Every season that I would go to Ukraine, more orphan facilities would invite me to come and visit, and expressed a desire to be placed on our distributon list.  One requirement of this, was that I was able to tour the entire facility, visiably see all the children.  This requirement was for 2 reasons, I wanted to see what they were doing with the resources they were already receiving, and I wanted to see what I would define as needs, and what the staff/director defined as needs.  I knew just from my own experience with adopting our son, that the children would be much smaller than what I was used to seeing in the U.S.   It was always very interesting to walk into a room full of children that looked to be 18 months, and told they were 4 or 5.  The hardest to see where children with special needs.  Time and time again, I would see children with Downs Syndrome, cerebral palsy, dwarfism, missing limbs, blind, deaf, burns, all sorts of issues.  I would ask the director, ‘what will happen to these children?’ The response was about 90% the same, ‘they will be sent to Toraz hospital for invalid children.’  I heard this over and over when I asked about such children, and it was when I made a visit to a facility called, “Our Children”, who was asking for assistance, that I met a little girl named, Alla.

I was on the usual tour of the facility, and we entered a room where children were waiting their turn for the restroom.  A bench was lined with children, and at the end was a little girl sitting on the floor.  I asked why she was on the floor, when there was space on the bench.  The director pulled me aside and said that the girl had ‘poor balance’ and could not sit on the bench.  It was then she stood up, and I could see she had no feet, at all.   She carefully ‘walked’ on her stumps, across the floor to the restroom.  I could not fathom the pain she must be in, walking on those bones, then I noticed her hands, and she had no fingers.  I almost started to cry, but decided ‘what good would that do.’ Turning to the director, I asked, ‘how old is this girl, and what will happen to her.’   The director, clarifying her age with the staff, said she was 3, and that at 4 she would be transferred to Toraz’.  That name again, I thought, I must go there, I must see what this place is.  The director and I were standing with another staff member, when I said, ‘I want to go to this place, Toraz…can you give my translator the contact information.’  Both the staff member and the director, looked at me, horrified, and said, ‘oh, no, you can’t go there, it is like a nightmare…it is the worst place…you will not sleep for days.’  Well, that sealed that, I was definitely going, if this child will only missing limbs would be sent to this Toraz place…I would find this place, and I would go. 

It was a few days later, that we would contact this Toraz facility, and make arrangements to visit.  We loaded up the transport van with clothing, shoes, blankets, and some medical equipment, and left on our journey early in the morning.  It was 2.5 hours away, and the facility was said to have around 400 residents, and I wanted to see as many as possible, though I really had no idea what I was walking into. 

Chapter 2:  

In 1998, after years of helping not only those in need locally, but  missionaries around the world, I was able to take a first trip to a country we had been helping, Ukraine.  Through our pastor, I met a woman who lived in eastern Ukraine.  She had been our pastor’s translator on a trip to Ukraine, and their village was quite poor, so we started to support this village in 1994, and provide clothing to them.  They had invited me many times to come for a visit, but I was never able, having small children, and many family responsibilities.  But in 1998, my kids finally old enough to be left with my father-in-law and Rich, I embarked on a month long journey to Russia and Ukraine.  Sights, sounds, smells, people, culture, language; it was much to take in.   It was great to finally put names and faces to the people I had heard so much about.  They welcomed me graciously to their humble homes, and presented me with tea and cookies.  It was an amazing trip, and it was then that I made my first promise to the people there, ‘I will return, with help.’   Additionally, on this maiden voyage, we not only visited hospitals, but orphanages, where I was able interact with hundreds of orphans.  God had placed on our hearts the desire to adopt, specifically a boy…someone that maybe had no siblings, no one to care for him. Rich and I had already discussed this possibility with the other kids, and they were on-board, with an equal desire to give a child a forever family. There just so happened to be a orphan shelter in the town that we had been serving with clothing for 4 years. After making a trip to that facility, I met several boys that needed families, so we were sure that God would place on our hearts the ‘correct’ child to fit in our family. Thus after I returned home, we pressed onward with paperwork, with all 5 of us traveling back to Ukraine with plans to adopt a boy. The process took some time in country, and we unfortunately were not able to adopt from the facility in the town I visited, but we were able to adopt a boy, who was completely alone in this world, had no siblings, and is a ‘gypsy’ by Ukrainian definition, (not ours), who had been left in an open market when he was just 14 months old. He lived at the orphan facility, and was now 4 and a few months. The kids all agreed that this would be their brother, and our son. He seemed like he wanted to go with us, and the orphanage was very happy to have him gone. Seems that gypsy’s aren’t so well liked in Ukraine, and they were even confused as to why we would adopt him. He was very small for his age, wearing just size 18 months clothing at age 4.5 yrs. old. I stayed in Ukraine for the complete process, while Rich returned home with the 3 other children to resume ‘life’ in the U.S. I think my first sign that we were to have issues with our son, was that he set the side table on fire in the hotel room, when he and I returned to Kyiv to complete the paperwork process. I had a plug in ‘boiler’ on the table (though it was unplugged), decided to take a very quick shower, and while in the shower, he plugged it in, as it lay on the well shellacked table. As I exited the shower, he was standing at the door with very ‘big eyes’, staring in the direction of the table, and I could see a strange light, which were the flames. I was able to beat the fire out, but that would be the first of MANY fires with our son…more on that later. James ‘Artur’ became our son in March of 1999. 

We continue to return to Ukraine 4x a year for 3 weeks at a time to take aid back to the poor village, that I made the promise ‘to return…with help.’   I continued to ‘make good’ on that promise.  My vision for the community was much bigger than anyone expected, or anticipated…it was way more then shoes and clothing, but to find a place to either purchase or to build a Christian community center for children and teens in the local community.  What I saw when I went to Ukraine in 1998, was a depressed city, with little for kids and teens to do, and without something to ‘do’, then they will ‘find’ something to do, which resulted in drinking alcohol, and making poor choices.  My vision was to provide a place for kids to ‘hang out’, play games, watch movies, have a bon fire, play volleyball; but most importantly, hear the word of God and have opportunity to respond to it; and it would all be free.  It was a big task, but since we serve a big God, we had full confidence that God would provide.  He would also open and close doors as He would guide our footsteps in the future.

“All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore GO and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and o the Holy Spirit.” Matt. 28:18, 19

I’m not anyone important, just a person that heard a calling from God to   ‘GO’ to a foreign land, a land of the lost, and take something very important to them.  Something foreign to them, but potentially life changing, to those who grasp and receive the message. Something so powerful that regardless of their life circumstances, the hope in the message could alter their future.   It is not a calling I took lightly, and it is a calling that came with great sacrifice.  I will never know the life that ‘might have been’, had I not answered the still, small whisper of God to, ‘GO’…but what I do know is that it not only molded me into the person I am today, but molded my family into who they are today.  My decision to step out in faith and going to a foreign land, was not a simple task, nor a task taken lightly.  It is not a vacation, it is not glamorous or popular, as some may think; and the sacrifices to your personal life and family, always come with ‘a cost’.  God never said ‘going’ would be easy, what He does tell us, is that He is always with us, and will never leave us.’  I find great comfort in that promise, even more so in the last 4 years. 

This work afforded me the opportunity to help families in many situations; divorce, abandonment and adoption, all types of abuse, financial crisis, unemployment, homelessness, to helping young mothers, to something as simple as assisting with child care needs.  This was all done via my employment along with my volunteer work to provide tangible assistance to families in need.  Work was 9-5, but volunteering went into the after hours and weekends of my family time.  I drew upon our church family for assistance when needed, but generally speaking, it was my husband and myself quietly, and subversively helping hundreds of people and families annually.  It was not for attention, as this is what we are called to do.  “Help the orphan and widow, and those in need.” (James 1:27)  So for us, this was just obedience to the word of God; helping others was a way of life, not a chore or something done for attention.  In time, we started a family, and had a son and 2 girls.  We were a happy family, working, serving God, and loving each other.  Weekends were consumed with family fun, boating, beaching, visiting family, sports events and friends.  Our kids were very active, and having 3 kids in 4 years, they were close in age and relationship.  Our close-knit family was happy, and had a strong bond….and then ‘life’ happened.  Sadly, in May 1997 Rich’s mother unexpectedly passed away, leaving a huge gapping hole in our family.  No one expected that curve ball God threw us.  We didn’t see anything good in that, just pain and sorrow.  We were all numb, going through the motions of life.  My father-in-law was in shock, Rich was devastated.  I was left to try and pick up the pieces, care for our children who had just lost their precious grandmother and work.  I fully supported Rich taking care of his father, as that was what was a priority and necessary.  He spent weeks away trying to help his grieving father.  I spent many lonely nights grieving myself, as I had known my mother-in-law longer than I even knew my husband; she was a sweet friend and mother-in-law to me, and a loving mother to Rich, and amazing grandmother to the kids.   It was a difficult time of leaning on each other and God.  After  a year my father-in-law decided to sell the ‘family home’ and move to our town, residing just ½ a mile from us.  Frequent visits to our home and his, and all the love in the world from us and his grandchildren, could never mend his heart.  It was broken, as well as Rich’s. 

After graduating from High School, I moved from my parents home to an apartment, working 3 jobs to support myself through college.  It was a difficult time, but once I set out to accomplish this goal of ‘doing it on my own’, I wasn’t about to admit defeat, or ask for help.  The motto ‘no one is going to it for you’ from my mom was seared in my brain.  Many days I went from job to college, to job, home, sleep, college, job, sleep…days drifted to years, and soon my time in college was over.   I graduated in 1982 continuing to work 3 jobs.  One of my jobs was at an Insurance company.  Back when I was 5, living in that rental house, the people across the street allowed my sisters and I to fish from their dock.  After we moved to the house my mother built, they continued to allow us to fish, and as we got older, my sister started babysitting for them, then myself.  They had 2 sweet girls, and I loved working for them.  As I got older, the husband invited me to work ‘in the real world’ and come to his office to work as the receptionist.  I still think that he created that job, as they didn’t have much ‘walk in’ business, but just the same, it afforded me being with other people, and taught me some office skills.  And it was there, in that office, with those people, that I intersected with my future husband. 

The business in which I worked, was a family business, so family worked there.  It was ‘the boss’, who was the man who allowed us to fish from his dock, his sister and her husband working as underwriters.  They were a lovely family, and to me, in many ways, they treated me like family.  Frequently, the son of the sister would call, and as the receptionist, I would speak to him, then pass the call along to his mother.  Living 4 hours away from each other, it was only by an unfortunate death in my family that we met on Thanksgiving Day 1982.  Due to this death, I had no place to go for the holiday, and the ‘ office family’ invited me to dinner, which is where our lives collided.  Just 10 days after meeting Rich, I broke up with my ‘boyfriend’, as I could see, that wasn’t going to work out, as I definitely had feelings for someone else.  Not knowing ‘where’ those feelings would go, I just knew, that I could not stay in the relationship.  My boyfriend was totally blind-sided, but I too had been blind-sided by the ‘connection Rich and I clearly had at our first meeting.  Christmas came, and the office family invited me over to celebrate the holiday with them, after my own family festivities.  It was great to see Rich again, talking for hours about our lives and how our paths crossed.  From us living across the street from his aunt and uncle, fishing off the dock, then later babysitting their children (his cousins), the death in my family, that connection with that family, all those events eventually brought us to that point in time.   Reflecting on this today, and though God never wants bad things to happen to us, He does use situations for His purpose; I see how my father leaving us, and mom making the decisions she made, took me on a journey down a path that molded me in to the person I was evolving into; and brought me to where I am today; that if any of those events had not occurred, life would have been on a different path. 

After these couple of meetings, Rich and I could both see we were destined to be together.  Meeting for the first time in November of 82’, we married just after I graduated in 1983.  The first years of marriage were a time for fun and games, nothing overly serious, though I was working in the field of social work, where that in itself, is serious and taxing on a person mentally.  Being able to juggle the stress of hearing about life’s difficulties for others, was something that would be a real benefit to me, in the situations that I would face later.  That, and remembering my mom’s motto, ‘ya just gotta put one foot in front of the other, and keep doing the right thing…no one is going to do it for you.’, would be something I clung to. Life can be overwhelming, little did I know what the future held, and how each incident in my life would be a page or chapter in my life book. 

Lesson learned: you can not stay where you are and answer the call of God…you must move, physically, mentally, especially spiritually, God’s path will take you to place you least expect.

Chapter 1:

As a simple housewife from a relatively small town in the panhandle of Florida; never did I think my life would go in the direction it has. Traveling around the globe, landing in Eastern Ukraine, the path that God has taken me on, has been more like a roll-a-coaster, but isn’t that the way it usually is, a road filled with sharp unexpected curves, pot holes, steep hills, and abrupt stops and starts. Stepping out of the confines of the boat on to the water, has been the hardest call of my life, but one that I knew I had to make, because without faith, there is no pleasing God.

As a small child, from a very small town (population 700), my sisters and mom would frolic at the beach on the weekends, ride bikes with friends, and have picnics in the park… we didn’t have a care in the world.  Making tree forts, riding my pink bike with the ‘banana seat’, roller skating, fishing at the local docks and playing with friends was my circle of existence.   Life had few cares, and not many surprises.  I watched my mother struggle to take care of us 3 girls.  Dad had left us when I was just 4; and basically ‘never’ looked back.  It was unheard of in the early 1960’s to just divorce your spouse, let alone, leave 3 young children.  Mom didn’t see it coming, and had to make some hard and fast decisions.  We had one week to pack and leave our home, where upon, we moved in with my grandparents.  In those days, employment opportunities were slim without any training, so mom went to secretarial school, while grandma and grandpa watched us.  For me, as a child, not understanding the impact of the situation, it was great.  We drove around the neighborhood in grandpa’s golf cart, and enjoyed the tree swing in the back yard.  After 6 months of training, mom was able to ascertain a job at a local sheet metal company, where she was the only female, doing everything from receptionist, to bookkeeping, and receiving.  We moved to a rental house, where for another 6 months, she worked to save money to purchase a house for us.  An amazing role model of hard work, she was a display of her Welch/German heritage.  Mom was up by 5 a.m. to exercise, then prepare breakfast for us, see us off to school, work all day and then prepare dinner, tend to the yard, laundry, house chores; she was my role model for a very sound ‘work ethic’.  Day in and day out I saw this example, heard her say, ‘ya just gotta put one foot in front of the other, and keep doing the right thing…no one is going to do it for you.’  Though I didn’t realize it, we were living just that…my father walked out on us, and mom was doing just what she said.  She didn’t expect anyone to ‘fix’ our situation but she, herself.  And in 6 months, we did move to that house, and I subsequently lived there for the next 13 years, moving out to go to college, when I turned 18.

Because, I was raised by a strong single mother, that work ethic and sense of duty, integrity, honestly, and loyalty was instilled at a young age, and has stayed with me to today.  When I say, I will ‘do something’, unless I’m dead, pretty much, it will happen.  I’m like a golden retriever, they are loyal to no end to their masters.  Though I appreciate all those qualities, those attributes resonated in the back of my mind, prompting me to never give up on anything, regardless of the consequences.  Good or bad, I wanted to see something through to the finish.  But, you see, not all things you commit to have a positive result. 

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.”  Ambrose Redman

How it all began…

What would have happened if she didn’t answer the call to step out of her comfortable life, and go to Ukraine… had turned a deaf ear to God, quenched and grieved the Holy Spirit speaking to her…what would have happened to a boy named Zhenya? The boy she would see everyday as she drove by his house going and from the Children’s Center, just fingers clinched over the top of a cold concrete fence, and a ruffled stocking had nearly hiding a set of lonely eyes peeking out, yearning to see and experience the outside world, the world beyond the concrete fence.

Day after day she would see him as she went about her busy days serving the people of Dzerzhinsk, a small coal town in Eastern Ukraine, bringing food, medicine, clothing, the Gospel, and operating a Children’s activity center, just steps from the boy behind the concrete fence. Everyday the shouts of joy, playful screams, games, songs, kids coming and going by his house, drew his attention.

Finally, she could take it no more. She stopped the van and rang the gate bell at the boy’s house….slowly a woman, Galina opened the gate holding back a snarling dog and a inquisitive young man…she recognized Teresa, she was the American woman who owned the center down the street, everyone knew who the American was, she was a celebrity, a saint and she was at her gate! Teresa introduced herself and began to explain to ‘mom’ about the Center. How we are open to the neighborhood kids so they can have a place, a place to be loved, given attention, to play with each other, be fed, taught the Bible, play on the playground with sports equipment and participate in organized activities…Galina kindly listened, then said, ‘but Zhenya has issues, he is retarded (her words, not ours), has a bit of cerebral palsy, a large hump on his back, he doesn’t speak except for a few grunts and odd whistles and he isn’t a boy, he is 18 yrs. old.’ Teresa replied, ‘I understand all of his issues, but we still welcome him to come, I will personally stay with him throughout the day, if he wants to leave, I will bring him home, if he wants to stay, I will love him, and treat him and respect him, the same as any other boy. Just give us a chance, we can change his world, his quality of life.’ Galina said she would consider it.

His first day he was shy and timid, choosing to watch the activities, the arts and crafts time, during Bible study time he listened intently, during outdoor playtime he watched the kids play basketball and volleyball, playing on the monkey bars, chasing each other around just enjoying having a safe, secure place to play in a dangerous, dark place. But the transformation was nothing short of AMAZING. Zhenya was fascinated with balls, but did not know how to catch or throw a ball. At first it started just bouncing a ball by himself, slowly, then slowly he with a Center worker played ‘catch’ for hours at a time, bounce and catch, bounce and catch, for hours. He was totally content to bounce and catch, if you stopped he would whistle, grunt till you started again. After months of bounce and catch, he started to throw towards the basketball goal…come early, and stay late, he would throw the ball at the basket for hours. When he would make a basket, he screamed with joy.

At snack time he was quiet during prayer, then ate his cookies, and drank tea…a perfect Center kid. In a place where people with special needs are warehoused, locked away in desolate places to die, they are invisible to most, Zhenya had found a place, a place for him, a place that people accepted him. Now 10 years later he still comes almost everyday to the Center. He has never had a negative report from the staff or been a discipline problem. His hand-eye coordination has progressed to now he plays a great game of pingpong, and loves a good puzzle. He loves movie night and popcorn, cooking class and the subsequent meal, sits quietly through devotionals although we are not sure how much he understands, every birthday he gets a cake and party, just like all the other kids, goes swimming, love to ride in Teresa’s van; she makes him feel so loved and special, he cries when she leaves to go back to the states. When she rang that bell…it changed his life for the better, forever, finally like the other kids, he belongs, he has a place to do life.

We began this piece asking what would have happened to Zhenya and the thousands of other children touched by Teresa and her charity His Kids Too!, if she had not answered the call of God to step out of her comfort zone and go to E. Ukraine. In an interview with CNN recently, Teresa was asked why she continues to labor in such a dangerous place, a raging bloody war at her footstep, an out of control virus complicated by obsolete medical care and overwhelming poverty. Why, she said, ‘each person has value and worth to God, every person is important…’ one precious soul, one struggling single mom with hungry kids, one starving babushka, one orphan child that needs parents, for the one with AIDS that no one will touch, one physically disabled with no crutches, one coatless freezing homeless man…and one lonely boy on the other side of the concrete fence…she does it for so many, but it is really for the sake of one.