Going back to U.S. is such a culture shock.  People are so caught up in things that really don’t matter, things of no consequence, but things that only bring more drama into their empty lives.  I think about those I left behind;  mothers worried about where they will get money for bread for their children, while those here worry about ballet lessons, the latest fashion, and entertainment.  My heart breaks for those that were born to such a life, and those that were born here to so much.  Injustice.   We like to say, and it has been preached, ‘we were born here in this land of plenty, and blessed beyond compare, so that we can inturn bless others, but the truth of the matter, is that many don’t bless others with their over abundance of ‘plenty’, they just buy MORE for themselves.   It is a hard road to walk, and I struggle with the same…who doesn’t want nice things for their family? We all do, we want no one to suffer needlessly, but where and when does it cross the line to ‘too much’…gold toilets, when another has no toilet at all… Is there true sacrificial giving?  Really?  What have ‘we’ done without so that someone else could have the minimum?    It is a question we can all ask ourselves

I remember my friend Elizabeth D., she and her family gave up cable T.V. for one year and gave what would have been their monthly ‘bill money’ to help orphans in China!  Granted, cable isn’t a huge sacrifice, but it is at least something; that everyone felt the ‘sting’.  A year later when I spoke with Elizabeth about this, she said, ‘our family got closer, we talked more, played family games…reconnected….it was a good thing, and children in China benefitted too.’  A win – win, sounds good.    A challenge for myself and others.   What I can say, is that while in UA, I didn’t watch T.V.  I tried to watch the Jewish Network, but after the separatists invaded, they took that station, and eventually, took them all.  Russian propaganda is all that is on T.V., even showing planes that are attacking ground structures trying to get people to believe that Ukraine is being the aggressor. The problem is, if you really look at the news segments, you can see on the sides of the plane other country flags, but you have to look. They ‘fuzz’ the video to try and fool people, and they do a pretty good job of it; but anyway, the point is that I didn’t have news, just the internet, when that was working, and then I can get the BBC, and U.S. news programs.  I spent hours just talking to God…as I had no one else to talk to.  We had conversations about life, about others, just everything.  By doing this, when the war ‘storm’ imposed itself on me, I had a calm assurance, He was with me, and truly felt his protection.    I don’t feel that here in the U.S.  We are way tooo self reliant on not only people, but ‘things’.  In addition, we are very comfortable with our lifestyle.  We don’t ‘need’ God, because we can fix everything ourselves.  It is very sad for me to see, as I see this with my family, friends and even myself at times. I usually think I don’t want to ‘bother’ God will my trivial problems, when that is exactly what He is waiting for, for us to come to Him with everything.   I’m not sure what it will take to get them to ‘come around’…prayerfully NOT a civil war.

9/7/14 –  First Sunday, and it is an odd welcome.  Not a word in the services about my arrival.  It isn’t about ME, but about our fellow brothers and sisters in the trenches in UA.  Prayer for THEM.  Praying for the innocent that are caught in the cross-fire. Prayer for Ukraine.  So many suffering, and it just seems that no one cares.  It is baffling. When people are not mentioned in prayer, when it isn’t acknowledged that there are people, suffering and DYING, there is a problem.  Lord, help me to discern what to do about this.   I cannot just sit idlely by and not acknowledge our friends suffering.  This isn’t ‘right’, it isn’t what the Bible teaches at all.  So why do I sit and do nothing?   So the service goes on, people being told that God wants us to be happy, wants us to rejoice in Him; this isn’t about US, our happiness, what about others, their suffering, our lack of mercy for them??   This is what I want to hear about…people being brought to conviction about their lives, lifestyles, convicted to DO something that will effect someone else, not we must live a life that satisfies themselves.  I don’t know what to make of all this, but I’m prayerful as to what to DO about it.

9/9/2014 – 9/9/2014 – On the phone with Valia, as the shelling continues in Dz.  So much for the ceasefire.   She says that they bought food today and will distribute to 5 displaced families on Friday.  I don’t understand the ‘wait’, but it could be that they could not get there.   She talked about buying food for the church members, but I’m not so sure about this…as when they could have FREE food, they didn’t want it, so I’m not so sure about going and buying food, that they may not even eat.    Humm….  They seem somewhat prideful in many ways, for been so needy.   Our funds have been drastically depleted, as many people think that we have pulled out of eastern Ukraine, where it is just the opposite, we are still here, and the work has increased due to so many people fleeing the unprovoked attack of Russia.

I was reading over the battle at Ilovaisk trying to get a sense of what happened… so scary the way the UA men were led to believe one thing and then something else happened.  Over 300 of the 600 were just gunned down after they had been told they had safe passage through a large open field. They were gunned down.    There must be investigation for this, and punishment.  So many just gone, my heart just hurts for these men and their families. Putin is such a snake, he must be held accountable. The knowledge of eternal accountability is understood, I just can’t imagine if my loved one was told, and given the impression if they laid their weapon down, they would be given a ‘green corridor’ to cross the field back to UA, and instead they were slaughtered like ‘sitting ducks’. Who does that? Who structs others to do that? Only evil, pure evil.!

I’m gearing up to return to Ukraine, and the ticket is bought, and I will leave late October. It is certainly a bitter-sweet to leave my family, and return. My sweet granddaughter just cries and cries when I leave, begging me to stay. It is extremely difficult to say ‘good-bye’… Once the good-bye’s are done, I get on the plane and start to get my head back in the frame of mind to be watchful of everyone…it is very stressful to always be ‘on’, sometimes one needs to let their guard down, but just when you do that, ‘boom’ the shelling starts…