Every season that I would go to Ukraine, more orphan facilities would invite me to come and visit, and expressed a desire to be placed on our distributon list.  One requirement of this, was that I was able to tour the entire facility, visiably see all the children.  This requirement was for 2 reasons, I wanted to see what they were doing with the resources they were already receiving, and I wanted to see what I would define as needs, and what the staff/director defined as needs.  I knew just from my own experience with adopting our son, that the children would be much smaller than what I was used to seeing in the U.S.   It was always very interesting to walk into a room full of children that looked to be 18 months, and told they were 4 or 5.  The hardest to see where children with special needs.  Time and time again, I would see children with Downs Syndrome, cerebral palsy, dwarfism, missing limbs, blind, deaf, burns, all sorts of issues.  I would ask the director, ‘what will happen to these children?’ The response was about 90% the same, ‘they will be sent to Toraz hospital for invalid children.’  I heard this over and over when I asked about such children, and it was when I made a visit to a facility called, “Our Children”, who was asking for assistance, that I met a little girl named, Alla.

I was on the usual tour of the facility, and we entered a room where children were waiting their turn for the restroom.  A bench was lined with children, and at the end was a little girl sitting on the floor.  I asked why she was on the floor, when there was space on the bench.  The director pulled me aside and said that the girl had ‘poor balance’ and could not sit on the bench.  It was then she stood up, and I could see she had no feet, at all.   She carefully ‘walked’ on her stumps, across the floor to the restroom.  I could not fathom the pain she must be in, walking on those bones, then I noticed her hands, and she had no fingers.  I almost started to cry, but decided ‘what good would that do.’ Turning to the director, I asked, ‘how old is this girl, and what will happen to her.’   The director, clarifying her age with the staff, said she was 3, and that at 4 she would be transferred to Toraz’.  That name again, I thought, I must go there, I must see what this place is.  The director and I were standing with another staff member, when I said, ‘I want to go to this place, Toraz…can you give my translator the contact information.’  Both the staff member and the director, looked at me, horrified, and said, ‘oh, no, you can’t go there, it is like a nightmare…it is the worst place…you will not sleep for days.’  Well, that sealed that, I was definitely going, if this child will only missing limbs would be sent to this Toraz place…I would find this place, and I would go. 

It was a few days later, that we would contact this Toraz facility, and make arrangements to visit.  We loaded up the transport van with clothing, shoes, blankets, and some medical equipment, and left on our journey early in the morning.  It was 2.5 hours away, and the facility was said to have around 400 residents, and I wanted to see as many as possible, though I really had no idea what I was walking into.