, it was hot, so I lay there trying to find a cool spot on the sheets.  Finally dozed back off….

Got up this a.m. with family on my mind.  I so miss them, and wish there was a way for us all to be together.   The cost of living here is so cheap, it pays to live here, but then there is the fear factor, and language factor.   Plus, some of my family members don’t want to live here,  the U.S. is quite comfortable.  It all goes with the lifestyle in the U.S., it isn’t just them, many people stand under the same umbrella.  When you put criteria on service to others, it seems to take the element of God from it, and becomes your own mission.  Many times God is unpredictable, unplanned, service just happens before your eyes, and you step in and serve the need before you.  One has to be looking, intentional and attuned to needs, and not just be duped into helping, when there is no need but manipulation.  And, you have to get out of your comfort zone.  Service isn’t always comfortable.  It is hot, tiring, expensive, dirty, stressful, sacrificial.  Many people haven’t ventured outside of their comfort circle.  Traveling is scary to them, and would require great sacrifice, which they aren’t ready to give up.  In the meantime, their time and many times money, will be spent on restaurants, movies, Disney and frivolous things for themselves.  Maybe one day they will see that those things really don’t matter to God and that God never put His own comfort before the comfort of others.   

8/8/14 – so we still have no internet at 12:10 pm, still no getting it on the horizon, seems that a tower was hit, so who knows when we may get internet again.   Could be an hour, or a week.  ~~

Miraculous!  Internet returns late afternoon!!  Yeah!!!   Thank you Jesus!!

Andrei (Commander of the local battalion) calls me around 3, asking if we are at the Center.  I have the kids at the lake today, still trying to get through this 95 degree+ heat.  He says that they have some ‘presents for the kids and wanted to bring them by, and what time is good?’  I reply that we will return by 5, as we have Bible study in the evening.   The kids are excited wondering who our guests will be…I keep it all a secret, to just intrigue them!   We swim a bit longer, and then gather our things and leave at 4:30, with plenty of time to return to the center, and tidy up a bit before they arrive at 5.  5:20 comes, and they still are not at the center, so I text Andrei to let him know we are back and that the kids are excited to meet ‘their guests’.

Within 10 minutes of my text, a large army jeep arrives with 6 men.  They are fully armored and suited as professional soldiers.  I meet them in the yard, and they pull through the gates.  They unload and start to carry boxes in the center.  One by one, they bring 10 boxes of various sizes.  We don’t open the items then, the kids want to meet them and see their equipment.  Despite the reality of the situation, it was all very exciting for the kids, and some of them even held the guns.   The men were all VERY nice, and several spoke English.  One, in particular shared that he lived in Ireland for 4 years, and he has returned to UA to help his countrymen.   He mentioned that he is a Christian, so I offered him a Bible, which he gladly received, saying that when he came to UA, his space was very limited on what he could bring.  Unfortunately his Bible didn’t make the ‘cut’.  He was very happy to have a complete Bible.  I was so happy that I could give this precious gift to him.   I would really like to invite them to join us for church, but with church members, Volodia and Ira’s opinions about the war, it may be best not to open that ‘can of worms.’   These church members, though sweet friends, believe that UA is at fault, and that RU isn’t even involved in this war at all, that it is all just small groups of men that don’t want the EU (which they don’t want the EU) in Ukraine.  It just seems so odd to me that people think this way, as when the DPR were in Dz., the DPR did NOTHING for the community, with exception to ‘taking’…they didn’t offer any help, food, water, nothing to the community people, or displaced people.  It was obvious, at best, that they had no interest in any relations with the locals.  They were only after a ‘land grab.’     The UA army men, quite the contrary, have been nothing but generous, offering help in any way. 

After unloading all the aid, the soldiers insisted on photos with the kids, and it was all a lot of fun, they were a very good group of men to have at the center to represent the UA army.  We prayed in a circle with them before they left.  They brought wonderful gifts, of: soaps, shampoo, toothpaste, toilet tissue, napkins, cleaning supplies, cookies, and a box of beautiful fall jackets for our young teen girls.  They left, and we continued our Bible study, and later had more conversation with the kids about the soldiers and their job, ending with how we need to respect them, as they are our physical protectors. 

Chapter 13

I have been reflecting today on my time here…purpose, God’s presence, and the future.  I know for now, I’m supposed to be here, as hard as that is as I miss Laila and Madden, I miss the rest of the family…I don’t miss the fighting, I don’t miss the conflict, and I don’t miss the gluttony of Americans.  The sheer self absorbed culture we live in…where ‘things’ are more important than people…self is more important than others…our own agenda is more important than the suffering of those around us.  I’m not talking about enabling people, but there are people in need, and we completely ignore them, as we run to get our manicure, have a business lunch, fill our time and space with things that have no eternal consequence, just FLUFF.  I call it ‘cotton candy’.  So many make the excuse, that these activities ‘build eternal bridges’, oh that is such a great justification…imagine that I must go OUT to lunch with someone, instead of having them in my home…  which would you like??   I still remember Belinda Curtis (the wife of our former pastor, he is still a pastor, just in a different state))) talking about making it a priority to have someone in her home EVERY Sunday lunch.  That was a priority for their family.  I still remember being one of those families, one Sunday.    She had prepared a lovely lunch, at a fraction of the cost of eating out, and we spent a wonderful time fellowshipping at she and Tim’s home.  Not rushed by someone needing ‘our table.’ and the kids would play in the other room, while the adults talked about ‘life’.    We just don’t do that anymore…we are just too busy with…what?  fill in your blank ___________.   I hear pastors teach about, ‘what fills our time’, yet I see them, just the same, running to have a ‘6 buck’ (Starbucks), or a ‘business lunch’ to ‘minister to people’.  What about, ‘let’s meet at the park and bring your sandwich and thermos of coffee?’  Let’s save that $6. And give to the poor, give to a mission…but don’t spend it on ourselves…it is just too much.  And that lunch, ‘pack a sandwich and meet at the park…it’s free’, and the fresh air will do you some good.!    How about a ‘new leaf’…Sunday lunch at HOME and invite another family to join you.  The problem is that everyone thinks it needs to be a 4-course gourmet’ meal…  what about soup and salad; or just salad.  How many of us NEED TO reduce our ‘size’, and why not do it in the name of ministry???   WOW, new thought there…  Reduce our food consumption, and give the savings to a ministry …  there are many good ones.  And I HIGHLY recommend a ministry that works with people, NOT animals…People need help before animals, that is what the Bible teaches…regardless of what ‘we’ feel.   People always ‘trump’ animals.    I’ll step down off my soap-box now~~ Thanks Belinda for setting the example for all minister wives…Rest in Peace, my friend

Back to reality…

8/5/14 – Took the kids to the lake today, after dropping them off, I returned to the house.  Was making dinner, when I see a BUS in front of the center, at which I immediately think that I have parked my van too far in the road and the bus can’t get by.  I grab my keys and start to go to the center, and when I get to the gate, I see, ‘soldiers’, or what appear to be soldiers.  My adrenaline shoots through the roof.  I immediately get distressed, thinking… separatists have invaded, as I did hear frequent booms earlier in the day.   Plus, Andrei had told me many times, the separatist even dress as soldiers to fool people.  So I slow my ‘gait’ down considerably, and frantically call Andrei, praying he picks up the phone, at which he does, but says that he can’t talk as he is in a meeting.  I say, ‘but there are men at the gate, I don’t know who they are or what they want…’ The men at the gate are 2, but I can see to my right there are about 20 others just steps away, and I can see others to the left.  The 2 men at the gate are telling me to ‘shut off my phone’… ‘put down my phone.’ …  ‘turn off my phone.’   I frantically explain this to Andrei…   Then I get to the gate, and the man with a machine gun, is demanding me to ‘open the gate.’  I open the gate, and hand him the phone…he says, ‘yes sir, yes, sir, yes sir, yes, commander.’   Then hands me the phone and says (in English), ‘its o.k. you are fine.’’   At that point I was physically shaking, and the 2^nd man touched my arm and said, ‘it’s o.k..’  Then the first man, said, ‘so this is the children’s center? ‘  I said, ‘yes, would you like to come inside?’   He said, ‘I can’t now, but are you Baptists?’  I said, ‘no, just Christians,’ and then he said, ‘me too, I’m a Christian too, sister.’   He kindly smiled at me, and then I knew all would be fine.   He asked me some questions about ‘people’ on the street, criminals, etc.  and I answered, and he immediately sent a squad back over to the ‘mayor’s house.  (The ‘mayor’, as we call him, is our next door neighbor who makes and sells vodka.) We talked for a few minutes, and then other men came and went, listening to my voice, and asking me questions about ‘where I was from…why I’m here.’ All spoke in english.   I then took my chance to run home and get my Bible tracts.  I returned and gave them to the team commander, and he looked at them, and handed them to 2 of the other fellows, and said, ‘you need this.’   It was funny!     So they patrolled the street talking to all the neighbors, and are seeking separatists, hiding in people’s houses.   I hope they flushed some out!!!     Though this encounter began very scary, it ended well, and I thanked God for the relationships, and I continue to pray for their safety and success over this terrible, unjust war….all for the sake of one…

Chapter 12

8/4/2014  

With the gift of the food, brings the responsibility to GET IT TO THE PEOPLE.   After asking church members to assist and not getting a very positive response, I decided to take matters into my own hands, and I KNEW where we could help some people.  After taking the kids to the lake, took them all home, with exception to Alena, as she has helped me in the past, and is a good helper.   Alena is 13, lost her mom 2 summers ago, to probably cancer.  She is in dire need of a mother figure, and though we are friends, I try to keep my perspective on all this.  She lives with her grandmother, as her father has never recovered from the loss of his wife, Alena’s mother, and mostly comforts himself with ‘alcohol’ most of the day. He is a ‘gravedigger’, yes, they dig graves by hand, and most likely, he dug the grave for his deceased wife. The irony of all that is a bit much, but this is reality. I ask if she has the time to help me, and she gladly helps, I think if nothing else for the positive interaction with an adult.  The food boxes are loaded in the van and ready for distribution, so we are off to give food away!!!    IT is always an exciting time to bless someone, brings good cheer to ones heart, not for our glory, but for the glory to God. We are only conduits for Him. We know our ‘calling’, we know our purpose.

I decide that we will go to an area that is full of gypsies, a.k.a. ‘gypsyland’.  God put this on my heart, as they are a somewhat neglected group of people. Gypsies have large families, many children, and are in great need.  The problem is, is that if you aren’t careful, while you are helping them, they are ‘helping themselves’ to everything in your car!  They are quite good at manipulation, and distraction, and though I’m aware of this, I only have 2 eyes, and Alena!   We look for groups of people, and see a group, and turn to the right, slowly heading down the dirty, dusty road…and then I see, oh my goodness, like 50 people come pouring out of this covered area, and start running towards the van.  We are now stopped in the road, surrounded by children and adults.   I get out, and 2 of the woman recognize me, though I think I only know one of them, but I’m not completely sure.  We are being MOBBED to say the least.  They are screaming and yelling at me, ‘’what do you have for me….give me, give me, give me..’’ they are yelling.   I get to the rear of the van and raise my hands to quiet them, and Alena is able to speak and say what we are doing and what we have.  I immediately realize that we don’t have all the boxes, and some are still at the center because we ran out of room, but we don’t have enough for this large crown, though we do have some, and some clothing.  So, we give what we can, and say that we will return in 30 minutes.  They are screaming and yelling, it was scary for me, I’m sure for Alena too.  One of the woman who I thought I recognized, walked over and said, ‘you are Teresa, I know you, you have helped me before, thank you so much for remembering us.’   I told her, ‘you are very welcome, and I will be back in 30 minutes. ‘   She kindly smiled at me.  A kind face in the storm, thank you God!!

Alena and I dash back to the center, and retrieve the remaining boxes, and grab several shorts and dresses made by our friends at Lone Oak Church of Christ.  Wish we had more baby clothing, but we have nothing for babies.  The people are VERY desperate, and I know when I return, it will be ‘survival of the fittest’…it is scary with those grannies…they just get up in your face, and DEMAND that you give to them.   Like you owe them something, instead of YOU choosing to give…there seems to be a hierarchy and some DEMAND the attention, even though I ignored them…and gave to those more quiet in the rear of the pack.    We returned to the house, and they were all on the road waiting….Alena and I held hands and said a quick prayer and we were out the doors and MOBBED again.  We could not even get to the back of the van to hand out the things… yelling, screaming, pushing!!  Finally, we gained some control, and was able to unload the boxes, to grannies ‘screaming in my face’, about how ‘THEY DESERVE’ the boxes before anyone else.   I was able to make my way back to the quiet ladies in the rear, holding babies, and gave them 2 boxes, all the while, probably being cursed at by the grannies~~ but it is fine, it just floats off my back.  God is greater than all this.!   The children are thrilled to have clothing, many are literally naked, or only have underpants on, and most are absolutely filthy from head to toe.  It is sad to see the lack of care of these little helpless ones.     We are able to get the items distributed, and some photos before Alena motions me to ‘get in the van’, seems someone said something to her, and it was time for us to EXIT, still don’t know what was said, but either, we needed to ‘get out’, or they said something impolite to her.   Alena and I get back to the center, and thank God for this time of sharing the love of Jesus with others, even if it was difficult.  I am thankful for the food, and we now have only a few items left, not much to make up bags, but still some ‘odds and ends’ to distribute.  Maybe tomorrow, but as the night ascends on us, the booms are getting more frequent, so I don’t know what tomorrow brings.   Good night.

8/5/14 –  9: 00 a.m. – Bombs continued throughout the night, and they seem to be closer .   As the morning progressed, I could hear the plane(s) and…wow, had an air strike in Dzerzhinsk, could hear it… ugh…I hope they have not invaded us again!    Ukraine must hold on to Dzerzhinsk.  I pray over the day, and know God is in control.  I have a full day planned, as I’m going to try to get over to the little house house and complete my work over there, of sanding and spot touch up painting on the house. 

12:25, returned from the house and completed all work; the booms continue but now (thank the Lord), they are in the distance.   ‘What’ distance is ‘what’ is in question, as my friends in Ghorlovka, Lena and her mother, Ludmilla (in Gorlovka) are writing me now, texting that they are in the cellar and to pray for them, as Ghorlovka is being bombed.  I have invited them to come here and stay, but they can’t leave the shelter of the cellar…too dangerous.   I stop and pray for them.  Ludmilla’s husband Eugenia is a pastor in Ghorlovka, they are both wonderful servants, and have a congregation of about 225, now down to 150.  They hang on for their congregation, and refuse to leave.  I assure them and I’m fine, and that my ‘door is open to them or anyone they know…and that I’m praying for them.’ Their 2 daughters, and their families also live in Ghorlovka.  After praying for this family and their congregation, I decide to bake for the soldiers, as while I was at the other house painting, I was able to pick zucchini.  The men haven’t figured out what the ‘green’ stuff is in the muffins, but they like them, and that is all that matters.   When I’m totally bored, but need to stay busy, I bake zucchini muffins, as we have an over abundance of the vegetable, and it makes great muffins.  I have probably baked 1000 muffins and given to neighbors and of course UA soldiers. 

July 26, 2014 – I realized that I must keep my ‘new friends’ a secret, as they are well hidden at the stadium, and RU can’t find out this information, or they will be targeted, along with the rest of Dzerzhinsk.   Still no internet at the house, thus I sit many nights at the center talking with the family.   Tonight was especially scary, as I could hear in the distance helicopter(s).  Nightly I hear them, they seem to be circling Dzerzhinsk, looking for movement at night since we continue under a dusk to dawn curfew, people should not be out on the streets, this is when the separatists take their chance to advance or invade.   I can hear in the distance machine gun fire, though it isn’t uncommon to hear this throughout the night.  But tonight the helicopter seems closer, so curiosity got the better of me.   I’m sitting at the downstairs window looking out towards the volleyball court, so if the motion sensor lights flip on, I can see what is ‘out there’.  I see on the frame of the window, very bright lights, too bright to be the flood light from the house, and directionally incorrect to be the flood light on the center.  I stand up to look out the window, and ‘oh my goodness’, the helicopter is literally over the top of Zabalka, about a block away, and they have their huge lights pointed to the ground.  I hear machine guns just blocks away.   I could hear the copter getting closer to the center, and it hovered over my house with their lights pointing at the open space, which was the volleyball court behind the house, but next to the center.  Their lights were directly in the windows of the center, I hit the floor  slapping my laptop closed, and lay there behind the radiator, that was as far as I could go, as their lights were too close, and they were probably looking for movement.  I KNOW they would not intentionally hurt me, but in an effort to stop separatists, they could shoot, if they saw me standing at the window, as a threat of any kind.   Earlier, they obviously WERE shooting at something, as I have been hearing the gunfire.      They finally moved on, and I took my chance to run home, must hurry.   The rest of the night was on and off gunfire, but no more helicopters.   I lay in bed most of the night just tossing and turning, and thinking about the events earlier in the evening.  Adrealine racing, my mind is scattered, but I’m able to utter thanks to God for continued protection.

July 30, 2014 – received a call today from Andrei asking if we needed food to distribute to the community.  I said, ‘sure!!’  So he and 7 of his men brought over about 1000 kilos of food:  Egg powder, milk, sugar, pasta, kasha, rice, cookies, condensed milk, gretcha, yellow peas, candy and another grain, (not sure what it is called).  Much of it was in huge bags, and I would need to separate it to smaller bags for distribution.   We stood and talked a while, and they took a tour of the center.  I invited them to come anytime they would like for some rest and ping-pong, basketball, volleyball.  Granted, I realize that this is a war, not summer camp, but they needed some ‘down time’.  The men were all very nice, and we took some photos.  The neighbors were getting an EYE full, that is for sure…But, the food will be a great ministry tool, so we are very thankful, and thankful for this new friend, and that we could minister to the men also.   Unfortunately, there were NO children today, due to the booms in the community, they all stayed home…but it was probably best, though the men wanted to see the kids.   ~~  After the men left, I set to work to start dividing the large bags of food…It was going to be a task alone to do this, sure miss Angela (((((.   Anyway, I got 4 bags ready and went to the neighbors, and gave out food for 12, the first night.  Thank you Lord for this ministry of food.!!   My back is just killing me, and I must get a shower, some meds, lay down…and sleep.… 

July 31, 2014 – Receiving this gift of food from the UA army was wonderful, but now I must repackage the food for distribution.  Several 100 kilo bags of rice, sugar, grains, and more will feed so many people; but it is labor intensive, so I must ask the kids to help me.  Spent most of the day packing food into 2k smaller bags. Fellow sister in Christ, and neighbor, Larissa came and helped, along with a few of the older kids.  We have enough food for about 25 families, with about 1-3 kilos of each product in each box.  I collected boxes when I went to get the plastic bags, so that we could put the food in boxes, the bags are really thin and the less handling the better.    I let the kids know that we were blessed, and that if they knew of families that needed to please let me know.    Olya and Rada brought 2 families.  Larissa knew of 2, then we went to other families in the neighborhood and gave them boxes of food.  They were all so surprised and thankful; we in turn thank the soldiers and gave glory to God for this divine meeting. 

8/1/14 – Due to the events of the 21^st. I never was able to complete the painting of the house.  I needed to finish my painting work, but with my new ‘friends’, and  their ‘gift’ of food, this was keeping me busy.  Today I decided to work on painting the little house, it needed it, and looked pretty rough.  Was able to get the exterior 3-side completed, and it looks great!  Despite the booms most of the day, children came to Bible study, and we had 3.  Sasha stayed, and we decided to deliver a few boxes of food in his area.   Sasha went along with me, as he was familiar with the families that needed food.  It is always a blessing to bless others.  To see their unexpected joy must bring happiness to the Father! 

8/3/14 – Sunday – church today we had 14, 3 visitors, Dima Chorna, Dasha (a friend of Nastia’s), and Vlad, an orphan coming for food.   Artur brought him, and was so silly throughout the service, he finally left, but Vlad stayed.   After services, we had tea and muffins.  I made zucchini muffins yesterday and sure glad I did, because we have not had power since about 3 a.m.   Don’t know what is going on…but hope it returns.    After tea, Ira and Sasha helped me pack food bags, and Ira, Dima and I left for the Servna (north) district of Dzerzhinsk for food delivery.   Stopped off at 3 houses, and then dropped them off at home.  What a great day, then I took the kids to the lake to swim.  Seems there is a lake basically in the middle of town across the street from the Lenin Hospital.  I have lived or visited Dz. for 16 years, and never knew this ‘lake’ was here.  It appears to be ‘man made’, but the kids enjoy it, and it is free,..so free is good, and it gives the kids something to do.